forty-4

1. The earth-based origins of this holiday season. So many origins to why we celebrate this time of year in the first place - in ancient Babylon, today was the fest of the son of Isis (Goddess of Nature & Magic) & was full of celebration, feasting & gift-giving. Pagans burned the Yule log in worship of Mithras, the Sun God. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshipping huge trees. Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during winter as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25. There is little doubt that he was trying to make it as easy as possible for pagan Romans (who remained a majority at that time) to convert to Christianity, without taking their feast days from them.

2. Random texts with Pagan references. I love having so many friends who just get it. :)

3. Native American Church songs always fill my heart with joy. I love walking the read road & am blessed to have this be a big part of my spiritual path.


4. Rain. It's the first time in years I've been rained out of my annual Christmas Day hike/feast, what has become my tradition of celebrating out in nature. But the rain is nourishing our eARTh, and the rainy season makes us that much more grateful when the sun shines again.

5. Candles are allowing me to make a backup plan & fill the house with light & have my own little ceremony of sorts as I stay dry & warm.

6. Mourning. Today I was thinking of my dear sweet teacher Durwin WhiteLightning who passed a little over a year ago. We just had a memorial tipi ceremony for him a few weeks ago & another layer of mourning has come to stir up my grief & sadness to be released & transformed into an open heart filled with gratitude for all he shared with us before he left this life. There is so much beauty in this process of honoring the dark emotions & all the treasure that is hidden down there.

7. Kaitiakitanga. This is the Maori concept that humans must be responsible guardians of the natural beauty surrounding us. I love this simple truth & all I am uncovering as I study their traditional culture in preparation for the New Zealand chapter of my life.

8. Envisioning the land I will one day own & live in community on feels so good & brings me closer to the reality on its way. I envision a biodynamic herb farm, a healing center, endless fields of lavender, a treehouse for me to dwell in, unique structures of all kinds - a beehive hut, a dome shaped sacred space for worshipping Oneness & all spiritualities. I am almost at the place to start sketching up some loose plans.

9. Treehouses. So magical. This dream I've had since I lived in NYC still lives in my heart & I know one day I will create it in my reality. I am very grateful that we get to co-create our lives as we want. Sleeping atop the tree protectors is such a beautiful thing.

10. Paid dog-sitting gigs are appearing to solve my housing situation & help me save money for herb school tuition. I am always being provided for - thank you, Universe.

11. Embracing the child within makes for a much easier, more magical adult life. Undo the programming, heal the wounds, get back to your dreams, your heart, your bliss, your awe - you will feel gratitude every single day, I promise.

12. Inspiration. Today I am feeling so inspired for music making. I love how this part of my life is growing - fiddle, unlocking my voice to restore it to its formal glory & the electronic part of creating - it's all so magical. I can't wait to see what unfolds when I am good enough at them all separately to put them together. I am grateful to be taking these next steps on my creative path.

13. Newness. Fully embracing all that is being released, letting the old go to make way for the new. This next year is going to be the best ever - I know it.

14. Yoga is the perfect indoor remedy to being rained out of my annual Christmas day hike. Yoga in front of the fireplace to be exact. Thank you, body for holding me in physical form. Oh, it feels so good to take care of you & love you in this way.

15. Fresh Spring Rolls fully of yummy raw veggies, dipped in peanut sauce. Fresh, clean lunch.

16. Cheri Huber for teaching me to have compassion for myself, no matter what. I have come back to her over & over again over the last few years. You can check her out here.

17. The perfection of us. We are all perfect exactly as we are - that is the truth. The illusion of separateness is dissolving on a global level & all of humanity is starting to remember that we are all one. It is such an exciting time to be alive.

18. Wind chimes in the breeze are such a sweet medicine on this day.

19. Heat. Grateful to be warm & comfortable on this wet, cold day.

20. Feather trees on the altar decorated with nature...definitely a beautiful, earthy twist on Christmas.

21. The heart. It is the only way, this way. Through, through, through. We all know it from birth, we are taught to go other ways, but this is the path that always leads us home no matter what.

40-three

1. Increasing New Zealand synchronicities every single day since the wellness & dance retreat we are putting together was birthed. This dream from a few years back is being called into being & the Universe is affirming, yes, it's time. The last sync in the chain - another dear sister today shared her dream of swimming with the whales next fall, so the timing might sync up perfectly for right after I finish the herbal studies program at CSHS.

2. Goddess In Us. I have been feeling an intense surge of the Divine feminine surfacing from within me - strong, wise, powerful & grounded. I am feeling more clear & confident than ever before, more deeply in touch with my inner wisdom than ever before, so full of trust. It is time to stop calling forth goddess energies from the outside & realize she is in all of us.

3. Solstice Full Moon Eclipse for being so mesmerizing & powerful. Calling in the light this year was especially powerful & all that I called in & set intentions for instantly began stirring up my pot to release all that no longer serves & make room for all that I have called in for this next phase of my life.

4. Learning to control my energy & slowly mastering the tools I have...the awareness to notice when I've let something hook in & the ability to reframe, shift & bring myself back up. It's been a few years of re-patterning & doing this work and I still feel as if I am only just beginning to understand how to work with energy.

5. Annual Cafe Gratitude Christmas Party was big fun. Spent time with my community, met some new folks, enjoyed some eye candy & a free massage. It was a sweet evening.

6. Herbal facials are one of the sweetest natural ways to pamper yourself. Some great recipes here or you can buy a sweet herbal facial sampler kit from Mountain Rose here. Step up the self-care because you love you.

7. Quiet solitude. Really grateful to have the house to myself tonight to exhibit radical self-care & pampering with an amazing dinner, herbal facial, reading & meditation.

8. Owl songs. While taking my almost daily hike at sunset, two owls began singing to each other. Then the crashing ocean waves chimed in as the chorus. It was a beautiful, syncopated moment. I am so grateful for this planet full of miracles.

9. Friends. Really loved connecting with one of my goddesses tonight. Such a sweet soul, an amazing listener & a wealth of wisdom and strength. I love you, Dheva.

10. Wild blueberries frozen from this summer are so perfect in smoothies right now.

11. Balance. This year was intense & up & down and all over. So much deep, inner work & healing, but also so many amazing new things in my life. I am calling in a gentler, more balanced year for two-thousand-and-a-lovin'

12. Intention setting for the year has already begun. Mine consists of really devoting myself to my herbal studies program in spring; calling in a healthy, nurturing partnership now that I have integrated the lessons of my last relationship; beginning the planning for an event in New Zealand and hopefully traveling to Serbia & Croatia with my parents during the 2 week break between semesters.

13. Warriors. While I was doing my intention setting & calling in the new year, I got very clear on the fact that what I am looking for in partnership, besides a loving, gentle, compassionate soul, is someone who is as much of a warrior in doing their work as I am - someone who is already doing their work on their own, someone who is as dedicated to showing up as unconditional love as I am. I am ready for someone who is on the same page, at a similar place in life with their path so that we can do the work together & create our relationship as a safe place for our spiritual growth.

14. Blood orange season is one of the most delicious times of year.

15. Magical manifestations! It is so, so, so amazing looking back at what my intentions were a year or two ago & seeing how many of them I have called into being - the year of travel exploring community, starting a raw, organic chocolate company, herb school, deepening in ceremonial work, immersing myself deeper in dance, creating community, stepping onto my path as healer, reversing a disease, vision questing, fire walking. Even though it was a rough year, the magic & beauty far outweigh the rest.

16. Letting abundance in lights up my soul. I woke up to a bunch of random chocolate orders all at once & it just made my day to see the fruits of letting go & simply allowing money to come in from doing things I love & enjoy. This is going to spread to cleanses & reiki in the next month for sure.

17. The herbal tribe growing & sprouting up all over. I love connecting with radiant beings over our love for the plant nation & all its magic.

18. Mystery. It's so great to have things just come up in life & not know why they have appeared & just be open to seeing what happens without any attachment. Surrendering & allowing the unfolding...

19. Kirsten another goddess friend in Canada. We have so many syncs about the kind of land we want to buy, living in community, building a healing center, shamanism, dance medicine & so much more...I am calling in the Universe to support her wanting to move out west to BC or Cali. I wonder if we will one day end up living in community together.

20. Looking back. I'm all for staying present to what is, but I've really been enjoying posting my travel photos a year after I've returned. It's been a sweet reminder of all I have done with this life so far & reaffirms where I am headed.

21. Kombucha for its sweet, medicinal buzz.

forty-2

1. Major shifts are occuring. I am stepping deeper into my power, letting go of a lot of hold fears & limitations that have kept me from creating my full income from my gifts. I have been chiseling away at this one piece by piece over the years, have started my own company & have made a lot of progress, but these fears & limitations have kept me from doing it for 100% of my income. I've always clung to a backup plan to keep me 'safe' which was essentially me giving away my power & letting fear rule. A lot is shifting. My healing practice is unfolding in the most beautiful way at last. I am ready to do everything I was born for.

2. Divine bursts of motivation took over me today as I realized that I once used to run straight towards my fears to create the best life ever. The last several months I've been waiting for them to go away, but today remembered to move through them is the only way, so I made a lot of progress getting ready to launch my new website for my healing practice. I'm consolidating all the small projects I've been doing for the last few years into one place. Feels so good!

3. Lydia one of my tribal clan in Austin, TX. Today we had such a beautiful talk about love, life, spirit, the usual. I am so blessed to have her reflection in my life. We are putting together a very special project for 2012 in New Zealand.

4. Special Projects! It feels so good to be all buzzing with creative thoughts from source about the retreat Lydia & I are creating for the 2012 lunar eclipse in New Zealand. We are blending all our shamanic work & passions together. It will be part cleanse & emotional work, part ceremony, part dance...I cannot wait to watch it unfold each step of the way.

5. Govinda for providing a fantastic soundtrack to get so much work done. Give a listen to that electronic fiddle magic:


6. Newness. I am so relishing every moment of giving birth to this next phase of my life - it's so fresh, exciting & mysterious.

7. Trust. Knowing with every fiber of my being that everything is unfolding absolutely perfectly, no matter the outcome. It all leads me exactly where I need to be all the time, this magical flow of life.

8. CSHS. I went to herb school yesterday to interview for one of the coveted Garden Apprenticeship slots in my program. It'll give me an additional 2 days in the garden with the plants, soaking up the massive wealth of knowledge the gardener has to share. I am so in love with this place. This next year of my life is going to be so beautiful - I'm so excited.

9. Dancing Freedom & Samantha Sweetwater. Her work is amazing & after all this time dancing 5 Rhythms, I am eager to train to teach something. Manifesting my way to the facilitator training on Mt. Shasta in a few months:


10. Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck is awesome. Even though I've know the pieces of my divine path/life's purpose/calling/right life & have been moving towards it, this book not only helps to reaffirm what I already know, but helps me put together the pieces in a more clearly defined way which is helping me move mountains.

11. Daily walks are back again. Oh, how I missed this sunset nature prayer ritual of mine. Life just isn't the same without it.

12. Winter in Northern California is gorgeous. I love this season - the rolling hills transform from their golden summer hues to the lush, deep green that make my soul soar. Everything is so ripe for life, the mushrooms are everywhere, the water is abundant.

13. New Zealand dreams. Before I left for my year of travel in the states, a dream began to take shape of WWOOFing in New Zealand at farms where I could get skilled in beekeeping & winemaking. Now with the retreat Lydia & I are putting together, it's finally getting called into being.

14. The Plant Nation for filling my life with splendor & awe over and over.

15. Free housing just keeps appearing, allowing me to save for my tuition. Thank you, Universe so always providing for me, miracle after miracle.

16. Free legal advice from a stellar lawyer. Thank you, Jerome, for helping me learn how to get my business stuff in order.

17. Dancing in the wilderness is such good medicine. When I become a dance facilitator, I will be taking the dance floor out to the forest regularly. Barefoot, grounded, natural. Mmmm.

18. Flow. Feels so good to just be on a roll with everything right now, constant motion, moving forward, expanding, flowing.

19. Bomb salads chock full of the best organic produce ever. Yum.

20. Crow medicine always on the trail. So much wisdom to be shared.

21. The land. I just love this planet so much. My heart comes undone with each hike, camping trip, adventure. Each tree pulls at my heart strings & willingly I give my love.

forty-one

1. Tipi meetings. So many beautiful prayers, so much love, compassion, kindness, healing & radiance. I love this medicine & how it helps me in my life. I am so grateful for these ancient, native ways that have been such a huge part of my spiritual path these last few years. Mitakuye Oyasin!

2. Reminders from the Universe. I sat next to one of the sweetest, most heart-centered, compassionate, kind souls. There was nothing between us on an intimate level (and he already has a lovely wife), but I know he will become a dear friend, and it was a beautiful reminder of the 'kind' of man I deserve in my life, the kind of energy I am seeking in partnership - warm, open, compassionate, emotionally available, gentle. Sometimes we need these reminders that those things do exist so we can keep our hearts open & trusting to allow them to appear to us.

3. Learning to love your pains. When my back was cracking in the tipi & I wished the 10-year injury away, this same sweet brother reminded me,"You have to love your pains or else they grow stronger." Aho!

4. Morning dew. In the Mendocino morning dew, I saw an entire Universe being birthed on a piece of tree bark. So much life, so many living things taking shape to create a system.

5. Mushroom season is my favorite season! It's time to forage a ton of goodies to cook with this year. Chanterelles especially.

6. Free massages. At this last ceremony, I met another sweet brother studying Tibetan Medicine who gave me a wonderful massage to help my tense neck & shoulders that have been troubling.

7. Durwin WhiteLightning was one of the greatest teachers to have blessed my life. This ceremony was a memorial ceremony to commemorate the 1-year anniversary of his death. It was so beautiful to gather & celebrate his life & share all the gifts he had given us with each other. My heart is cracked wide open.

8. Amazing Grace has been my favorite song my whole life. I think I was on that ship when it came to be in a past life. I found out it was Durwin's favorite song too when someone asked me to sing it. I wonder if our souls recognized each other in this life from that ship. It would not surprise me.

9. Random acts of kindness. Another sweet brother at the ceremony gave me some beautiful peyote beadwork to keep - a necklace with green, hexagram plant - so auspicious for me to have as I begin the next stage of my medicine woman journey. Thank you, stranger.

10. Kiera for bringing tears to my eyes as she shared from her heart what an angel I have been in her life during her darkest hours. I am so grateful to have friend who see me, and to be able to hold space for them & love them exactly as they are. She is a gift.

11. Angel syncs. The next day I was having a tough time & remembered her words. I began to think of these angle wing tribal earrings I'd had my eyes on for awhile. I looked up and saw a sign that said "Golden Angel Jewelers" & decided it's time to step into my angel powers and own them. I've been needing a style change anyway :)


12. Sacred foods for helping us end ceremony is such a delightful way. I love these prayers, I love blessing what we put into our bodies, I love it all.

13. Tennessee Valley hikes are the perfect daily exercise while I'm staying in Mill Valley for a few weeks. It's one of my favorite hikes to the ocean, so beautiful.

14. Feasting bunnies. Yesterday while I hiked at dusk, I saw about 30 rabbits come out to feast on the grass at sunset. It was so sweet. I love these cycles of life.

15. New friends. I am just always meeting so many sweet, sweet souls. I love these connections, especially the ones I feel I will know a bit more, a bit longer. Blessed humans.

16. Ashwagandha root is godsend. I've been taking a tincture of ashwagandha, licorice, eleuthero, ginseng, gotu kola, hawthorn, astragalus & ginger that is simply magical. My adrenals are so very happy & supported.

17. Herb School! As it gets closer to the start of the 8-month herbalism program I have been accepted into, I am getting more & more excited, my heart is leaping with joy & I have a massive smile on my face every time I think about it. It's going to be amazing.

18. Garden Apprenticeship. Though I've already been accepted into the Herbalism program, I've also applied for one of the coveted Garden Apprenticeship slots which would give the opportunity to actually live on the land there, as well as 2 more days full of learning & spending time communicating with the plants. Tomorrow is my in-person interview & I am so excited to see the land again. It told me I had to live there.

19. Business transformation. The company I started, Earth Alchemy, is undergoing major transformation to shift from an herbal, raw chocolate company to a full-on herbal company selling tinctures, salves, medicines, teas, soaps, beauty care products, a new line of herbal chocolates & an infinite amount of herbal love. I am so excited for this expansion & transformation.

20. Forest stew. Time to make an amazing dinner of forest stew from some local mushrooms, venison & a ton of veggies. I love creating healthy, nourishing dishes!

21. Love. It is just overflowing in my life right now. I am feeling so grounded, so centered, so ready to shift so many things & move into this next stage of creating the life I've been dreaming about.

40. GiveThanks Day 2010

1. Blood ties. My family is so far away on this holiday & I miss them so, so, so much. I love them so dearly. I am so infinitely grateful that I have a healthy, loving relationship with both of my parents & have reached the point in my life where I actually miss being around them on the holidays & find myself wishing I could afford to fly back east just for 3 days. It took my dad & I a long time, but we've been enjoying the last year & a half beautifully, and I feel as if I've only just begun to learn how to love & appreciate every moment with family.

2. Chosen family. We have the one we're born with, and then the one we choose. I am so, so, so grateful for the amazing tribe I've gathered around me. People who really & truly see me. People who love me unconditionally and show up in my life in the most positive, loving, kind ways. I feel like I have everything I've always wanted & deserved right now. Thank you, all of you. I love you.

3. Morning yoga is the best way I've ever started Thanksgiving! My friend Lizzy taught her first class this morning to a group of us...it was so perfect, so beautiful, so heart-opening. What better way to give thanks than this?

4. Community. I spent my day volunteering at Cafe Gratitude serving free Thanksgiving Day meals & in addition to spending time with some of the members of my chosen tribe, I also got to connect with other people in the local community. It was a giant lovefest.

5. Being of service especially on the holidays, just fills me up. Don't hide your heart from the world - giving is where it's at!

6. Raw pumpkin pie was the best part of my meal. Yum!

7. Abandoned meadows. Took a walk after dinner today and discovered that the stairs near up the hill from our house lead to a sweet little piece of land. From that far up, you can see all of town.

8. Living in Marin. Nature is all around me here. I have redwoods & waterfalls at my finger tips, deer as landmates, hummingbirds visiting for lunch. It fills me with such joy to live in one of the most beautiful places on eARTh.

9. Warm spicy chai keeping the frost out on this blustering day.

10. Mother Earth for blessing us in so many ways. What sweet perfection, sufficiency, balance...I am full of awe every single day.

11. The best naturopath ever has been helping me reverse hypothyroidism for the last few years. His guidance + my intuition + divine downloads from the Universe = kickass healing team. Tomorrow we get to focus on my gut & hormones, the remaining puzzle pieces.

12. Reversing a disease has been the most amazing thing I think I've ever done in my life. The 'Path of the Wounded Healer' has been so intensely beautiful & amazing & getting sick was actually the best thing that ever happened to me. Through this, I discovered the real, authentic me inside. My thyroid labs are coming out clean, and once we get the rest of my hormones & gut issues tackled, I will be living in a 100% balanced & healthy body. I'm almost there!

13. Herb School. A few months ago, I got accepted to the California School of Herbal Studies & today am polishing off my application for one of the coveted Garden Apprenticeships which will enable me to spend even more time playing in the dirt, talking to the plants & learning from them. May it be so.

14. Team Goddess. I have sooooooo many amazing women in my life these days. I have no idea how they assembled or when I called them all into my life, but I am in awe at how loved, supported & held I feel by all the ladies in my life who have held space, prayed for me, prayed with me, sat in ceremony with me, send me words of encouragement, reminded me who I am & have just shown up as beautiful reflections. I love all of you.

15. Recommendation Letter Pam-Anela, an old coworker of mine is one of the sweetest, most generous beings. Thank you to her & Chris King (another recent coworker) for writing me letters of recommendation for the Garden Apprenticeship program.

16. Luna. This month's blue moon energy was intense. I am so glad when I look up into the night sky & see our sweet dear Luna basking her light down on us, guiding us through the darkness.

17. Avasa & Matty Love for singing songs of love & beauty. A married couple in my gratitude clan, they folks are on fire with creativity & inspiration. Avasa has the voice of a goddess, for real & Matty knows just how to balance it. Check their music out here.

18. The voice of the heart always whispering the way to go, steering us towards our highest good.

19. Candles that keep me warm, that give me a focus when I am praying at my altar, that bathe me in their light & help me connect with the Divine.

20. Tears that cleanse away our pains, our fears, our sorrow, our grief, always allowing everything to flow out so we can make room for more love, more beauty, more good.

21. Generosity. An amazing video from the Charity Focus gang, some of my local heroes:

30-nine

1. All women's sweat lodge. After years of practicing the native ways & participating in numerous sweats, tipi meetings & a vision quest, I finally found a local women's sweat lodge! I love co-ed prayers, but there is something so sweet & nourishing about praying together with other women. The beauty makes my heart smile. And it's only 5 minutes from home.

2. The Universe for reliving me again and again of things that no longer serve me. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

3. Self-love going deeper and deeper than I ever imagined was possible. I can see how the love for myself I discovered a few years ago was only the beginning. This love affair has so much terrain to cover in each lifetime. I am so grateful to know myself, every intricacy, every crevice of beauty & divinity.

4. Deepening. Healing my relationship with my dad almost 2 years ago was just the beginning. Now I get to go deeper & deeper in healing, letting go of the programming, unlearning the negative self-talk, deepening in healthy habits, deepening in love. I love this human journey!

5. The beautiful Blue Moon for casting a whee bit of the chaos of change on us to stir things up and get us present.

6. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist is one of the most amazing books I have ever picked up. I've been slowly digesting it over the last few months, a chunk at a time. It's so full of the abundance medicine I need right now.

7. Serendipitous card readings. I had a momentary freakout about earning herb school tuition in time, and then went to Cafe Gratitude for some love medicine. Some nights, a local Wicca gives free card readings, so I pulled a card - The Lovers, pointing to the karmic connection that is stirring up the financial issues calling to be healed at this time.

8. Wheatgrass apple ginger tonic in a wine glass was the perfect pampering medicine after releasing so many emotions. I am healing, I am healed.

9. Amma. I feel so blessed to live so close to Amma's ashram & to be able to get hugs & love from her so often. This time I wasn't feeling the desire to mess with the chaos, so found a beautiful little nook to nest in during service. I cocooned myself, and as the music played & everyone sang, I melted into a giant love puddle & became one with the floor. Thank you, Ammachi!

10. Dheva for her radiance, beauty & love. For holding space & always being there for me. I love you, dear sweet friend. So glad you are in my world this lifetime.

11. The infinite lessons from my 2-month housing situation: do not settle, don't convince yourself to stay in ANY situation that is anything less than positive, loving & supportive. Let go & make space for what you want to enter your life.

12. Surrender. So grateful for learning my own strength by allowing energy to move through me. Simply accepting & allowing is the way.

13. Reiki clinic seva. I donated several hours of healing work at the SF Reiki Clinic and it just felt so yummy & juicy to be doing healing work on people who are stepping up their level of self-care. The client feedback I got reminded me why I do this work & how many lives I am capable of changing. So excited for more of this work! I hope one day I can facilitate a clinic up here in Marin.

14. Anna Dorian my beloved reiki teacher. I went to a shamanic journeying group one night & met her. I had been putting it out to the Universe that I was ready for an energy healing teacher to move forward on my path & was instantly enamored with her bright, radiant energy, laughter & love so knew she was it. Then shortly after, a spot opened up for me to do study with her last spring & become a practitioner.

15. Allowing things to unfold naturally. Trust, trust, trust.

16. Floradix herbal iron love that is so helping my body.

17. May I Be Frank is my friend Ryland's film. It documents the transformation of Frank Ferrante's life in the span of 42 Days. It's an amazing look at a funny, big hearted human being healing his heart, changing his life & discovering the person who has been inside the whole time. You can learn more & watch the preview here. It made me laugh & it made me cry - both equally beautiful experiences.

18. The amazing feeling of getting paid well to do things I love & enjoy. The Universe has been delivering me some really amazing gigs lately that have been fun, financially abundant & easy. More of this is coming my way soon.

19. Cleanse assistance. I also got paid to help a friend with a cleanse she was doing, which was so in alignment with my highest self & brought me such joy. I am feeling into all these places where I get to create financial abundance doing things that just feel right. It's growing. Energy flows where attention goes!

20. Adam Barley 5 Rhythms Chaos Workshop. For 3 days I danced in chaos with this man, this magical teacher. I left there feeling more grounded within chaos than I had ever known was possible. Thank you, Adam, for teaching me how very much I am capable of. I feel as if I can do all that I want to in the face of anything right now!

21. Marin County for being the most beautiful place I've called home so far.

thirty-8.

1. Being greeted by dawn. I have the most amazing view of the sunrise from my bed...large gorgeous east-facing windows give me a few of the sun coming up from behind the mountain each day.

2. Purging. I did a pretty decent purge before my travels, but after a year on the road you learn to live with so little & I am grateful to bring that experience into the process of paring my belongings down even more. Releasing, releasing, releasing. It makes me feel so much lighter!

3. Not settling. I temporarily found myself in joyless housing & work situations, which reminded me I don't need to settle - ever! The amazing things I want really are out there & do come to me when I allow them in. I choose to return to movement, continuing to seek what I want & not stopping til I find it. When I live this way, my life is full the most magical experiences - it's time to return to it & discard everything that is not in alignment with that I choose to create. So I gave notice that I'm moving out & am shifting work things as well.

4. Palo Santo for cleansing the energies in my room & helping me create a safe haven where clarity always comes and my prayers are always answered.

5. The Abounding River. I've picked the 42-Day Cafe Gratitude Abounding River practice up again and already so much is shifting. This work takes you deep into abundance and love!

6. Joanna. My Memphis belle saved me from a weird couchsurfing situation when I was traveling in Memphis (I chose to call her instead of settling for staying where I was) & we are still so closely in touch, and she's decided to be my partner for the 42-day Abounding River process. Yay!

7. Daily medication & prayer is the best medicine ever.

8. Betty is the best rockstar car ever. Cross-country 3 times, Burning Man twice & just a huge comfort for me through so many things. Yes, I love my car. And she loves me too.

9. The messages in the cards. Everything has been super spot on the last few readings I've gotten from any of the Doreen Virtue Decks - messages about doing healing work, how to heal financial blocks & shift things. And I keep getting the soulmate & twin flame cards from different people using different decks. Fun.

10. Gabe for giving me one especially lovely reading about manifesting the tuition money for herb school. So many things I needed to hear to heal things & take control of the situation. Stepping into my power!

11. Rumi for always having the words that my heart needs to hear.

12. Hafiz. Ditto.

13. Halloween is the best holiday ever. So excited for this years Ecstatic Dance event. The abundance of conscious, sober dance events in the Bay Area astounds me.

14. The Good Earth is our small town's natural foods store, but it's more like town hall. It sometimes takes 2 hours to grocery shop because you run into so many people, and I love every single minute of it!

15. Gluten-free goat mac and cheese from The Good Earth. As cooked food has found it's way back into my diet, this amazing gluten-free cheesy goodness seems to be finding it's way onto my plate a little too often. So good!

16. Vegan coconut tapioca pudding is another G'Earth item that is just too good. Yum, yum, yum.

17. Cleansing. I feel like I have a decent balance of raw & cooked, but have been eating some stuff (see above) that isn't that great for me, so I think it's time to cleanse with some raw food for a bit to elevate my vibration. Cleansing feels so good - releases so much!

18. The plant nation for feeding us, giving us medicine, cleaning our air, rooting beneath us, providing us with shelter & love.

19. Sunshine transmitting its energy into our skin, our food & everything around us. Light, light, light.

20. Sound healing and the masters of the craft. Crystal bowls, didgeridoos, gongs & the whole arsenal - woah.

21. Fiddle syncs. I've been having so many fiddle synchronicities lately - I know the time for me to buy one is oh so close. I've been scoping out the first one I want - it's calling to me. Soon it's gonna come home with me.

30-se7en

I guess this is the Burning Man addition :)

1. Burning Man. I swear it gets better & better every time. This year was the most gentle, grounded, sweet experience. I camped with the best people ever & had the most amazing time.

2. Camp Gratitude. I can't even put this into words, but I camnped with the best people ever. Our camp was so grounded, full of clearing & healing. We ate all fresh, organic food all week long, had amazing communal meals, days full of playing guitar & singing about love in all it's forms. Can't wait til next year!

3. Jason Mraz for coming to play & sing at our camp every day. So great to meet such a positive force in delivering the message of love to the pop-culture masses in person & see that he really is an open-hearted, humble, sweet brother in person too. And his lady was oh so lovely too.

4. New connections. Amongst the beautiful angels I already knew in my camp, I got to meet a whole host of new angles on a mission to brighten the world with their light. So many beautiful conversations about healing, community, owning land and us being the ones we've waited for. We are doing it! I am so grateful for these new connections.

5. Sonya Sophia is an eARTh angel. There is no other way to describe here. One of my highlights at Burning Man this year was a 2-hour-long EFT session she led in a duststorm about tapping into our divine purpose. It was so magical, so healing & so beautiful to sit there with 100 other people doing this work in unison. I had been doing EFT for the last year & one if the women I've worked with told me about her. I am so glad I finally got to meet her - she is so amazing & I feel so called to train with her in the Bay Area when the time is right.

6. Reconnecting with some lovely beings I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with in recent months. Sometimes space, time & distance are what we need to heal & when we come together again, it's so beautiful to meet from a new direction!

7. Dubstep massive. The bass therapy always does me right, eargasm after eargasm.

8. Rhythm Wave Camp was just a quick bike ride down the playa from us so I got to spend a lot of time with my 5 Rhythms dance familia. This practice has been such a big part of my life & it was so wonderful to be able to experience it out there & dance barefoot on the bamboo floor in the mornings. Perfect way to wake up.

9. Yoga & 5 Rhythms at the Temple. Wow, what a sight to behold! Hundreds of people doing yoga together at sunset in front of the temple, and then a healing dance party after.

10. Temple experiences. When I walked in the temple to write my prayers on it, I was come undone by the energy. I felt as if I had taken on everyone's grief & sorrow and just allowed it to move through me in the form of cleansing tears. Then this beautiful man played his music which completed my release & lifted me into such a heightened state of love.

11. Fresh young coconuts were the best thing to have out on the playa. Thank you, nature's gatorade. Hydration is key.

12. Vegan Beet Kvass is fermented, healing delicousness.

13. Love. Just so many beautiful soul connections I cannot even begin to describe.

14. Free ice cream in the hot Nevada desert surrounded by beautiful people in costumes covered in dust. Beeyouteefull!

15. Generosity. The generosity I encounter at Burning Man always makes my heart well up. We are bringing this change to the default world by living lives of service, in alignment with our souls, giving just to give.

16. The giant dancing lady was by far one of the best art pieces on the playa this year - so powerful, graceful and inspiring.

17. Sea dragon art car adventures. They always have the most amazing music - a lot of world fusiony dubstep, glitch & bass with the sweetest melody to lift you up. Mmmm.

18. Sleep. This year I actually got some!

19. Playa babies. So many special & amazing little baby beings playing in the dust this year. It brings a sweet, innocent balance to the chaos.

20. Dust storm burn. The burning of The Man was so intense. A massive dust storm passed through as he was being lit & the combination made it look like we were in some crazy apocalyptic reality, which was actually quite beautiful in so many ways.

21. Heart-opening. I finally feel so completely healed from my last relationship which ended at the end of last winter. It took several months and there were so many lessons in self-love & healing and now my heart is completely wide open for whatever love comes next. There is always more :)

thirty-6.

1. Speaking my truth. It's not always easy with some people, but speaking how I genuinely feel from a place of love & not allowing anyone to tell me I 'should' feel or be any differently than I am feels so delicious & empowering. It's removed so much fear and allowed to go to even deeper levels of self-love & alignment with my inner guidance. Eternally grateful for all of this healing.

2. Reiki clinic beauty. I'm fulfilling yet another one of my dreams by putting my healing abilities to good use as a practitioner at SF's sliding-scale reiki clinic. Bringing affordable healing to the masses is a longtime dream of mine, I can't believe I'm really a part of something so major.

3. I Will Be Light by Matisyahu has become one of my anthems the last few months. I just can't seem to get enough of it. Burn Away the Darkness:


4. Surprises. Life is so full of them, each one bringing the magic of joy to us. I love a good mystery. ;)

5. Bird medicine. Saw a hawk, Great Blue Heron, egret, hummingbird & a plethora of swallows all in the span of an hour. I love where I live.

6. Releasing. Feels so good letting go. Every time I let go of things that no longer fit, it frees up so much space & the things I've been craving instantly come in to fill that space. It's an instant confirmation from the Universe - follow your gut!

7. Redwood hot tub in my backyard. Nightly soaks staring up talking to the star brothers & sisters, mmm, I love this before bed ritual.

8. Dance medicine. I know I've said it a million times, but I'll say it again - I love my dance familia & this 5 Rhythms movement medicine that has brought so much love & beauty into my life.

9. Palo Santo for clearing the energies & tickling my senses.

10. Ceremonial life just fills me up. All these Native ways of living, praying, bring with the land & our hearts. This path brings me so much joy, so much growth, so much healing and so much love for everything.

11. Chocolate selling galore. It feels so wonderful to make money doing something that I love. I look forward to the day when all of my income is coming only from things I love - art, traveling, healing work, raw chocolate & making music.

12. Voice healing. At a ceremony awhile back, the curandero told me I must sing. When I was younger I had an amazing voice, and as I got older, the 5th chakra issues that manifested as hypothyroidism blocked me. Singing & getting my voice back has been such a beautiful part of my healing path - I am so grateful to hear it coming back & transforming beyond its previous capacity. Love this!

13. Photography. It still fills my heart & soul up, after all these years. I still get so much joy from photographing, printing, editing bodies of work. What a huge gift from the Universe, to find things that are always lifting you up, allowing you to express yourself.

14. Permacultured backyards. I love where I live. It's so magical to grab fresh food from the yard and bring it in to prepare a meal. Extra delicious, extra rewarding & extra simple.

15. The little ones. Seems to be a big burst of baby-making going on amongst my friends. I guess we are finally hitting the age where it's time to settle down & create families. I love seeing all these beautiful ways in which life chooses to express itself in human form. It does wonders for my heart.

16. Summer. Now that I live in nature & am outside the city, I experience summer temperatures again. Feels so good & to think I'm only a 25 minute drive to SF. It feels like I am worlds away, here amongst the redwoods & waterfalls. Best move I ever made.

17. Divine guidance. I have noticed how my inner guidance has so very openly steered me to all the places I've needed to live & how much those places served in my growth in transformation - NYC, SF, Fairfax and especially that year of traveling around in line with my true gypsy nature. I trust that I will always know exactly where I am supposed to go so long as I take the time to listen inside. Some things, we just know.

18. The waluta from my vision quest in May hangs on my wall where I am called to look at it constantly. Over and over again, I am reminded of my prayer from the vision quest, my time up on the hill & all that has unfolded since. It is working, this constant prayer to be in a dis-ease free body.

19. Health. These last few months of cycling back in to heal a chronic illness have been so challenging, but I know that each step is part of the process & is bringing me back to health & vitality. I can feel the changes in my body, my energy levels, my mood, and am grateful to finally be feeling like I am closer to being myself again. After 2 years of feeling amazing & living the life of my dreams, it was so scary to cycle back in & I am so grateful for this natural healing path & all I have learned from it.

20. Wildcrafted herbs made into tea and tinctures, oh my. I love this plant-filled life.

21. Heart-opening again and again. The deeper we go into self-love, the deeper our ability to open our hearts to all the amazing people in our lives. I am so grateful for the amazing, positive, nourishing connections I've cultivated in the last few years that have made this a constant process. I love you.

30-5ive.

1. Corte Madera Creek for providing me with such fulfillment every day. I love exploring new places, but it also feels good to have found one steady place to go on my walks & get to know it, develop a relationship with it.

2. The Buddha altar that someone set up at the creek. It's become the location of almost daily prayers for me lately & has provided a strong, grounded, safe place for me to release what no longer fits & set intentions for what's coming next.

3. Prayers of release. One prayer in particular this week was exceptionally powerful & I could feel instant shifts rippling through my life for the next week. An answer I had been seeking was finally ready to reveal itself to me. Beautiful, divine flow.

4. The Soulmate Experience. My friend Mali & Joe share such a beautiful soulmate connection & share it with the world in the form of their fb site and a soon to be published book. Amazing light beings of love showing me that what I have been looking for really exists.

5. Wild fennel smells intoxicatingly wonderful.

6. Nourish taking shape. One of my side passion projects that has been hit with a hiccup has picked back up and is taking shape in the most beautiful & delightful way. I cannot wait to share it with the world.

7. Good goddess conversation. I am so grateful for all the beautiful women in my life who I resonate & connect with on deeper levels. The goddess bond grows stronger each day.

8. Raw tiramisu is delectable. Thank you, Cafe Gratitude.

9.Great work environments with good people. I am really loving my current temp assignment. Everyone is so nice & friendly and the environment is lovely.

10. Free lunch twice a week, plus leftovers. Helping me tackle project debt elimination. Progress is being made.

11. Gorgeous boat commutes. It's so peaceful to ride the ferry to work in the mornings, spending 30 minutes gliding over the words gazing at the gorgeous land masses. And the ferry terminals are both so close to my home & this current job.

12. Saying no, especially to things I really just don't want to do. Eliminating distractions from my soul purpose feels so good. I've gotten so much better at this the last few years. There was a time when I always said yes & helped everyone all the time & never gave enough to me. I am glad those days are gone & no doesn't feel like a dirty word anymore. Now it's a way to empower myself to live the best life ever.

13. Back in the zen garden. I used to work across from this gorgeous garden in Levi's Plaza and spent my lunches basking in the sun, watching hummingbirds & soaking in the beauty of life. My new job is right next to it.

14. The cyclical nature of life. It's funny that the Universe places me across from my old job to heal that situation. My old boss there was verbally abusive & even though getting fired right when I had put it out to the Universe that I wanted to quit was the best thing that ever happened to me, I still had a foul taste left in my mouth. I took serious issue with the lack of ethics or respect for civil rights in that place & how to them it really was all about money. But I got closure this week in seeing that I am so happy with my life & they all still seemed so stressed out, miserable & chasing after something that will never fill them up. That foul taste got replaces with compassion & gratitude for having been released from that kind of environment.
15.
15. Moving Center School work-trade. I'm now a member of the crew for my beautiful 5 Rhythms dance community. I'll be working at Sweat Your Prayers a few times a month and crewing at The Moving Center School workshops in exchange for lots & lots of free and reduced dancing.

16. Deepening my commitments to this dance path feels so natural & right. This movement medicine has changed my life and helped me heal in so many ways. I cannot even express the gratitude I have for this beautiful way of praying & growing & for the beautiful welcome I have received from this community. It feels so good to be taking things to the next level, deepening in my practice and connections with these beings.

17. Lori & Kathy who are masters of this work. Their teachings have lit up my life, given me so much, helped me through so many big shifts in my life.

18. This beautiful body. I have never felt as comfortable in my body has I have this year, so full of love, appreciation & commitment to loving it & taking care of it. It is a marvelous machine & I hope it lasts until I am 100 at least. :)

19. Imogen Heap for being so amazing & filling the world with beauty. I've been addicted to finding beautiful dubstep remixes of 'Hide and Seek' lately:


20. Ingrid Michaelson for a beautiful song that breaks my heart & fills it back up again:


21. Trentemøller for so many delicious songs, but especially this one:

thirty-four.

1. 5 Rhythms for bringing such profound healing into my life time and time again. I was awarded a scholarship to attend the latest 3 day workshop, entitled 'The Relationship Dance' and am still riding the wave of bliss. This movement medicine is one of the most amazing things in my life, and I am grateful every time I get to dance with my community.

2. Scholarships for making it possible for me to attend several events this year that I would not have been able to afford otherwise. The Universe is always providing!

3. Partners. So many different beings out there, each one brought into our lives for a reason. I had so many amazing partner dances this weekend that taught me so much about myself & relationship, and brought so much joy into my life.

4. Clarity. This workshop also gave me a lot of clarity on my last relationship and the lessons that teacher had for me. I am grateful for all that I am learning in this process of intimate unfolding. It suits me well to be so open with my heart.

5. Hafiz. I love Rumi just like everyone else, but Hafiz also holds an extra special place in my heart. He makes my soul melt into a giant puddle of bliss with every line.

6. Blindfold dancing. It wasn't exactly a trance-dance, but we did this exercise where we danced blindfolded, alone & with a few different partners for several songs. I feel like it's definitely something to integrate into my next partnership when difficulties arise - put the blindfolds on, turn the music up, and dance together until the energy dissipates and you can see things from a fresh perspective.

7. Connection. Another beautiful exercise was dancing around the room, stopping in front of new sets of eyes and energetically sending love, peace, healthy and the ability to move through life with ease to all these amazing souls. So much more can be said without words, it's true. This energetic connection of looking into one another's eyes is so powerful.

8. Comedies. Laugh medicine has also been big in my life lately.

9. Redwood hot tubs. Nothing like coming home from 6 hours of dancing & plopping right into the hot tub outside your bedroom to watch the sunset over the mountains. So grateful for my backyard oasis!

10. Community. I just always feel so full of love & so overflowing whenever I dance with my community. I can't explain it, it's like an energetic family where words are rarely spoken.

11. Dating. Been really needing to just go out on dates & explore my options again and enjoy the newness of other men. While I miss the wild chemistry & deep connection I had with my last guy, it is nice to just explore & be open to whatever wonderful thing is headed my way next.

12. Buddhas by the creek for giving me a beautiful place to pray on my sunset walk today. I love discovering new sacred nooks & look forward to the manifestation of this prayer, as I know it is already on it's way.

13. Barnes & Noble for being the modern day library, with tea. I'm not much for corporate chains, but you have no idea how much research I've gotten done at these places on my travels!

14. Purging. Sometimes it comes out in tears, sometimes laughter, sometimes yawns...I find peace in knowing that whatever needs to come out of us always finds a way when we allow it.

15. Vulnerability for allowing us to connect & open our hearts truly & fully to others, laying everything open in our sacred connections.

16. Intimacy. It's what keeps me dancing this beautiful dance of relationship. I love that closeness of knowing someone deeply, sharing private moments of joy, ecstasy, love, tenderness, and beauty, the Oneness that it brings to us.

17. Raspberries for being so fresh & delicious. I love summer.

18. Financial stability. It feels nice to have stabilized my income again after a year of traveling & coming back to start my own business. It's been a struggle but I am happy to be back on track with operation debt removal!

19. Opportunity. I love how we always have a choice to make something an opportunity to love more, to open more, to be of service, to stretch ourselves, to grow, etc. Life is so very different when you view things as opportunities instead of misfortunes. So different!

20. Moonbathing. Luna woke me up at 4am for a little eclipse moonbath that lasted forever. It felt nice to just lounge in bed in the glow.

21. The Unknowing for keeping life a mystery to me every day. So magical, so beautiful, so full of surprise as it all unfolds in the most perfect way.

30-three

1. Magic sunsets over the wetlands preserve. Everything was hot pink & purple and reflecting in the water full of ducks. My almost-daily sunset walks near bodies of water are one of the most important rituals in my life - so vital to my soul.

2. Jasmine blooming all over the path filling the night-time air with deliciousness.

3. Credo Mobile for sending me a new free phone just because they felt it was time for an upgrade.

4. Chai tea for still being something I am always grateful for, even after all these years of dedicated drinking.

5. Super manifesting. I had several incidents today of having the Universe deliver exactly what I was wishing for just minutes after I put it out there that I wanted it. I love when I am tapped into this flow to receive!

6. Completed statements of intent. I have not yet figured out how to not get stuck on them, but I will soon. And having someone sit right next to you to talk about them as you write them definitely helps the process. Thank you, Lauren!

7. Feeling ready to dive in! I've had a few projects on hold the last few months & it feels good to finally dust them off, move past the fear and take the next steps. This has been my most productive week in ages on 3 different projects.

8. Creating your own income is amazing. It was easy to start the chocolate company because I was still temping a lot, but the closer I get to sustaining myself more & more on my own talents, the scarier it gets. But once you unblock the fear and move forward, nothing is more rewarding. Here's to multiple streams of income!

9. White nectarines are the most delicious things I have eaten today. Fresh local stone fruits galore. Mmmm.

10. Books. Something else I have felt grateful for pretty much every single day since I was a child. I love the way they smell, the way they feel, the way they look on shelves and the power they have to transform your day into a magical adventure, or to transform your entire life if you let them.

11. Zoe Keating for being one of my biggest musical inspirations. This forest cellista is truly amazing. I cannot wait til I've mastered my strings enough to get looping.

12. Fleece socks. Sometimes it really is the little things.

13. Coconut milk. In a smoothie, or a chai latte, added to cooked veggies, in cereal - the options are endless!

14. Manzanita trees, especially the one right outside my little glass bedroom walls.

15. Blueberries are in season, which means local, organic & cheap all fall in line!

16. Sunrise. Was awake for my first one in awhile and the hills of Marin were even more stunning than usual. I love living here.

17. Dresses. Totally adore wearing them & skirts every day if possible. It feels good to be back in my normal body & feel super sexy in my old clothes that were waiting for me to heal.

18. Kiehl's for giving me a gazillion free samples to play with. I'm digging the Amazonian clay.

19. Chick flicks. I hadn't watched one in the longest time, but this afternoon when I couldn't nap, it was just the perfect brainless thing to keep me company while resting.

20. Herb dreams. Since I put off herb school because I wanted to get my finances completely in order this year, I've been daydreaming a lot about all the fun stuff I will be able to make when I finally do go. It makes the delay pass with more ease & I have a longer time to be excited about it.

21. Cute guys. Especially ones who like organic food, and are just so open. Marin is full of them & I am loving the energy.

thirty-two.

1. Moonbeams that dance their way through the skylight & glass walls of my bedroom to play on my face as I drift into dreamland.

2. Amazing friends that receive all this love I have pouring out of me, and then give me some of theirs on top of it. It's a beautiful reciprocation system we've got going on, expanding infinitely as we lift each other higher & higher.

3. An attitude of gratitude that makes it so much easier to cut away the unnecessary places we invest our energy - places like worry, anxiety, unhappiness, judgement, and stress. When you focus on your blessings, those other places are released and you make room for trust, love, joy, bliss, compassion & freedom. So beautiful, this transformation process.

4. Paper Source for helping me rock out some truly beautiful handmade packaging for my chocolates.

5. Forgiveness is one of the most magical medicines for your heart. Use it as often as possible for your own sake.

6. Soundcloud for making it easier for all my friends to share their latest mixes with me. Aural pleasure.

7. Rosewater for being one of the purest, most delicate scents & flavors.

8. Shooting stars. Saw my first one of the summer tonight. Perfect way to celebrate the solstice & make a wish.

9. Sandrita who has brought so much joy & positivity into my life. So beautiful to have friends like this who really live a path of the heart & see your truest self.

10. Money manifesting. So much wealth coming my way. I'm so grateful for having transformed my relationship with money from one of disgust & lack to one of love & gratitude. Keep it flowing.

11. The Scoop. Local, hand-made honey-lavender ice cream around the corner. That's all I'm sayin'.

12. Resolve. Some things need to run their course for awhile before we absorb all the lessons, but when we finally reach that place of open, loving acceptance for all that is, there is nothing like it.

13. Geico for having the most amazing customer service on the planet. And such amazing claims adjusters!

14. Spring water hunting. Went to check out a new spring early this morning in Calistoga with Lauren and had the best start of a day ever.

15. Bookstores with cafes for being the new library. I got so much research done today.

16. Summer. After several years of living in SF & having it be chilly until late August, it's nice living just north enough to experience what summer is really like. I missed it so much!

17. Creeks aplenty all over Marin. So many bodies of water to walk around & dip my toes in.

18. Wetlands preserves full of sunset reflections & birds. I found a new spot close by to make the new home of my daily walks - so peaceful & uplifting with a gorgeous view of Mt. Tamalpais.

19. The kindness of strangers always amazes me. I had just been thinking,"Man, our spring water bottles are heavy & the car is far...I wish we had help" when a man showed up to fill his own bottles & he ended up carrying all of ours back to Lauren's car for us. Thank you, Universe!

20. Hindsight for so many important lessons I'm now able to integrate.

21. Present moment awareness. What else is there, really? It feels so good to be feeling back to normal, balanced between the heart, soul & mind and just being aware of each beautiful moment.

3irty-one

1. Street parties. Especially the ones where I can sell chocolate under Aztec murals & listen to the Dj mixing old school Slick Rick and Soul of Mischief.

2. Vitamin D. All that sunshine makes me so happy.

3. The local underground food scene. I love being a part of this community. All these underground food events full of handmade hustlers make me grin. And how we support each other & pool together for the benefit of everyone never ceases to amaze me.

4. Keeping busy has been so vital to feeling good lately as it keeps me out of my mind & into LIFE.

5. La Victoria for supporting & nourishing the local community. This place has amazing events.

6. The job that is coming. I know it's on it's way and I know it's going to be good for me on so many levels.

7. Obstacles removed. Got a lovely offer to sell my chocolate at a spot in SF & use their commercial kitchen clout, something that's prevented me from moving on all the requests from store buyers. Now I'm one step closer...

8. Homemade dream catchers made from objects found in nature. Thanks, Jesse - I love it!

9. Fitting my college clothes after all this time is priceless. It makes me feel so good about myself to have fully reversed the metabolism portion of thyroid issues. One major step forward!

10. Coconut oil is magic. Good for your skin, good for your thyroid gland, good for your hair & scalp, good for your belly.

11. Palo Santo burning in my room. Scenting it up with some sacredness is always good.

12. The Haight is just always fun for a little window shopping. Especially all the Tibetan, Himalayan & Indian shops full of little spiritual goodies.

13. The Grateful Bowl at Cafe Gratitude, making it possible for raw foodists to eat out for cheap when we're broke.

14. Reiki. I became a reiki practitioner last month and it's seriously been rocking my world. Being a conduit for Universal Life Force energy is amazing...feeling it running through your palms to heal others is some seriously intense love at work. I definitely notice the difference on the days when I make the time to give myself a session and am looking forward to making it a more frequent part of my self-love practice.

15. Anna. I met her through a shamanic journeying group and instantly adored her. She's a kindred spirit for sure, and is now my reiki instructor. She's so positive, energetic, loving, enthusiastic and just open. I'll be volunteering at the reiki clinic she's put together in SF starting in July.

16. The internet for speeding up the process. And for helping me find the answers. Always.

17. Applied Kinesiology. The woman I am doing structural work with is amazing. She uses kinesiology, chiropractic adjustments and NeuroEmotionalTechnique (NET) to ask the body what is going on, correct the alignment issues in the nervous system & clear old emotions that are stored in our cells.

18. My intuition for telling me that there was a structural component to my healing path that was missing. It also guided me to raw foods & a ton of other healing in the past and has steered me away from some unsafe situations in the past when I've chosen to listen to it fully. And the more I listen, the sharper it gets and the more guidance I receive.

19. Spring Water fresh from deep within the Earth's aquifers. I love going out in nature and collecting it from the source and meditating with it for awhile. Such a beautiful experience.

20. The local library for having such an amazing collection of spiritual books and for being less than a mile away.

21. Skylights. Going to sleep staring at the stars is something truly special, and when you can't camp, looking right above your bed is the next best thing.

30.

1. Ecstatic Dance medicine. I am so grateful for my local conscious dance community full of people looking to enjoy life naturally without drugs & alcohol. A night full of beats, bass and dancing with cute boys is always a good time in my book.

2. Beautiful invocations. This man I always run into at Cafe Gratitude did the most amazing invocation at Ecstatic Dance last night talking about our perfection, our beauty. It put us all into a trance with its power.

3. Little altars everywhere. It's not just my personal altar at home that gives me the prayers & medicine I need - it's the altars I see in other people's homes, the altar at the sweat lodge & ceremonies I go to, the altars at 5 Rhythms and Ecstatic Dance, the little altars in nature made by hikers and meditators and the little city street altars constructed by homeless people. I love this constant reminder of our natural state of gratitude and love for what feels good.

4. Sparkly eyes. I love when I have days so magical that my eyes are extra sparkly and full of bliss. Self-love floods in me and out of me and my whole body buzzes.

5. Sunshine filled rooms. The skylights & glass walls of my room means it's sunny in here from 6am til 9pm and I could not be happier about that.

6. Silent expressions. One of my favorite things about the conscious dance events is that there is no talking. You communicate with others solely through dance, your energy, your heart and your radiant smiles. I love that I can sometimes dance so intently with a stranger, have this intense connection, and never ever know their name. It's beautiful.

7. Tinctures. So many plants, so many ways to decoct, dilute and learn how to use them as medicine. I can't wait for herb school next year!

8. Coconut yogurt is fermenting in the kitchen. Yum. It's so nice to have even better things fill the place of the dairy products that have left my life.

9. Scholarships. I just got a scholarship from the Moving Center School for the next part of the 5 Rhythms workshops I've been doing. This one explores the ultimate spiritual practice - relationship. "Friends, lovers, parents, children — they take us to heaven and take us to our knees." I am so excited to continue on my dancing path! I also got another scholarship for a Women's Leadership program in the wilderness of Washington, but more about that later.

10. Garden space. My flatmate, permaculture goddess extraordinaire that she is, showed me where there is still some room in the garden for planting so I can grow some lettuces & berries. The whole time I was traveling & working on organic farms, I kept focusing my intentions on finding a home with some space to grow my own food and now it's finally here!

11. Kale magic. Permaculture goddess flatmate also said their kale is producing enough extra for me to have some fresh greens from their patch of eARTh every day.

12. Waking up before the alarm clock always gives me that feeling of living on natural time & having the world to myself for a little while before I begin the day. I cherish these days.

13. Chocolate love makes me smile. I am so grateful for this never-ending stream of beautiful foodie events in SF that allow me to grow my raw chocolate business at a steady, organic pace. Doing work where you get to see rewards in the form of ecstatic looks on people's faces as they eat your wares is so fulfilling and makes my heart soar.

14. Singing. When I was younger, I had a really beautiful voice, but as the thyroid shifted further out of balance, it seemed to disappear & I kept wondering where my voice went, why my singing sounded so awful. Last year I learned that singing is one of the best medicines for hypothyroidism, as it raises the vibration of your 5th chakra, healing your body. I would sing more in the car than normaml, and though I wanted to make it a daily practice, I kept getting distracted & simply wasn't making time for it. Then last week, the curandero asked me to sing in the ceremony, a very huge honor I did not feel ready for. I tried, but I totally choked in this paralyzing fear in my mind instead of being present to the opportunity to heal in ceremony, but the message became clear through him that if I were to simply unlock my voice from this thyroid blockage and use singing as my medicine, I would heal this. Ever since then I have been singing daily, and my voice is slowing coming back to life. :)

15. Baby-tainment. My flatmates adorable little baby girl, Sage has been the perfect audience for me. Since I am not yet comfortable singing in front of groups of people, I practice singing to her. She gets so quiet and enamored by the sounds and her face lights up, which brings me more joy and helps me sing even more comfortably, which brings her more joy, and so on. It's a win-win situation.

16. Chickweed concoctions fresh from the wilderness outside. This one had some honey, lemon, cayenne, sprouts & pure water. I love wild plants!

17. Fiddles & cellos. I had my first lessons in both last year and am equally in love with both, but a violin is more travel-ready so I'm going to focus my intentions on manifesting one of those first, then when I have gotten pretty good, I can move on to other instruments. But my love affair with strings & drums runs deep, deep, deep.

18. Life. Always eternally grateful for this one, every single day of mine. It's short - make the most of it, don't get caught up in stuff that doesn't resonate and brings you down and just follow your bliss!

19. Camping season is my favorite season! I am so amazed at how no matter how many different places I go, I still have barely seen a fraction of all the nature in this state - there is such an abundance of beauty here.

20. Trust is one of my favorite tools. Whenever I remember to trust that everything always works out exactly as it's supposed to, my life just flows and everything falls into place.

21. Love. There is so much of it in this world. My heart today is flooding over with all the love from so many wonderful people in my life.

twenty-9ine

1. Healing paths. When I got back from my travels, I spiraled back into the thyroid illness that had taken over my life for about 13 years. I had 2 years of healing bliss, the most amazing life ever, and now I've dipped back in to uncover more and create something even better. This journey has taken me to so many places within, shown me so much, illuminated beauty I never knew existed. It is challenging to not feel well, for sure, but I know this is only to heal at a deeper root level and when I do, things will be even more amazing than those last 2 years of bliss.

2. My little glass home. I finally moved out of the city to the lovely, progressive, eco-conscious, spiritually open town of Fairfax and am living in the most beautiful house. My room has glass walls overlooking the permacultured garden & 2 skylights so I can watch the stars & planets wink at me as I drift off into dreamland. Outside, there is a Manzanita tree, redwood hot tub, hammock and a wonderful garden. A fox has scurried past my bedroom and there are always deer on the drive home. I may have to put off the community household for awhile because this place feels so right & and my flatmates and their baby girl, Sage, are wonderful. I need this kind of energy right now.

3. Plant medicines. I had the most profound healing of my life last weekend in ceremony with a lovely, soulful curandero. This plant path has been mine for some time, but it's becoming even more powerful and clear. I was able to get to the root trauma that caused this illness, an event from when I was a baby that I had no memory of, but which stored itself in my cells & subconscious. So much is coming to light to heal at this deeper level and I am so grateful for having cultivated this relationship with the plants over the years.

4. Relationships. They aren't always meant to last forever, but some of these short, intense ones are so chock full of really huge lessons and gifts necessary to get you to the type of relationship you really want & deserve. I keep getting closer and closer, perfecting the dance over time.

5. Lauren Henry. My dear spiritual cheerleader, always lifting me up higher. I am so grateful for us meeting a few years ago and deepening in our friendship. What a beautiful soul, what an expansive heart. What an amazing capacity to hold space and be love.

6. Raw/living food. It's the only thing that worked in 13 years to really make me feel better, and as I healed, I began to integrate more cooked foods. After these last few months of struggling, I've decided to listen to my intuition & renew my vows to it. With this vow renewal comes a second honeymoon - I am all excited about raw food again and this renewed enthusiasm is filling my heart & mind up with beauty.

7. 5 Rhythms has become a massive part of my healing path in the last year. This amazing practice is all about dancing your prayers, movement as meditation. We dance our emotions and see what comes up, then dance that and keep going on our own journeys, allowing ourselves to truly feel emotions in the body and transform them by moving through them. My local dance community is so supportive, so open, so loving. I have never been so comfortable in my body as now.

8. Pura Vida. For being what it is. I love it.

9. Vision Questing. I'd been wanting to go on a Vision Quest since I was a teenager, but back then thought it would never happen because I was a white girl. :) I'm so glad times have changed and these ancient, beautiful traditions are open to people of all cultures. My prayer was to finish healing this illness & step deeper onto my path as healer and my time on the hill brought me the information I needed to move forward with that.

10. Little fox. The morning after I got back from a really intense healing ceremony, a little grey fox with red-tipped fur slowly strolled past my glass bedroom doors. I love living more in harmony with nature.

11. People who tell you the truth. Because sometimes you just need to hear it from someplace outside yourself to really listen.

12. Berry season in Marin. I love all the local, organic produce in abundance everywhere. Summer smoothies are rocking my world!

13. Spirulina gives me a nice boost in my smoothies every day, helping me focus and feel good. Mmmm, green.

14. Betty. I truly have the best car ever. She's taken me on so many beautiful adventures.

15. New friends. When I travel, I make friends instantly, but I've noticed that when I'm in one place it takes more time to cultivate connections and I've had some seriously beautiful people enter my life since I moved to Marin.

16. Babies. So much magical, soothing energy in this house because of the little one. And I am filled with joy whenever I spend time with my friends children too. I'm so not ready for my own family just yet, but I can feel the time is coming soon.

17. Coconut milk. Do I really need to elaborate on that? Nope. :)

18. Waterfalls. There is one just a few miles from the house that I've been spending a lot of time hiking too. So soothing, so cleansing, so uplifting.

19. Donation-based bodywork rocks my world! Thanks to Alpha for a rocking 2 hour session in my backyard paradise. Serious shifts!

20. The Gift Circle. My town has a weekly gift circle, which is the community's attempt to move closer to a gift economy. We have dinner together, then go around the circle expressing first our needs that we would like to have met, and then the gifts we have to offer. It's beautiful to see these hearts pour out.

21. Gratitude journaling! I'd gotten so used to living full and total gratitude all the time, that I stopped journaling, but recently found myself back in some old patterns and am getting back to this daily practice that reminds me of how much beauty there is in my life.

20-eight

1. Love. I found a big, beautiful, sacred one.

2. Sacred Commerce I had the opportunity of attending another wonderful donation-based Cafe Gratitude workshop this month. So inspiring & full of grounding I needed after coming back from a year of travel. I'm diving right into my business pursuits.

3. The end of my travels. Although the initial comedown of spending a year on the road living the life of my dreams was really rough, I'm finally feeling grounded back in my life in California. It took a few weeks to embrace the fact that turbulence has accompanied every major life shift I've ever had and they have all led to the most amazing things. I can't wait to see what takes shape.

4. Instant manifestation is rocking my world. I just keep putting out to the Universe what I need from the bottom of my heart & it just keeps delivering it right to me. Sometimes within a few short minutes. I am still in awe over this.

5. Ceremony. I love my spiritual brothers & sisters who continue to enhance my life & help me crack my heart open wider & wider. So many beautiful faces in ceremony this weekend around the fire, sharing our love & good intentions.

6. Peyote babies. I love the innocent, joyful, loving energy children bring to ceremony This 2 1/2 year old kept running in circles around the fire, instilling it with his pure & beautiful energy. After sunrise, he showed me a picture he had drawn. When I asked him to tell me more about it, he pointed to the fire, the medicine & the Universe (a cluster of stars covering most of the paper) and I beamed. What a beautiful, tender moment.

7. The joys of starting a business. I started working on this before I left to travel & wrote most of my business plan while on the road this past year, but now I am home & really building it. I cannot explain how amazing it feels to start your own business & be able to set intentions every step of the way & not have to compromise my integrity for anyone or anything. This eco-conscious, socially responsible raw, organic, herbal chocolate company of mine is so in alignment with my soul & the healing work I've been doing, I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to the universe for conspiring to make it reality every step of the way. It's all love & the support from community has been outstanding.

8. Fairfax is a town just 17 miles north of San Francisco. I'd been spending so much time there before I left for my travels that I contemplated moving. It's just been calling me. And now that I am back, the Universe has been conspiring to make it my new home for sure. I love SF, but just need more nature, less buildings & people...I am excited to put together a community household with other kindred spirits.

9. Origin Collective. I went up to Fairfax for the first time since before my travels to walk around & make sure everything still felt right. The first thing I stumbled upon was a shop that had opened while I was gone - a collective of herbalists, raw foodists, creative lovers of life & overall positive, inspiring healers. I ended up staying and talking for an hour. I so can't wait to be more involved in what goes on in this space!

10. Rossella & Tim are the best temporary roommates a girl could ask for. Thank you so much for letting me into your beautiful home & giving me free shelter while I sort things out. And thank you, Tanya for letting me stay there in your absence. You have no idea how provided for I feel right now by you and the Universe.

11. The SF Underground Farmers Market is awesome! My friend Iso over at Forage SF started putting together a little market for all us underdogs who can't yet afford the fees at the commercial markets. I'll be selling delicious raw chocolates this week. Amazing food, music & free workshops? Man, it feels good to be back home in my food community!

12. Coastal smells that are one of the greatest things about being home. I can feel my lungs expand with each breath.

13. Green hills that are so lush & soothing. Ah, Northern California!

14. Bass therapy. So much dubstep soothing my soul these days. Bass has always had a special place in my heart.

15. The Ghost Brothers have been on constant repeat lately. Amazing, beautiful, Krishna rockers from Vancouver.

16. Old Victorian houses with all their built-ins, elaborate moldings, and untold stories.

17. Joy I don't know how it's possible for one person to have so much joy in their life, but I am so eternally grateful for each day that I wake up, able to experience another day full of it. Keep the abundance flowing.

18. Bees I took an intro to beekeeping course that blew my mind. I've been wanting to keep bees for eons & it feels good to be one step closer. Now I just need some land to keep them on. :)

19. Sweet street art. I've been seeing these really sweet stencils all around the Mission District about love & light. True expressions of the human heart. That's my kind of revolution. :)

20. Drumming that takes me deeper and deeper inside. This journey is infinite.

21. Oneness. It feels so good to tap into this infinite power of the Universe and know that we are all source.