21 blessings

forty-six.

2011-11-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I posted on here...I've been grateful for so much in the last 10 months, but have been too out of online mode to keep things up to date here. It's been a really beautiful lifetime. Some of the amazing things from the last year:

1. Dancing Freedom. Starting last February, I began training to facilitate this amazing somatic/shamanic dance. I finished my training up in August & am now a certified facilitator. I feel so fulfilled leading this dance work & plan to take it around the world.

2. Teaching. It feels so good to carry this dance medicine out into the world to hold space for others to do their own inner work. I am so grateful for witnessing people's breakdowns on the dance floor - I know it's leading them to a breakthrough & it is such an honor & privilege to create the container for people to do that.

3. Mt. Shasta. Several of the dance training modules were up at Mt. Shasta, so I got to spend almost a full month's time up at the mountain over the course of the past year, soaking up it's earth chakra energy. So powerful.

4. Being in my power. Last year I was stepping into it, this year I am being in it. It feels so good to feel so confident, so strong, so powerful & in right relationship to leadership so that I can serve. I worked so hard to get here, to heal the things in my way & now that I am here it's so surreal. And right!

5. Living in an intentional community. This was something I was working on manifesting for awhile, and I eventually landed an extremely decadent home with 4 other conscious ladies, surrounded by opulence & beauty. We have a temple space for events & ceremonies, and are all united in holding space for the transformation of ourselves & others. It's everything I wrote down I wanted to manifest a year ago. Crazy.

6. AbunDANCE! Really got into a good flow of creating an abundance from only doing things I absolutely love for a rate that feels in alignment with what I am offering. Let go of the mental obstacles - it's so worth it. Just ask for what you want!

7. Being in financial integrity. Feels so good to finally have create the means to pay off old debts & begin saving again. Restoring financial integrity to my world is so powerful & makes everything flow so much better.

8. Life as ceremony. Life has taken on a feeling of sacred ritual in every single day. A lot of time is spent in ceremony, but it's the time between too - it feels so integrated. Grateful for these sacred ways & this good Red Road that have become so much of my life over the last few years.

9. Vision Quest #2 up on Mt. Shasta. This one was about giving birth to my life's work - what my soul came here to do. This Medicine Dance around the globe is so very clear to me now. Infinite gratitude.

10. Sharing my voice. Healed 20 years of hiding my voice! I now sing in front of people all the time - in ceremony, in sound healing events, at parties. And I feel fully confident & happy to share my gifts - gone is all the fear & insecurity. Confidence feels so good!

11. Learning to play instruments. Been drumming, plucking at the guitar & strumming the fiddle...a little bit at a time. I don't feel afraid to pick up anything & try it out anymore - in fact, I love it! Bring me the craziest most unfamiliar instruments you have. :)

12. Crystals. Been really deepening my connection to sacred geology this year & have amassed a wealth of special stones that have helped me so much. Love really is in the earth.

13. The Honeys. I seriously love my sisters here at Earth Honey Haven. Our house is one really amazing healing portal in the Oakland Hills.

14. Mold. I know, weird to be grateful for having something toxic in your room, but the mold incident was full of so many lessons, and provided for me in so many ways I couldn't see until a few months in. Always being provided for. All ways.

15. East Bay healings. I miss the unspoiled nature & beauty of Marin, but living in the east bay is feeding this social, artsy, cultural aspect of myself that was undernourished living in Marin.

16. Learning from both. I'm realizing that for long-term living, I need both - the miles of pristine nature AND the arts, culture, community of city life. So who knows where I will land - Vancouver/BC? New Zealand? Hawaii? I'm open right now.

17. Thomas & Juliette. 2 very special little beings that I have had the honor of being able to love & care for this year. Such amazing teachers & wisdom keepers, those tiny little beings.

18. Musical expansion. So much amazing music has blessed up my ears this year, whether live or on headphones. I cannot remember being exposed to so much beauty constantly in recent years. And I listen to a lot of good music :)

19. Friends. So many beautiful beings came into my life this year. Thank you, East Bay, thank you, dance.

20. Dancing Freedom soul family. Seriously so honored & grateful for my ever-expanding soul family that I connected with so deeply during all 3 trainings this last year. Infinite heart opening. I love you all.

21. Life just keeps getting juicier & juicier. I become more & more whole. My soul gets more fulfilled. I am doing all the things that were once only dreams. How did this happen? I stayed focused on my dreams, followed my heart, listened to my intuition, got out of my own way & let myself be guided. I think they call it faith.

40-5ive...blessings of 2010.

2011-01-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

So much gratitude for 2010's intensity - it made warriors of us all in its diligence to move so much energy through us for collectively. It was intense, and definitely not an easy year - an unhealthy relationship triggering me back into chronic illness to heal at the deep root level to fully reverse dis-ease, moving out of an urban area for the first time in 13 years to live closer to nature, transforming some remaining issues around fear & scarcity - but in the end, it was so powerful to go through all that & come out so bright & squeaky clean.

I am thankful to the Universe for giving me so, so many really powerful lessons that have shaped my life into an even more truly magical one. I have never felt so full of self-love, so confident about myself, so tapped in to my power & all the gifts I have to share with the world. I have never felt so self-accepting, so compassionate with myself, so worthy of the beautiful, loving, positive, happy friendships I have now. What beautiful reflections I have summoned to remind me of my divinity, my truth.

May Two-Thousand-and-a-lovin' be a year of gentle but powerful growth, alignment, grace and empowerment. I call forth the manifestation of all us heart warriors truly living of our wildest, most beautiful dreams. ♥

My gratitude list for the 2010:

1. Went on my first Vision Quest at Buck Rock.

2. Did my first firewalk on hot coals.

3. Became a reiki practitioner.

4. Got accepted into the California School of Herbal Studies to deepen on this medicine woman path.

5. Living in Marin, with the abundant nature, hot tubs & conscious dance.

6. Stepping into my power as a healer, scary as it was.

7. Connecting with the Goddess within & honoring myself more.

8. Relationship reflections leading me to fellow warriors of the heart.

9. Countless Peyote & Ayahuasca ceremonies that have helped me heal so much & expand my heart so openly.

10. Sacred Familia in all the places I have gone this year to sit in ceremony. Always family, always love.

11. 5 Rhythms workshops galore, deepening so very much on this healing dance path.

12. Burning Man - the best one so far! Really, truly amazing, calm, grounded & full of love.

13. Trust, which guided me through a year full of so much uncertainty. I had no idea I had the capacity to trust life so much, especially when it felt crazy.

14. Betty, the best sidekick a girl could have.

15. Growing my own food - that feels so good!

16. Deep friendships where I feel seen, held, supported & whole.

17. So many important lessons.

18. Saying goodbye to the old work paradigm for good & creating my own abundance.

19. Running my own raw chocolate business - delicious, fulfilling abundance.

20. Endless images of adventures captured by my camera.

21. West Marin, for being the most beautiful place I've ever lived so far.

forty-4

2010-12-25T13:03:00.000-08:00

1. The earth-based origins of this holiday season. So many origins to why we celebrate this time of year in the first place - in ancient Babylon, today was the fest of the son of Isis (Goddess of Nature & Magic) & was full of celebration, feasting & gift-giving. Pagans burned the Yule log in worship of Mithras, the Sun God. The Druids used the tree as a religious symbol, holding their sacred ceremonies while surrounding and worshipping huge trees. Live evergreen trees were often brought into homes during winter as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again. Evergreen boughs were sometimes carried as totems of good luck and were often present at weddings, representing fertility. In 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25. There is little doubt that he was trying to make it as easy as possible for pagan Romans (who remained a majority at that time) to convert to Christianity, without taking their feast days from them.

2. Random texts with Pagan references. I love having so many friends who just get it. :)

3. Native American Church songs always fill my heart with joy. I love walking the read road & am blessed to have this be a big part of my spiritual path.

4. Rain. It's the first time in years I've been rained out of my annual Christmas Day hike/feast, what has become my tradition of celebrating out in nature. But the rain is nourishing our eARTh, and the rainy season makes us that much more grateful when the sun shines again.

5. Candles are allowing me to make a backup plan & fill the house with light & have my own little ceremony of sorts as I stay dry & warm.

6. Mourning. Today I was thinking of my dear sweet teacher Durwin WhiteLightning who passed a little over a year ago. We just had a memorial tipi ceremony for him a few weeks ago & another layer of mourning has come to stir up my grief & sadness to be released & transformed into an open heart filled with gratitude for all he shared with us before he left this life. There is so much beauty in this process of honoring the dark emotions & all the treasure that is hidden down there.

7. Kaitiakitanga. This is the Maori concept that humans must be responsible guardians of the natural beauty surrounding us. I love this simple truth & all I am uncovering as I study their traditional culture in preparation for the New Zealand chapter of my life.

8. Envisioning the land I will one day own & live in community on feels so good & brings me closer to the reality on its way. I envision a biodynamic herb farm, a healing center, endless fields of lavender, a treehouse for me to dwell in, unique structures of all kinds - a beehive hut, a dome shaped sacred space for worshipping Oneness & all spiritualities. I am almost at the place to start sketching up some loose plans.

9. Treehouses. So magical. This dream I've had since I lived in NYC still lives in my heart & I know one day I will create it in my reality. I am very grateful that we get to co-create our lives as we want. Sleeping atop the tree protectors is such a beautiful thing.

10. Paid dog-sitting gigs are appearing to solve my housing situation & help me save money for herb school tuition. I am always being provided for - thank you, Universe.

11. Embracing the child within makes for a much easier, more magical adult life. Undo the programming, heal the wounds, get back to your dreams, your heart, your bliss, your awe - you will feel gratitude every single day, I promise.

12. Inspiration. Today I am feeling so inspired for music making. I love how this part of my life is growing - fiddle, unlocking my voice to restore it to its formal glory & the electronic part of creating - it's all so magical. I can't wait to see what unfolds when I am good enough at them all separately to put them together. I am grateful to be taking these next steps on my creative path.

13. Newness. Fully embracing all that is being released, letting the old go to make way for the new. This next year is going to be the best ever - I know it.

14. Yoga is the perfect indoor remedy to being rained out of my annual Christmas day hike. Yoga in front of the fireplace to be exact. Thank you, body for holding me in physical form. Oh, it feels so good to take care of you & love you in this way.

15. Fresh Spring Rolls fully of yummy raw veggies, dipped in peanut sauce. Fresh, clean lunch.

16. Cheri Huber for teaching me to have compassion for myself, no matter what. I have come back to her over & over again over the last few years. You can check her out here.

17. The perfection of us. We are all perfect exactly as we are - that is the truth. The illusion of separateness is dissolving on a global level & all of humanity is starting to remember that we are all one. It is such an exciting time to be alive.

18. Wind chimes in the breeze are such a sweet medicine on this day.

19. Heat. Grateful to be warm & comfortable on this wet, cold day.

20. Feather trees on the altar decorated with nature...definitely a beautiful, earthy twist on Christmas.

21. The heart. It is the only way, this way. Through, through, through. We all know it from birth, we are taught to go other ways, but this is the path that always leads us home no matter what.

40-three

2010-12-24T23:50:00.000-08:00

1. Increasing New Zealand synchronicities every single day since the wellness & dance retreat we are putting together was birthed. This dream from a few years back is being called into being & the Universe is affirming, yes, it's time. The last sync in the chain - another dear sister today shared her dream of swimming with the whales next fall, so the timing might sync up perfectly for right after I finish the herbal studies program at CSHS.

2. Goddess In Us. I have been feeling an intense surge of the Divine feminine surfacing from within me - strong, wise, powerful & grounded. I am feeling more clear & confident than ever before, more deeply in touch with my inner wisdom than ever before, so full of trust. It is time to stop calling forth goddess energies from the outside & realize she is in all of us.

3. Solstice Full Moon Eclipse for being so mesmerizing & powerful. Calling in the light this year was especially powerful & all that I called in & set intentions for instantly began stirring up my pot to release all that no longer serves & make room for all that I have called in for this next phase of my life.

4. Learning to control my energy & slowly mastering the tools I have...the awareness to notice when I've let something hook in & the ability to reframe, shift & bring myself back up. It's been a few years of re-patterning & doing this work and I still feel as if I am only just beginning to understand how to work with energy.

5. Annual Cafe Gratitude Christmas Party was big fun. Spent time with my community, met some new folks, enjoyed some eye candy & a free massage. It was a sweet evening.

6. Herbal facials are one of the sweetest natural ways to pamper yourself. Some great recipes here or you can buy a sweet herbal facial sampler kit from Mountain Rose here. Step up the self-care because you love you.

7. Quiet solitude. Really grateful to have the house to myself tonight to exhibit radical self-care & pampering with an amazing dinner, herbal facial, reading & meditation.

8. Owl songs. While taking my almost daily hike at sunset, two owls began singing to each other. Then the crashing ocean waves chimed in as the chorus. It was a beautiful, syncopated moment. I am so grateful for this planet full of miracles.

9. Friends. Really loved connecting with one of my goddesses tonight. Such a sweet soul, an amazing listener & a wealth of wisdom and strength. I love you, Dheva.

10. Wild blueberries frozen from this summer are so perfect in smoothies right now.

11. Balance. This year was intense & up & down and all over. So much deep, inner work & healing, but also so many amazing new things in my life. I am calling in a gentler, more balanced year for two-thousand-and-a-lovin'

12. Intention setting for the year has already begun. Mine consists of really devoting myself to my herbal studies program in spring; calling in a healthy, nurturing partnership now that I have integrated the lessons of my last relationship; beginning the planning for an event in New Zealand and hopefully traveling to Serbia & Croatia with my parents during the 2 week break between semesters.

13. Warriors. While I was doing my intention setting & calling in the new year, I got very clear on the fact that what I am looking for in partnership, besides a loving, gentle, compassionate soul, is someone who is as much of a warrior in doing their work as I am - someone who is already doing their work on their own, someone who is as dedicated to showing up as unconditional love as I am. I am ready for someone who is on the same page, at a similar place in life with their path so that we can do the work together & create our relationship as a safe place for our spiritual growth.

14. Blood orange season is one of the most delicious times of year.

15. Magical manifestations! It is so, so, so amazing looking back at what my intentions were a year or two ago & seeing how many of them I have called into being - the year of travel exploring community, starting a raw, organic chocolate company, herb school, deepening in ceremonial work, immersing myself deeper in dance, creating community, stepping onto my path as healer, reversing a disease, vision questing, fire walking. Even though it was a rough year, the magic & beauty far outweigh the rest.

16. Letting abundance in lights up my soul. I woke up to a bunch of random chocolate orders all at once & it just made my day to see the fruits of letting go & simply allowing money to come in from doing things I love & enjoy. This is going to spread to cleanses & reiki in the next month for sure.

17. The herbal tribe growing & sprouting up all over. I love connecting with radiant beings over our love for the plant nation & all its magic.

18. Mystery. It's so great to have things just come up in life & not know why they have appeared & just be open to seeing what happens without any attachment. Surrendering & allowing the unfolding...

19. Kirsten another goddess friend in Canada. We have so many syncs about the kind of land we want to buy, living in community, building a healing center, shamanism, dance medicine & so much more...I am calling in the Universe to support her wanting to move out west to BC or Cali. I wonder if we will one day end up living in community together.

20. Looking back. I'm all for staying present to what is, but I've really been enjoying posting my travel photos a year after I've returned. It's been a sweet reminder of all I have done with this life so far & reaffirms where I am headed.

21. Kombucha for its sweet, medicinal buzz.

forty-2

2010-12-16T22:11:00.000-08:00

1. Major shifts are occuring. I am stepping deeper into my power, letting go of a lot of hold fears & limitations that have kept me from creating my full income from my gifts. I have been chiseling away at this one piece by piece over the years, have started my own company & have made a lot of progress, but these fears & limitations have kept me from doing it for 100% of my income. I've always clung to a backup plan to keep me 'safe' which was essentially me giving away my power & letting fear rule. A lot is shifting. My healing practice is unfolding in the most beautiful way at last. I am ready to do everything I was born for.

2. Divine bursts of motivation took over me today as I realized that I once used to run straight towards my fears to create the best life ever. The last several months I've been waiting for them to go away, but today remembered to move through them is the only way, so I made a lot of progress getting ready to launch my new website for my healing practice. I'm consolidating all the small projects I've been doing for the last few years into one place. Feels so good!

3. Lydia one of my tribal clan in Austin, TX. Today we had such a beautiful talk about love, life, spirit, the usual. I am so blessed to have her reflection in my life. We are putting together a very special project for 2012 in New Zealand.

4. Special Projects! It feels so good to be all buzzing with creative thoughts from source about the retreat Lydia & I are creating for the 2012 lunar eclipse in New Zealand. We are blending all our shamanic work & passions together. It will be part cleanse & emotional work, part ceremony, part dance...I cannot wait to watch it unfold each step of the way.

5. Govinda for providing a fantastic soundtrack to get so much work done. Give a listen to that electronic fiddle magic:

6. Newness. I am so relishing every moment of giving birth to this next phase of my life - it's so fresh, exciting & mysterious.

7. Trust. Knowing with every fiber of my being that everything is unfolding absolutely perfectly, no matter the outcome. It all leads me exactly where I need to be all the time, this magical flow of life.

8. CSHS. I went to herb school yesterday to interview for one of the coveted Garden Apprenticeship slots in my program. It'll give me an additional 2 days in the garden with the plants, soaking up the massive wealth of knowledge the gardener has to share. I am so in love with this place. This next year of my life is going to be so beautiful - I'm so excited.

9. Dancing Freedom & Samantha Sweetwater. Her work is amazing & after all this time dancing 5 Rhythms, I am eager to train to teach something. Manifesting my way to the facilitator training on Mt. Shasta in a few months:

10. Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck is awesome. Even though I've know the pieces of my divine path/life's purpose/calling/right life & have been moving towards it, this book not only helps to reaffirm what I already know, but helps me put together the pieces in a more clearly defined way which is helping me move mountains.

11. Daily walks are back again. Oh, how I missed this sunset nature prayer ritual of mine. Life just isn't the same without it.

12. Winter in Northern California is gorgeous. I love this season - the rolling hills transform from their golden summer hues to the lush, deep green that make my soul soar. Everything is so ripe for life, the mushrooms are everywhere, the water is abundant.

13. New Zealand dreams. Before I left for my year of travel in the states, a dream began to take shape of WWOOFing in New Zealand at farms where I could get skilled in beekeeping & winemaking. Now with the retreat Lydia & I are putting together, it's finally getting called into being.

14. The Plant Nation for filling my life with splendor & awe over and over.

15. Free housing just keeps appearing, allowing me to save for my tuition. Thank you, Universe so always providing for me, miracle after miracle.

16. Free legal advice from a stellar lawyer. Thank you, Jerome, for helping me learn how to get my business stuff in order.

17. Dancing in the wilderness is such good medicine. When I become a dance facilitator, I will be taking the dance floor out to the forest regularly. Barefoot, grounded, natural. Mmmm.

18. Flow. Feels so good to just be on a roll with everything right now, constant motion, moving forward, expanding, flowing.

19. Bomb salads chock full of the best organic produce ever. Yum.

20. Crow medicine always on the trail. So much wisdom to be shared.

21. The land. I just love this planet so much. My heart comes undone with each hike, camping trip, adventure. Each tree pulls at my heart strings & willingly I give my love.

forty-one

2010-12-14T16:04:00.000-08:00

1. Tipi meetings. So many beautiful prayers, so much love, compassion, kindness, healing & radiance. I love this medicine & how it helps me in my life. I am so grateful for these ancient, native ways that have been such a huge part of my spiritual path these last few years. Mitakuye Oyasin!

2. Reminders from the Universe. I sat next to one of the sweetest, most heart-centered, compassionate, kind souls. There was nothing between us on an intimate level (and he already has a lovely wife), but I know he will become a dear friend, and it was a beautiful reminder of the 'kind' of man I deserve in my life, the kind of energy I am seeking in partnership - warm, open, compassionate, emotionally available, gentle. Sometimes we need these reminders that those things do exist so we can keep our hearts open & trusting to allow them to appear to us.

3. Learning to love your pains. When my back was cracking in the tipi & I wished the 10-year injury away, this same sweet brother reminded me,"You have to love your pains or else they grow stronger." Aho!

4. Morning dew. In the Mendocino morning dew, I saw an entire Universe being birthed on a piece of tree bark. So much life, so many living things taking shape to create a system.

5. Mushroom season is my favorite season! It's time to forage a ton of goodies to cook with this year. Chanterelles especially.

6. Free massages. At this last ceremony, I met another sweet brother studying Tibetan Medicine who gave me a wonderful massage to help my tense neck & shoulders that have been troubling.

7. Durwin WhiteLightning was one of the greatest teachers to have blessed my life. This ceremony was a memorial ceremony to commemorate the 1-year anniversary of his death. It was so beautiful to gather & celebrate his life & share all the gifts he had given us with each other. My heart is cracked wide open.

8. Amazing Grace has been my favorite song my whole life. I think I was on that ship when it came to be in a past life. I found out it was Durwin's favorite song too when someone asked me to sing it. I wonder if our souls recognized each other in this life from that ship. It would not surprise me.

9. Random acts of kindness. Another sweet brother at the ceremony gave me some beautiful peyote beadwork to keep - a necklace with green, hexagram plant - so auspicious for me to have as I begin the next stage of my medicine woman journey. Thank you, stranger.

10. Kiera for bringing tears to my eyes as she shared from her heart what an angel I have been in her life during her darkest hours. I am so grateful to have friend who see me, and to be able to hold space for them & love them exactly as they are. She is a gift.

11. Angel syncs. The next day I was having a tough time & remembered her words. I began to think of these angle wing tribal earrings I'd had my eyes on for awhile. I looked up and saw a sign that said "Golden Angel Jewelers" & decided it's time to step into my angel powers and own them. I've been needing a style change anyway :)

12. Sacred foods for helping us end ceremony is such a delightful way. I love these prayers, I love blessing what we put into our bodies, I love it all.

13. Tennessee Valley hikes are the perfect daily exercise while I'm staying in Mill Valley for a few weeks. It's one of my favorite hikes to the ocean, so beautiful.

14. Feasting bunnies. Yesterday while I hiked at dusk, I saw about 30 rabbits come out to feast on the grass at sunset. It was so sweet. I love these cycles of life.

15. New friends. I am just always meeting so many sweet, sweet souls. I love these connections, especially the ones I feel I will know a bit more, a bit longer. Blessed humans.

16. Ashwagandha root is godsend. I've been taking a tincture of ashwagandha, licorice, eleuthero, ginseng, gotu kola, hawthorn, astragalus & ginger that is simply magical. My adrenals are so very happy & supported.

17. Herb School! As it gets closer to the start of the 8-month herbalism program I have been accepted into, I am getting more & more excited, my heart is leaping with joy & I have a massive smile on my face every time I think about it. It's going to be amazing.

18. Garden Apprenticeship. Though I've already been accepted into the Herbalism program, I've also applied for one of the coveted Garden Apprenticeship slots which would give the opportunity to actually live on the land there, as well as 2 more days full of learning & spending time communicating with the plants. Tomorrow is my in-person interview & I am so excited to see the land again. It told me I had to live there.

19. Business transformation. The company I started, Earth Alchemy, is undergoing major transformation to shift from an herbal, raw chocolate company to a full-on herbal company selling tinctures, salves, medicines, teas, soaps, beauty care products, a new line of herbal chocolates & an infinite amount of herbal love. I am so excited for this expansion & transformation.

20. Forest stew. Time to make an amazing dinner of forest stew from some local mushrooms, venison & a ton of veggies. I love creating healthy, nourishing dishes!

21. Love. It is just overflowing in my life right now. I am feeling so grounded, so centered, so ready to shift so many things & move into this next stage of creating the life I've been dreaming about.

40. GiveThanks Day 2010

2010-11-25T18:24:00.001-08:00

1. Blood ties. My family is so far away on this holiday & I miss them so, so, so much. I love them so dearly. I am so infinitely grateful that I have a healthy, loving relationship with both of my parents & have reached the point in my life where I actually miss being around them on the holidays & find myself wishing I could afford to fly back east just for 3 days. It took my dad & I a long time, but we've been enjoying the last year & a half beautifully, and I feel as if I've only just begun to learn how to love & appreciate every moment with family.

2. Chosen family. We have the one we're born with, and then the one we choose. I am so, so, so grateful for the amazing tribe I've gathered around me. People who really & truly see me. People who love me unconditionally and show up in my life in the most positive, loving, kind ways. I feel like I have everything I've always wanted & deserved right now. Thank you, all of you. I love you.

3. Morning yoga is the best way I've ever started Thanksgiving! My friend Lizzy taught her first class this morning to a group of us...it was so perfect, so beautiful, so heart-opening. What better way to give thanks than this?

4. Community. I spent my day volunteering at Cafe Gratitude serving free Thanksgiving Day meals & in addition to spending time with some of the members of my chosen tribe, I also got to connect with other people in the local community. It was a giant lovefest.

5. Being of service especially on the holidays, just fills me up. Don't hide your heart from the world - giving is where it's at!

6. Raw pumpkin pie was the best part of my meal. Yum!

7. Abandoned meadows. Took a walk after dinner today and discovered that the stairs near up the hill from our house lead to a sweet little piece of land. From that far up, you can see all of town.

8. Living in Marin. Nature is all around me here. I have redwoods & waterfalls at my finger tips, deer as landmates, hummingbirds visiting for lunch. It fills me with such joy to live in one of the most beautiful places on eARTh.

9. Warm spicy chai keeping the frost out on this blustering day.

10. Mother Earth for blessing us in so many ways. What sweet perfection, sufficiency, balance...I am full of awe every single day.

11. The best naturopath ever has been helping me reverse hypothyroidism for the last few years. His guidance + my intuition + divine downloads from the Universe = kickass healing team. Tomorrow we get to focus on my gut & hormones, the remaining puzzle pieces.

12. Reversing a disease has been the most amazing thing I think I've ever done in my life. The 'Path of the Wounded Healer' has been so intensely beautiful & amazing & getting sick was actually the best thing that ever happened to me. Through this, I discovered the real, authentic me inside. My thyroid labs are coming out clean, and once we get the rest of my hormones & gut issues tackled, I will be living in a 100% balanced & healthy body. I'm almost there!

13. Herb School. A few months ago, I got accepted to the California School of Herbal Studies & today am polishing off my application for one of the coveted Garden Apprenticeships which will enable me to spend even more time playing in the dirt, talking to the plants & learning from them. May it be so.

14. Team Goddess. I have sooooooo many amazing women in my life these days. I have no idea how they assembled or when I called them all into my life, but I am in awe at how loved, supported & held I feel by all the ladies in my life who have held space, prayed for me, prayed with me, sat in ceremony with me, send me words of encouragement, reminded me who I am & have just shown up as beautiful reflections. I love all of you.

15. Recommendation Letter Pam-Anela, an old coworker of mine is one of the sweetest, most generous beings. Thank you to her & Chris King (another recent coworker) for writing me letters of recommendation for the Garden Apprenticeship program.

16. Luna. This month's blue moon energy was intense. I am so glad when I look up into the night sky & see our sweet dear Luna basking her light down on us, guiding us through the darkness.

17. Avasa & Matty Love for singing songs of love & beauty. A married couple in my gratitude clan, they folks are on fire with creativity & inspiration. Avasa has the voice of a goddess, for real & Matty knows just how to balance it. Check their music out here.

18. The voice of the heart always whispering the way to go, steering us towards our highest good.

19. Candles that keep me warm, that give me a focus when I am praying at my altar, that bathe me in their light & help me connect with the Divine.

20. Tears that cleanse away our pains, our fears, our sorrow, our grief, always allowing everything to flow out so we can make room for more love, more beauty, more good.

21. Generosity. An amazing video from the Charity Focus gang, some of my local heroes:

30-nine

2010-11-24T15:31:00.001-08:00

1. All women's sweat lodge. After years of practicing the native ways & participating in numerous sweats, tipi meetings & a vision quest, I finally found a local women's sweat lodge! I love co-ed prayers, but there is something so sweet & nourishing about praying together with other women. The beauty makes my heart smile. And it's only 5 minutes from home.

2. The Universe for reliving me again and again of things that no longer serve me. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

3. Self-love going deeper and deeper than I ever imagined was possible. I can see how the love for myself I discovered a few years ago was only the beginning. This love affair has so much terrain to cover in each lifetime. I am so grateful to know myself, every intricacy, every crevice of beauty & divinity.

4. Deepening. Healing my relationship with my dad almost 2 years ago was just the beginning. Now I get to go deeper & deeper in healing, letting go of the programming, unlearning the negative self-talk, deepening in healthy habits, deepening in love. I love this human journey!

5. The beautiful Blue Moon for casting a whee bit of the chaos of change on us to stir things up and get us present.

6. The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist is one of the most amazing books I have ever picked up. I've been slowly digesting it over the last few months, a chunk at a time. It's so full of the abundance medicine I need right now.

7. Serendipitous card readings. I had a momentary freakout about earning herb school tuition in time, and then went to Cafe Gratitude for some love medicine. Some nights, a local Wicca gives free card readings, so I pulled a card - The Lovers, pointing to the karmic connection that is stirring up the financial issues calling to be healed at this time.

8. Wheatgrass apple ginger tonic in a wine glass was the perfect pampering medicine after releasing so many emotions. I am healing, I am healed.

9. Amma. I feel so blessed to live so close to Amma's ashram & to be able to get hugs & love from her so often. This time I wasn't feeling the desire to mess with the chaos, so found a beautiful little nook to nest in during service. I cocooned myself, and as the music played & everyone sang, I melted into a giant love puddle & became one with the floor. Thank you, Ammachi!

10. Dheva for her radiance, beauty & love. For holding space & always being there for me. I love you, dear sweet friend. So glad you are in my world this lifetime.

11. The infinite lessons from my 2-month housing situation: do not settle, don't convince yourself to stay in ANY situation that is anything less than positive, loving & supportive. Let go & make space for what you want to enter your life.

12. Surrender. So grateful for learning my own strength by allowing energy to move through me. Simply accepting & allowing is the way.

13. Reiki clinic seva. I donated several hours of healing work at the SF Reiki Clinic and it just felt so yummy & juicy to be doing healing work on people who are stepping up their level of self-care. The client feedback I got reminded me why I do this work & how many lives I am capable of changing. So excited for more of this work! I hope one day I can facilitate a clinic up here in Marin.

14. Anna Dorian my beloved reiki teacher. I went to a shamanic journeying group one night & met her. I had been putting it out to the Universe that I was ready for an energy healing teacher to move forward on my path & was instantly enamored with her bright, radiant energy, laughter & love so knew she was it. Then shortly after, a spot opened up for me to do study with her last spring & become a practitioner.

15. Allowing things to unfold naturally. Trust, trust, trust.

16. Floradix herbal iron love that is so helping my body.

17. May I Be Frank is my friend Ryland's film. It documents the transformation of Frank Ferrante's life in the span of 42 Days. It's an amazing look at a funny, big hearted human being healing his heart, changing his life & discovering the person who has been inside the whole time. You can learn more & watch the preview here. It made me laugh & it made me cry - both equally beautiful experiences.

18. The amazing feeling of getting paid well to do things I love & enjoy. The Universe has been delivering me some really amazing gigs lately that have been fun, financially abundant & easy. More of this is coming my way soon.

19. Cleanse assistance. I also got paid to help a friend with a cleanse she was doing, which was so in alignment with my highest self & brought me such joy. I am feeling into all these places where I get to create financial abundance doing things that just feel right. It's growing. Energy flows where attention goes!

20. Adam Barley 5 Rhythms Chaos Workshop. For 3 days I danced in chaos with this man, this magical teacher. I left there feeling more grounded within chaos than I had ever known was possible. Thank you, Adam, for teaching me how very much I am capable of. I feel as if I can do all that I want to in the face of anything right now!

21. Marin County for being the most beautiful place I've called home so far.

thirty-8.

2010-10-23T17:14:00.000-07:00

1. Being greeted by dawn. I have the most amazing view of the sunrise from my bed...large gorgeous east-facing windows give me a few of the sun coming up from behind the mountain each day.

2. Purging. I did a pretty decent purge before my travels, but after a year on the road you learn to live with so little & I am grateful to bring that experience into the process of paring my belongings down even more. Releasing, releasing, releasing. It makes me feel so much lighter!

3. Not settling. I temporarily found myself in joyless housing & work situations, which reminded me I don't need to settle - ever! The amazing things I want really are out there & do come to me when I allow them in. I choose to return to movement, continuing to seek what I want & not stopping til I find it. When I live this way, my life is full the most magical experiences - it's time to return to it & discard everything that is not in alignment with that I choose to create. So I gave notice that I'm moving out & am shifting work things as well.

4. Palo Santo for cleansing the energies in my room & helping me create a safe haven where clarity always comes and my prayers are always answered.

5. The Abounding River. I've picked the 42-Day Cafe Gratitude Abounding River practice up again and already so much is shifting. This work takes you deep into abundance and love!

6. Joanna. My Memphis belle saved me from a weird couchsurfing situation when I was traveling in Memphis (I chose to call her instead of settling for staying where I was) & we are still so closely in touch, and she's decided to be my partner for the 42-day Abounding River process. Yay!

7. Daily medication & prayer is the best medicine ever.

8. Betty is the best rockstar car ever. Cross-country 3 times, Burning Man twice & just a huge comfort for me through so many things. Yes, I love my car. And she loves me too.

9. The messages in the cards. Everything has been super spot on the last few readings I've gotten from any of the Doreen Virtue Decks - messages about doing healing work, how to heal financial blocks & shift things. And I keep getting the soulmate & twin flame cards from different people using different decks. Fun.

10. Gabe for giving me one especially lovely reading about manifesting the tuition money for herb school. So many things I needed to hear to heal things & take control of the situation. Stepping into my power!

11. Rumi for always having the words that my heart needs to hear.

12. Hafiz. Ditto.

13. Halloween is the best holiday ever. So excited for this years Ecstatic Dance event. The abundance of conscious, sober dance events in the Bay Area astounds me.

14. The Good Earth is our small town's natural foods store, but it's more like town hall. It sometimes takes 2 hours to grocery shop because you run into so many people, and I love every single minute of it!

15. Gluten-free goat mac and cheese from The Good Earth. As cooked food has found it's way back into my diet, this amazing gluten-free cheesy goodness seems to be finding it's way onto my plate a little too often. So good!

16. Vegan coconut tapioca pudding is another G'Earth item that is just too good. Yum, yum, yum.

17. Cleansing. I feel like I have a decent balance of raw & cooked, but have been eating some stuff (see above) that isn't that great for me, so I think it's time to cleanse with some raw food for a bit to elevate my vibration. Cleansing feels so good - releases so much!

18. The plant nation for feeding us, giving us medicine, cleaning our air, rooting beneath us, providing us with shelter & love.

19. Sunshine transmitting its energy into our skin, our food & everything around us. Light, light, light.

20. Sound healing and the masters of the craft. Crystal bowls, didgeridoos, gongs & the whole arsenal - woah.

21. Fiddle syncs. I've been having so many fiddle synchronicities lately - I know the time for me to buy one is oh so close. I've been scoping out the first one I want - it's calling to me. Soon it's gonna come home with me.

30-se7en

2010-09-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

I guess this is the Burning Man addition :)

1. Burning Man. I swear it gets better & better every time. This year was the most gentle, grounded, sweet experience. I camped with the best people ever & had the most amazing time.

2. Camp Gratitude. I can't even put this into words, but I camnped with the best people ever. Our camp was so grounded, full of clearing & healing. We ate all fresh, organic food all week long, had amazing communal meals, days full of playing guitar & singing about love in all it's forms. Can't wait til next year!

3. Jason Mraz for coming to play & sing at our camp every day. So great to meet such a positive force in delivering the message of love to the pop-culture masses in person & see that he really is an open-hearted, humble, sweet brother in person too. And his lady was oh so lovely too.

4. New connections. Amongst the beautiful angels I already knew in my camp, I got to meet a whole host of new angles on a mission to brighten the world with their light. So many beautiful conversations about healing, community, owning land and us being the ones we've waited for. We are doing it! I am so grateful for these new connections.

5. Sonya Sophia is an eARTh angel. There is no other way to describe here. One of my highlights at Burning Man this year was a 2-hour-long EFT session she led in a duststorm about tapping into our divine purpose. It was so magical, so healing & so beautiful to sit there with 100 other people doing this work in unison. I had been doing EFT for the last year & one if the women I've worked with told me about her. I am so glad I finally got to meet her - she is so amazing & I feel so called to train with her in the Bay Area when the time is right.

6. Reconnecting with some lovely beings I haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with in recent months. Sometimes space, time & distance are what we need to heal & when we come together again, it's so beautiful to meet from a new direction!

7. Dubstep massive. The bass therapy always does me right, eargasm after eargasm.

8. Rhythm Wave Camp was just a quick bike ride down the playa from us so I got to spend a lot of time with my 5 Rhythms dance familia. This practice has been such a big part of my life & it was so wonderful to be able to experience it out there & dance barefoot on the bamboo floor in the mornings. Perfect way to wake up.

9. Yoga & 5 Rhythms at the Temple. Wow, what a sight to behold! Hundreds of people doing yoga together at sunset in front of the temple, and then a healing dance party after.

10. Temple experiences. When I walked in the temple to write my prayers on it, I was come undone by the energy. I felt as if I had taken on everyone's grief & sorrow and just allowed it to move through me in the form of cleansing tears. Then this beautiful man played his music which completed my release & lifted me into such a heightened state of love.

11. Fresh young coconuts were the best thing to have out on the playa. Thank you, nature's gatorade. Hydration is key.

12. Vegan Beet Kvass is fermented, healing delicousness.

13. Love. Just so many beautiful soul connections I cannot even begin to describe.

14. Free ice cream in the hot Nevada desert surrounded by beautiful people in costumes covered in dust. Beeyouteefull!

15. Generosity. The generosity I encounter at Burning Man always makes my heart well up. We are bringing this change to the default world by living lives of service, in alignment with our souls, giving just to give.

16. The giant dancing lady was by far one of the best art pieces on the playa this year - so powerful, graceful and inspiring.

17. Sea dragon art car adventures. They always have the most amazing music - a lot of world fusiony dubstep, glitch & bass with the sweetest melody to lift you up. Mmmm.

18. Sleep. This year I actually got some!

19. Playa babies. So many special & amazing little baby beings playing in the dust this year. It brings a sweet, innocent balance to the chaos.

20. Dust storm burn. The burning of The Man was so intense. A massive dust storm passed through as he was being lit & the combination made it look like we were in some crazy apocalyptic reality, which was actually quite beautiful in so many ways.

21. Heart-opening. I finally feel so completely healed from my last relationship which ended at the end of last winter. It took several months and there were so many lessons in self-love & healing and now my heart is completely wide open for whatever love comes next. There is always more :)

thirty-6.

2010-07-10T14:03:00.000-07:00

1. Speaking my truth. It's not always easy with some people, but speaking how I genuinely feel from a place of love & not allowing anyone to tell me I 'should' feel or be any differently than I am feels so delicious & empowering. It's removed so much fear and allowed to go to even deeper levels of self-love & alignment with my inner guidance. Eternally grateful for all of this healing.

2. Reiki clinic beauty. I'm fulfilling yet another one of my dreams by putting my healing abilities to good use as a practitioner at SF's sliding-scale reiki clinic. Bringing affordable healing to the masses is a longtime dream of mine, I can't believe I'm really a part of something so major.

3. I Will Be Light by Matisyahu has become one of my anthems the last few months. I just can't seem to get enough of it. Burn Away the Darkness:

4. Surprises. Life is so full of them, each one bringing the magic of joy to us. I love a good mystery. ;)

5. Bird medicine. Saw a hawk, Great Blue Heron, egret, hummingbird & a plethora of swallows all in the span of an hour. I love where I live.

6. Releasing. Feels so good letting go. Every time I let go of things that no longer fit, it frees up so much space & the things I've been craving instantly come in to fill that space. It's an instant confirmation from the Universe - follow your gut!

7. Redwood hot tub in my backyard. Nightly soaks staring up talking to the star brothers & sisters, mmm, I love this before bed ritual.

8. Dance medicine. I know I've said it a million times, but I'll say it again - I love my dance familia & this 5 Rhythms movement medicine that has brought so much love & beauty into my life.

9. Palo Santo for clearing the energies & tickling my senses.

10. Ceremonial life just fills me up. All these Native ways of living, praying, bring with the land & our hearts. This path brings me so much joy, so much growth, so much healing and so much love for everything.

11. Chocolate selling galore. It feels so wonderful to make money doing something that I love. I look forward to the day when all of my income is coming only from things I love - art, traveling, healing work, raw chocolate & making music.

12. Voice healing. At a ceremony awhile back, the curandero told me I must sing. When I was younger I had an amazing voice, and as I got older, the 5th chakra issues that manifested as hypothyroidism blocked me. Singing & getting my voice back has been such a beautiful part of my healing path - I am so grateful to hear it coming back & transforming beyond its previous capacity. Love this!

13. Photography. It still fills my heart & soul up, after all these years. I still get so much joy from photographing, printing, editing bodies of work. What a huge gift from the Universe, to find things that are always lifting you up, allowing you to express yourself.

14. Permacultured backyards. I love where I live. It's so magical to grab fresh food from the yard and bring it in to prepare a meal. Extra delicious, extra rewarding & extra simple.

15. The little ones. Seems to be a big burst of baby-making going on amongst my friends. I guess we are finally hitting the age where it's time to settle down & create families. I love seeing all these beautiful ways in which life chooses to express itself in human form. It does wonders for my heart.

16. Summer. Now that I live in nature & am outside the city, I experience summer temperatures again. Feels so good & to think I'm only a 25 minute drive to SF. It feels like I am worlds away, here amongst the redwoods & waterfalls. Best move I ever made.

17. Divine guidance. I have noticed how my inner guidance has so very openly steered me to all the places I've needed to live & how much those places served in my growth in transformation - NYC, SF, Fairfax and especially that year of traveling around in line with my true gypsy nature. I trust that I will always know exactly where I am supposed to go so long as I take the time to listen inside. Some things, we just know.

18. The waluta from my vision quest in May hangs on my wall where I am called to look at it constantly. Over and over again, I am reminded of my prayer from the vision quest, my time up on the hill & all that has unfolded since. It is working, this constant prayer to be in a dis-ease free body.

19. Health. These last few months of cycling back in to heal a chronic illness have been so challenging, but I know that each step is part of the process & is bringing me back to health & vitality. I can feel the changes in my body, my energy levels, my mood, and am grateful to finally be feeling like I am closer to being myself again. After 2 years of feeling amazing & living the life of my dreams, it was so scary to cycle back in & I am so grateful for this natural healing path & all I have learned from it.

20. Wildcrafted herbs made into tea and tinctures, oh my. I love this plant-filled life.

21. Heart-opening again and again. The deeper we go into self-love, the deeper our ability to open our hearts to all the amazing people in our lives. I am so grateful for the amazing, positive, nourishing connections I've cultivated in the last few years that have made this a constant process. I love you.

30-5ive.

2010-06-28T23:18:00.001-07:00

1. Corte Madera Creek for providing me with such fulfillment every day. I love exploring new places, but it also feels good to have found one steady place to go on my walks & get to know it, develop a relationship with it.

2. The Buddha altar that someone set up at the creek. It's become the location of almost daily prayers for me lately & has provided a strong, grounded, safe place for me to release what no longer fits & set intentions for what's coming next.

3. Prayers of release. One prayer in particular this week was exceptionally powerful & I could feel instant shifts rippling through my life for the next week. An answer I had been seeking was finally ready to reveal itself to me. Beautiful, divine flow.

4. The Soulmate Experience. My friend Mali & Joe share such a beautiful soulmate connection & share it with the world in the form of their fb site and a soon to be published book. Amazing light beings of love showing me that what I have been looking for really exists.

5. Wild fennel smells intoxicatingly wonderful.

6. Nourish taking shape. One of my side passion projects that has been hit with a hiccup has picked back up and is taking shape in the most beautiful & delightful way. I cannot wait to share it with the world.

7. Good goddess conversation. I am so grateful for all the beautiful women in my life who I resonate & connect with on deeper levels. The goddess bond grows stronger each day.

8. Raw tiramisu is delectable. Thank you, Cafe Gratitude.

9.Great work environments with good people. I am really loving my current temp assignment. Everyone is so nice & friendly and the environment is lovely.

10. Free lunch twice a week, plus leftovers. Helping me tackle project debt elimination. Progress is being made.

11. Gorgeous boat commutes. It's so peaceful to ride the ferry to work in the mornings, spending 30 minutes gliding over the words gazing at the gorgeous land masses. And the ferry terminals are both so close to my home & this current job.

12. Saying no, especially to things I really just don't want to do. Eliminating distractions from my soul purpose feels so good. I've gotten so much better at this the last few years. There was a time when I always said yes & helped everyone all the time & never gave enough to me. I am glad those days are gone & no doesn't feel like a dirty word anymore. Now it's a way to empower myself to live the best life ever.

13. Back in the zen garden. I used to work across from this gorgeous garden in Levi's Plaza and spent my lunches basking in the sun, watching hummingbirds & soaking in the beauty of life. My new job is right next to it.

14. The cyclical nature of life. It's funny that the Universe places me across from my old job to heal that situation. My old boss there was verbally abusive & even though getting fired right when I had put it out to the Universe that I wanted to quit was the best thing that ever happened to me, I still had a foul taste left in my mouth. I took serious issue with the lack of ethics or respect for civil rights in that place & how to them it really was all about money. But I got closure this week in seeing that I am so happy with my life & they all still seemed so stressed out, miserable & chasing after something that will never fill them up. That foul taste got replaces with compassion & gratitude for having been released from that kind of environment.
15.
15. Moving Center School work-trade. I'm now a member of the crew for my beautiful 5 Rhythms dance community. I'll be working at Sweat Your Prayers a few times a month and crewing at The Moving Center School workshops in exchange for lots & lots of free and reduced dancing.

16. Deepening my commitments to this dance path feels so natural & right. This movement medicine has changed my life and helped me heal in so many ways. I cannot even express the gratitude I have for this beautiful way of praying & growing & for the beautiful welcome I have received from this community. It feels so good to be taking things to the next level, deepening in my practice and connections with these beings.

17. Lori & Kathy who are masters of this work. Their teachings have lit up my life, given me so much, helped me through so many big shifts in my life.

18. This beautiful body. I have never felt as comfortable in my body has I have this year, so full of love, appreciation & commitment to loving it & taking care of it. It is a marvelous machine & I hope it lasts until I am 100 at least. :)

19. Imogen Heap for being so amazing & filling the world with beauty. I've been addicted to finding beautiful dubstep remixes of 'Hide and Seek' lately:

20. Ingrid Michaelson for a beautiful song that breaks my heart & fills it back up again:

21. Trentemøller for so many delicious songs, but especially this one:

thirty-four.

2010-06-25T23:06:00.001-07:00

1. 5 Rhythms for bringing such profound healing into my life time and time again. I was awarded a scholarship to attend the latest 3 day workshop, entitled 'The Relationship Dance' and am still riding the wave of bliss. This movement medicine is one of the most amazing things in my life, and I am grateful every time I get to dance with my community.

2. Scholarships for making it possible for me to attend several events this year that I would not have been able to afford otherwise. The Universe is always providing!

3. Partners. So many different beings out there, each one brought into our lives for a reason. I had so many amazing partner dances this weekend that taught me so much about myself & relationship, and brought so much joy into my life.

4. Clarity. This workshop also gave me a lot of clarity on my last relationship and the lessons that teacher had for me. I am grateful for all that I am learning in this process of intimate unfolding. It suits me well to be so open with my heart.

5. Hafiz. I love Rumi just like everyone else, but Hafiz also holds an extra special place in my heart. He makes my soul melt into a giant puddle of bliss with every line.

6. Blindfold dancing. It wasn't exactly a trance-dance, but we did this exercise where we danced blindfolded, alone & with a few different partners for several songs. I feel like it's definitely something to integrate into my next partnership when difficulties arise - put the blindfolds on, turn the music up, and dance together until the energy dissipates and you can see things from a fresh perspective.

7. Connection. Another beautiful exercise was dancing around the room, stopping in front of new sets of eyes and energetically sending love, peace, healthy and the ability to move through life with ease to all these amazing souls. So much more can be said without words, it's true. This energetic connection of looking into one another's eyes is so powerful.

8. Comedies. Laugh medicine has also been big in my life lately.

9. Redwood hot tubs. Nothing like coming home from 6 hours of dancing & plopping right into the hot tub outside your bedroom to watch the sunset over the mountains. So grateful for my backyard oasis!

10. Community. I just always feel so full of love & so overflowing whenever I dance with my community. I can't explain it, it's like an energetic family where words are rarely spoken.

11. Dating. Been really needing to just go out on dates & explore my options again and enjoy the newness of other men. While I miss the wild chemistry & deep connection I had with my last guy, it is nice to just explore & be open to whatever wonderful thing is headed my way next.

12. Buddhas by the creek for giving me a beautiful place to pray on my sunset walk today. I love discovering new sacred nooks & look forward to the manifestation of this prayer, as I know it is already on it's way.

13. Barnes & Noble for being the modern day library, with tea. I'm not much for corporate chains, but you have no idea how much research I've gotten done at these places on my travels!

14. Purging. Sometimes it comes out in tears, sometimes laughter, sometimes yawns...I find peace in knowing that whatever needs to come out of us always finds a way when we allow it.

15. Vulnerability for allowing us to connect & open our hearts truly & fully to others, laying everything open in our sacred connections.

16. Intimacy. It's what keeps me dancing this beautiful dance of relationship. I love that closeness of knowing someone deeply, sharing private moments of joy, ecstasy, love, tenderness, and beauty, the Oneness that it brings to us.

17. Raspberries for being so fresh & delicious. I love summer.

18. Financial stability. It feels nice to have stabilized my income again after a year of traveling & coming back to start my own business. It's been a struggle but I am happy to be back on track with operation debt removal!

19. Opportunity. I love how we always have a choice to make something an opportunity to love more, to open more, to be of service, to stretch ourselves, to grow, etc. Life is so very different when you view things as opportunities instead of misfortunes. So different!

20. Moonbathing. Luna woke me up at 4am for a little eclipse moonbath that lasted forever. It felt nice to just lounge in bed in the glow.

21. The Unknowing for keeping life a mystery to me every day. So magical, so beautiful, so full of surprise as it all unfolds in the most perfect way.

30-three

2010-06-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

1. Magic sunsets over the wetlands preserve. Everything was hot pink & purple and reflecting in the water full of ducks. My almost-daily sunset walks near bodies of water are one of the most important rituals in my life - so vital to my soul.

2. Jasmine blooming all over the path filling the night-time air with deliciousness.

3. Credo Mobile for sending me a new free phone just because they felt it was time for an upgrade.

4. Chai tea for still being something I am always grateful for, even after all these years of dedicated drinking.

5. Super manifesting. I had several incidents today of having the Universe deliver exactly what I was wishing for just minutes after I put it out there that I wanted it. I love when I am tapped into this flow to receive!

6. Completed statements of intent. I have not yet figured out how to not get stuck on them, but I will soon. And having someone sit right next to you to talk about them as you write them definitely helps the process. Thank you, Lauren!

7. Feeling ready to dive in! I've had a few projects on hold the last few months & it feels good to finally dust them off, move past the fear and take the next steps. This has been my most productive week in ages on 3 different projects.

8. Creating your own income is amazing. It was easy to start the chocolate company because I was still temping a lot, but the closer I get to sustaining myself more & more on my own talents, the scarier it gets. But once you unblock the fear and move forward, nothing is more rewarding. Here's to multiple streams of income!

9. White nectarines are the most delicious things I have eaten today. Fresh local stone fruits galore. Mmmm.

10. Books. Something else I have felt grateful for pretty much every single day since I was a child. I love the way they smell, the way they feel, the way they look on shelves and the power they have to transform your day into a magical adventure, or to transform your entire life if you let them.

11. Zoe Keating for being one of my biggest musical inspirations. This forest cellista is truly amazing. I cannot wait til I've mastered my strings enough to get looping.

12. Fleece socks. Sometimes it really is the little things.

13. Coconut milk. In a smoothie, or a chai latte, added to cooked veggies, in cereal - the options are endless!

14. Manzanita trees, especially the one right outside my little glass bedroom walls.

15. Blueberries are in season, which means local, organic & cheap all fall in line!

16. Sunrise. Was awake for my first one in awhile and the hills of Marin were even more stunning than usual. I love living here.

17. Dresses. Totally adore wearing them & skirts every day if possible. It feels good to be back in my normal body & feel super sexy in my old clothes that were waiting for me to heal.

18. Kiehl's for giving me a gazillion free samples to play with. I'm digging the Amazonian clay.

19. Chick flicks. I hadn't watched one in the longest time, but this afternoon when I couldn't nap, it was just the perfect brainless thing to keep me company while resting.

20. Herb dreams. Since I put off herb school because I wanted to get my finances completely in order this year, I've been daydreaming a lot about all the fun stuff I will be able to make when I finally do go. It makes the delay pass with more ease & I have a longer time to be excited about it.

21. Cute guys. Especially ones who like organic food, and are just so open. Marin is full of them & I am loving the energy.

thirty-two.

2010-06-21T11:01:00.000-07:00

1. Moonbeams that dance their way through the skylight & glass walls of my bedroom to play on my face as I drift into dreamland.

2. Amazing friends that receive all this love I have pouring out of me, and then give me some of theirs on top of it. It's a beautiful reciprocation system we've got going on, expanding infinitely as we lift each other higher & higher.

3. An attitude of gratitude that makes it so much easier to cut away the unnecessary places we invest our energy - places like worry, anxiety, unhappiness, judgement, and stress. When you focus on your blessings, those other places are released and you make room for trust, love, joy, bliss, compassion & freedom. So beautiful, this transformation process.

4. Paper Source for helping me rock out some truly beautiful handmade packaging for my chocolates.

5. Forgiveness is one of the most magical medicines for your heart. Use it as often as possible for your own sake.

6. Soundcloud for making it easier for all my friends to share their latest mixes with me. Aural pleasure.

7. Rosewater for being one of the purest, most delicate scents & flavors.

8. Shooting stars. Saw my first one of the summer tonight. Perfect way to celebrate the solstice & make a wish.

9. Sandrita who has brought so much joy & positivity into my life. So beautiful to have friends like this who really live a path of the heart & see your truest self.

10. Money manifesting. So much wealth coming my way. I'm so grateful for having transformed my relationship with money from one of disgust & lack to one of love & gratitude. Keep it flowing.

11. The Scoop. Local, hand-made honey-lavender ice cream around the corner. That's all I'm sayin'.

12. Resolve. Some things need to run their course for awhile before we absorb all the lessons, but when we finally reach that place of open, loving acceptance for all that is, there is nothing like it.

13. Geico for having the most amazing customer service on the planet. And such amazing claims adjusters!

14. Spring water hunting. Went to check out a new spring early this morning in Calistoga with Lauren and had the best start of a day ever.

15. Bookstores with cafes for being the new library. I got so much research done today.

16. Summer. After several years of living in SF & having it be chilly until late August, it's nice living just north enough to experience what summer is really like. I missed it so much!

17. Creeks aplenty all over Marin. So many bodies of water to walk around & dip my toes in.

18. Wetlands preserves full of sunset reflections & birds. I found a new spot close by to make the new home of my daily walks - so peaceful & uplifting with a gorgeous view of Mt. Tamalpais.

19. The kindness of strangers always amazes me. I had just been thinking,"Man, our spring water bottles are heavy & the car is far...I wish we had help" when a man showed up to fill his own bottles & he ended up carrying all of ours back to Lauren's car for us. Thank you, Universe!

20. Hindsight for so many important lessons I'm now able to integrate.

21. Present moment awareness. What else is there, really? It feels so good to be feeling back to normal, balanced between the heart, soul & mind and just being aware of each beautiful moment.

3irty-one

2010-06-20T23:08:00.001-07:00

1. Street parties. Especially the ones where I can sell chocolate under Aztec murals & listen to the Dj mixing old school Slick Rick and Soul of Mischief.

2. Vitamin D. All that sunshine makes me so happy.

3. The local underground food scene. I love being a part of this community. All these underground food events full of handmade hustlers make me grin. And how we support each other & pool together for the benefit of everyone never ceases to amaze me.

4. Keeping busy has been so vital to feeling good lately as it keeps me out of my mind & into LIFE.

5. La Victoria for supporting & nourishing the local community. This place has amazing events.

6. The job that is coming. I know it's on it's way and I know it's going to be good for me on so many levels.

7. Obstacles removed. Got a lovely offer to sell my chocolate at a spot in SF & use their commercial kitchen clout, something that's prevented me from moving on all the requests from store buyers. Now I'm one step closer...

8. Homemade dream catchers made from objects found in nature. Thanks, Jesse - I love it!

9. Fitting my college clothes after all this time is priceless. It makes me feel so good about myself to have fully reversed the metabolism portion of thyroid issues. One major step forward!

10. Coconut oil is magic. Good for your skin, good for your thyroid gland, good for your hair & scalp, good for your belly.

11. Palo Santo burning in my room. Scenting it up with some sacredness is always good.

12. The Haight is just always fun for a little window shopping. Especially all the Tibetan, Himalayan & Indian shops full of little spiritual goodies.

13. The Grateful Bowl at Cafe Gratitude, making it possible for raw foodists to eat out for cheap when we're broke.

14. Reiki. I became a reiki practitioner last month and it's seriously been rocking my world. Being a conduit for Universal Life Force energy is amazing...feeling it running through your palms to heal others is some seriously intense love at work. I definitely notice the difference on the days when I make the time to give myself a session and am looking forward to making it a more frequent part of my self-love practice.

15. Anna. I met her through a shamanic journeying group and instantly adored her. She's a kindred spirit for sure, and is now my reiki instructor. She's so positive, energetic, loving, enthusiastic and just open. I'll be volunteering at the reiki clinic she's put together in SF starting in July.

16. The internet for speeding up the process. And for helping me find the answers. Always.

17. Applied Kinesiology. The woman I am doing structural work with is amazing. She uses kinesiology, chiropractic adjustments and NeuroEmotionalTechnique (NET) to ask the body what is going on, correct the alignment issues in the nervous system & clear old emotions that are stored in our cells.

18. My intuition for telling me that there was a structural component to my healing path that was missing. It also guided me to raw foods & a ton of other healing in the past and has steered me away from some unsafe situations in the past when I've chosen to listen to it fully. And the more I listen, the sharper it gets and the more guidance I receive.

19. Spring Water fresh from deep within the Earth's aquifers. I love going out in nature and collecting it from the source and meditating with it for awhile. Such a beautiful experience.

20. The local library for having such an amazing collection of spiritual books and for being less than a mile away.

21. Skylights. Going to sleep staring at the stars is something truly special, and when you can't camp, looking right above your bed is the next best thing.

30.

2010-06-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

1. Ecstatic Dance medicine. I am so grateful for my local conscious dance community full of people looking to enjoy life naturally without drugs & alcohol. A night full of beats, bass and dancing with cute boys is always a good time in my book.

2. Beautiful invocations. This man I always run into at Cafe Gratitude did the most amazing invocation at Ecstatic Dance last night talking about our perfection, our beauty. It put us all into a trance with its power.

3. Little altars everywhere. It's not just my personal altar at home that gives me the prayers & medicine I need - it's the altars I see in other people's homes, the altar at the sweat lodge & ceremonies I go to, the altars at 5 Rhythms and Ecstatic Dance, the little altars in nature made by hikers and meditators and the little city street altars constructed by homeless people. I love this constant reminder of our natural state of gratitude and love for what feels good.

4. Sparkly eyes. I love when I have days so magical that my eyes are extra sparkly and full of bliss. Self-love floods in me and out of me and my whole body buzzes.

5. Sunshine filled rooms. The skylights & glass walls of my room means it's sunny in here from 6am til 9pm and I could not be happier about that.

6. Silent expressions. One of my favorite things about the conscious dance events is that there is no talking. You communicate with others solely through dance, your energy, your heart and your radiant smiles. I love that I can sometimes dance so intently with a stranger, have this intense connection, and never ever know their name. It's beautiful.

7. Tinctures. So many plants, so many ways to decoct, dilute and learn how to use them as medicine. I can't wait for herb school next year!

8. Coconut yogurt is fermenting in the kitchen. Yum. It's so nice to have even better things fill the place of the dairy products that have left my life.

9. Scholarships. I just got a scholarship from the Moving Center School for the next part of the 5 Rhythms workshops I've been doing. This one explores the ultimate spiritual practice - relationship. "Friends, lovers, parents, children — they take us to heaven and take us to our knees." I am so excited to continue on my dancing path! I also got another scholarship for a Women's Leadership program in the wilderness of Washington, but more about that later.

10. Garden space. My flatmate, permaculture goddess extraordinaire that she is, showed me where there is still some room in the garden for planting so I can grow some lettuces & berries. The whole time I was traveling & working on organic farms, I kept focusing my intentions on finding a home with some space to grow my own food and now it's finally here!

11. Kale magic. Permaculture goddess flatmate also said their kale is producing enough extra for me to have some fresh greens from their patch of eARTh every day.

12. Waking up before the alarm clock always gives me that feeling of living on natural time & having the world to myself for a little while before I begin the day. I cherish these days.

13. Chocolate love makes me smile. I am so grateful for this never-ending stream of beautiful foodie events in SF that allow me to grow my raw chocolate business at a steady, organic pace. Doing work where you get to see rewards in the form of ecstatic looks on people's faces as they eat your wares is so fulfilling and makes my heart soar.

14. Singing. When I was younger, I had a really beautiful voice, but as the thyroid shifted further out of balance, it seemed to disappear & I kept wondering where my voice went, why my singing sounded so awful. Last year I learned that singing is one of the best medicines for hypothyroidism, as it raises the vibration of your 5th chakra, healing your body. I would sing more in the car than normaml, and though I wanted to make it a daily practice, I kept getting distracted & simply wasn't making time for it. Then last week, the curandero asked me to sing in the ceremony, a very huge honor I did not feel ready for. I tried, but I totally choked in this paralyzing fear in my mind instead of being present to the opportunity to heal in ceremony, but the message became clear through him that if I were to simply unlock my voice from this thyroid blockage and use singing as my medicine, I would heal this. Ever since then I have been singing daily, and my voice is slowing coming back to life. :)

15. Baby-tainment. My flatmates adorable little baby girl, Sage has been the perfect audience for me. Since I am not yet comfortable singing in front of groups of people, I practice singing to her. She gets so quiet and enamored by the sounds and her face lights up, which brings me more joy and helps me sing even more comfortably, which brings her more joy, and so on. It's a win-win situation.

16. Chickweed concoctions fresh from the wilderness outside. This one had some honey, lemon, cayenne, sprouts & pure water. I love wild plants!

17. Fiddles & cellos. I had my first lessons in both last year and am equally in love with both, but a violin is more travel-ready so I'm going to focus my intentions on manifesting one of those first, then when I have gotten pretty good, I can move on to other instruments. But my love affair with strings & drums runs deep, deep, deep.

18. Life. Always eternally grateful for this one, every single day of mine. It's short - make the most of it, don't get caught up in stuff that doesn't resonate and brings you down and just follow your bliss!

19. Camping season is my favorite season! I am so amazed at how no matter how many different places I go, I still have barely seen a fraction of all the nature in this state - there is such an abundance of beauty here.

20. Trust is one of my favorite tools. Whenever I remember to trust that everything always works out exactly as it's supposed to, my life just flows and everything falls into place.

21. Love. There is so much of it in this world. My heart today is flooding over with all the love from so many wonderful people in my life.

twenty-9ine

2010-06-18T12:42:00.001-07:00

1. Healing paths. When I got back from my travels, I spiraled back into the thyroid illness that had taken over my life for about 13 years. I had 2 years of healing bliss, the most amazing life ever, and now I've dipped back in to uncover more and create something even better. This journey has taken me to so many places within, shown me so much, illuminated beauty I never knew existed. It is challenging to not feel well, for sure, but I know this is only to heal at a deeper root level and when I do, things will be even more amazing than those last 2 years of bliss.

2. My little glass home. I finally moved out of the city to the lovely, progressive, eco-conscious, spiritually open town of Fairfax and am living in the most beautiful house. My room has glass walls overlooking the permacultured garden & 2 skylights so I can watch the stars & planets wink at me as I drift off into dreamland. Outside, there is a Manzanita tree, redwood hot tub, hammock and a wonderful garden. A fox has scurried past my bedroom and there are always deer on the drive home. I may have to put off the community household for awhile because this place feels so right & and my flatmates and their baby girl, Sage, are wonderful. I need this kind of energy right now.

3. Plant medicines. I had the most profound healing of my life last weekend in ceremony with a lovely, soulful curandero. This plant path has been mine for some time, but it's becoming even more powerful and clear. I was able to get to the root trauma that caused this illness, an event from when I was a baby that I had no memory of, but which stored itself in my cells & subconscious. So much is coming to light to heal at this deeper level and I am so grateful for having cultivated this relationship with the plants over the years.

4. Relationships. They aren't always meant to last forever, but some of these short, intense ones are so chock full of really huge lessons and gifts necessary to get you to the type of relationship you really want & deserve. I keep getting closer and closer, perfecting the dance over time.

5. Lauren Henry. My dear spiritual cheerleader, always lifting me up higher. I am so grateful for us meeting a few years ago and deepening in our friendship. What a beautiful soul, what an expansive heart. What an amazing capacity to hold space and be love.

6. Raw/living food. It's the only thing that worked in 13 years to really make me feel better, and as I healed, I began to integrate more cooked foods. After these last few months of struggling, I've decided to listen to my intuition & renew my vows to it. With this vow renewal comes a second honeymoon - I am all excited about raw food again and this renewed enthusiasm is filling my heart & mind up with beauty.

7. 5 Rhythms has become a massive part of my healing path in the last year. This amazing practice is all about dancing your prayers, movement as meditation. We dance our emotions and see what comes up, then dance that and keep going on our own journeys, allowing ourselves to truly feel emotions in the body and transform them by moving through them. My local dance community is so supportive, so open, so loving. I have never been so comfortable in my body as now.

8. Pura Vida. For being what it is. I love it.

9. Vision Questing. I'd been wanting to go on a Vision Quest since I was a teenager, but back then thought it would never happen because I was a white girl. :) I'm so glad times have changed and these ancient, beautiful traditions are open to people of all cultures. My prayer was to finish healing this illness & step deeper onto my path as healer and my time on the hill brought me the information I needed to move forward with that.

10. Little fox. The morning after I got back from a really intense healing ceremony, a little grey fox with red-tipped fur slowly strolled past my glass bedroom doors. I love living more in harmony with nature.

11. People who tell you the truth. Because sometimes you just need to hear it from someplace outside yourself to really listen.

12. Berry season in Marin. I love all the local, organic produce in abundance everywhere. Summer smoothies are rocking my world!

13. Spirulina gives me a nice boost in my smoothies every day, helping me focus and feel good. Mmmm, green.

14. Betty. I truly have the best car ever. She's taken me on so many beautiful adventures.

15. New friends. When I travel, I make friends instantly, but I've noticed that when I'm in one place it takes more time to cultivate connections and I've had some seriously beautiful people enter my life since I moved to Marin.

16. Babies. So much magical, soothing energy in this house because of the little one. And I am filled with joy whenever I spend time with my friends children too. I'm so not ready for my own family just yet, but I can feel the time is coming soon.

17. Coconut milk. Do I really need to elaborate on that? Nope. :)

18. Waterfalls. There is one just a few miles from the house that I've been spending a lot of time hiking too. So soothing, so cleansing, so uplifting.

19. Donation-based bodywork rocks my world! Thanks to Alpha for a rocking 2 hour session in my backyard paradise. Serious shifts!

20. The Gift Circle. My town has a weekly gift circle, which is the community's attempt to move closer to a gift economy. We have dinner together, then go around the circle expressing first our needs that we would like to have met, and then the gifts we have to offer. It's beautiful to see these hearts pour out.

21. Gratitude journaling! I'd gotten so used to living full and total gratitude all the time, that I stopped journaling, but recently found myself back in some old patterns and am getting back to this daily practice that reminds me of how much beauty there is in my life.

20-eight

2010-01-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

1. Love. I found a big, beautiful, sacred one.

2. Sacred Commerce I had the opportunity of attending another wonderful donation-based Cafe Gratitude workshop this month. So inspiring & full of grounding I needed after coming back from a year of travel. I'm diving right into my business pursuits.

3. The end of my travels. Although the initial comedown of spending a year on the road living the life of my dreams was really rough, I'm finally feeling grounded back in my life in California. It took a few weeks to embrace the fact that turbulence has accompanied every major life shift I've ever had and they have all led to the most amazing things. I can't wait to see what takes shape.

4. Instant manifestation is rocking my world. I just keep putting out to the Universe what I need from the bottom of my heart & it just keeps delivering it right to me. Sometimes within a few short minutes. I am still in awe over this.

5. Ceremony. I love my spiritual brothers & sisters who continue to enhance my life & help me crack my heart open wider & wider. So many beautiful faces in ceremony this weekend around the fire, sharing our love & good intentions.

6. Peyote babies. I love the innocent, joyful, loving energy children bring to ceremony This 2 1/2 year old kept running in circles around the fire, instilling it with his pure & beautiful energy. After sunrise, he showed me a picture he had drawn. When I asked him to tell me more about it, he pointed to the fire, the medicine & the Universe (a cluster of stars covering most of the paper) and I beamed. What a beautiful, tender moment.

7. The joys of starting a business. I started working on this before I left to travel & wrote most of my business plan while on the road this past year, but now I am home & really building it. I cannot explain how amazing it feels to start your own business & be able to set intentions every step of the way & not have to compromise my integrity for anyone or anything. This eco-conscious, socially responsible raw, organic, herbal chocolate company of mine is so in alignment with my soul & the healing work I've been doing, I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to the universe for conspiring to make it reality every step of the way. It's all love & the support from community has been outstanding.

8. Fairfax is a town just 17 miles north of San Francisco. I'd been spending so much time there before I left for my travels that I contemplated moving. It's just been calling me. And now that I am back, the Universe has been conspiring to make it my new home for sure. I love SF, but just need more nature, less buildings & people...I am excited to put together a community household with other kindred spirits.

9. Origin Collective. I went up to Fairfax for the first time since before my travels to walk around & make sure everything still felt right. The first thing I stumbled upon was a shop that had opened while I was gone - a collective of herbalists, raw foodists, creative lovers of life & overall positive, inspiring healers. I ended up staying and talking for an hour. I so can't wait to be more involved in what goes on in this space!

10. Rossella & Tim are the best temporary roommates a girl could ask for. Thank you so much for letting me into your beautiful home & giving me free shelter while I sort things out. And thank you, Tanya for letting me stay there in your absence. You have no idea how provided for I feel right now by you and the Universe.

11. The SF Underground Farmers Market is awesome! My friend Iso over at Forage SF started putting together a little market for all us underdogs who can't yet afford the fees at the commercial markets. I'll be selling delicious raw chocolates this week. Amazing food, music & free workshops? Man, it feels good to be back home in my food community!

12. Coastal smells that are one of the greatest things about being home. I can feel my lungs expand with each breath.

13. Green hills that are so lush & soothing. Ah, Northern California!

14. Bass therapy. So much dubstep soothing my soul these days. Bass has always had a special place in my heart.

15. The Ghost Brothers have been on constant repeat lately. Amazing, beautiful, Krishna rockers from Vancouver.

16. Old Victorian houses with all their built-ins, elaborate moldings, and untold stories.

17. Joy I don't know how it's possible for one person to have so much joy in their life, but I am so eternally grateful for each day that I wake up, able to experience another day full of it. Keep the abundance flowing.

18. Bees I took an intro to beekeeping course that blew my mind. I've been wanting to keep bees for eons & it feels good to be one step closer. Now I just need some land to keep them on. :)

19. Sweet street art. I've been seeing these really sweet stencils all around the Mission District about love & light. True expressions of the human heart. That's my kind of revolution. :)

20. Drumming that takes me deeper and deeper inside. This journey is infinite.

21. Oneness. It feels so good to tap into this infinite power of the Universe and know that we are all source.

twenty-7even

2009-08-08T18:29:00.001-07:00

1. Truck Farming. Ian & Curt at Wicked Delicate have put together a mobile garden. This one's for all the sustainable living folks in big cities who want to grow their own food but don't have any land:

Episode 2:

2. Native Traditions. Those of you that know me well know how much preserving the Native American ways of life mean to me. I've been attending sweat lodges & ceremonies for awhile now, but most recently I had the honor of attending a Sun Dance and undergoing an intense week of purification & ceremony. I will write about it in more detail on my other blog at some point, but the experience definitely needed to be mentioned here, as I am extremely grateful for the opportunity & experiences that shifted me even further into abundance and freedom.

3. Volume Projects. Volume is an interdisciplinary new media project of sorts that brings together musicians & visual artists to create hybrid works together through exhibitions, performances and events.

4. Green Museum is the place I've always fantasized about but never new already existed. In the last few years, my artwork has shifted to encompass more of the sustainable/environmental/global topics that are such a relevant part of my lifestyle. I've been applying for residencies that deal with these topics and feel like I've finally found the right way for me to combine all the desires of my soul & gift of consciousness into my art so that there is no longer any separation between the worlds in which I live. So I was really excited when I found out about Sam Bower's endeavor, Green Museum, which looks like the perfect home for the work I do, and is full of a multitude of others artists working in this genre. I could spend hours pouring over the site - it's so inspiring.

5. Global Family. I've always known people all over the world due to the fact that I've lived in 2 of the most glorious cities in America (SF & NYC) which are always full of people from all over the planet, I love to travel, and have always ended up networking with artists on other countries through sites that foster creative conversation like fotolog, and host a ton of people in my SF apartment through couchsurfing, but since I have been traveling across the country these last 6 months, I have met even more people from all over the globe and have been fostering even deeper connections than ever before. It's like this whole family of lightworkers connects everywhere I go doing this healing work, and I've never quite experienced anything like this before in all my years of travel. It's truly something special & I am grateful for the many gifts and teachers who keep coming into my life on this journey & in this lifetime.

6. Sukhavati is the best Joseph Campbell exploration I have seen so far. Netflix it if you want your mind blown.

7. Lucid dream adventures. I've had vivid dreams & decent dream recall since I was a child, but have always been curious about nourishing those skills & astral projection. The rewards for keeping a dream journal by my bed, sleeping without electronics on & using other lucid dreaming techniques & dream herbs have really paid off. So now I travel by day & travel by night. I love this.

8. Hobo College in Chicago created by "the Clap doctor", Ben Reitman:

the more things stay the same from marc moscato on Vimeo.

9. Reconnections. I haven't spent more than 3 days in my hometown since I was 18. It's just not for me. But a big part of my journey was coming home to do some healing with my parents, and I've reconnected with some of my dearest old friends from childhood. It's amazing how you can not talk to someone for 5 years, some cases 10, and still come together in a loving, positive space.

10. Bon Iver has been on continuous repeat on my headphones, computer, car stereo, and brainwaves for the last few years. Justin Vernon's voice just penetrates all these places in my soul...sigh...Hearing such beautiful music live in 2008 at Outside Lands helped deepen my appreciation, but man, this a capella version of 'For Emma' just blows my mind to a whole new level:

11. Tiffany twin love. One of the friends I reconnected with, I had not seen since I was a bridesmaid in her wedding 7 years ago. Our lives just went in totally different directions for some time, but of course we were brought back together naturally at a time when we were both in the same place again to share our spirituality, love & gratitude for life. Being back home with this kind of support to remind me of who I really am is priceless. And her twins just light up my life.

12. Manasquan Reservoir is a place I used to go a lot when I was in High School. It's one of the most gorgeous places near here to go out in nature, so I'm able to get in my daily 5 miles & be surrounded by trees & water, totally loving life. It's sticky, humid, and super hot here during the day, so having someplace close by to go walk during sunset when it's a bit cooler is perfect.

13. Herb syncs have taken me everywhere. Back when I was sick, I refused to go on meds for a very long time because I believed that nature can heal us. I just didn't have the resources, which was why I moved to SF - to be surrounded my all I needed. I tried meds anyway, out of desperation, but they only made things worse. When I finally figured out what was really wrong 2 years ago, I refused meds again & have been doing a wonderful job of healing myself naturally. And my trust in plants has been vital to this & has helped me see one of my callings. So many syncs all pointing to the planetary herbal vocation.

14. Cattus Island has been another gorgeous place to spend time back near my birthplace. I love the salt marshy lands here full of herons, egrets and tons of other birds I can't begin to name. So gorgeous.

15. Alysia & Grace. Alysia & I have been friends since 6th grade, but it's so hard to stay in touch 3000 miles away with the time difference, so it's been so good to spend face to face time with her & her gorgeous little bundle of joy and talk about so many things. All children are great, but I swear this one is extra special. There's just something about her...

16. Abby & Tommy Anton host the local raw food potlucks out here & I have to say, these folks are super kind souls. We've had some great conversations & plotted some fantastic spiritual art ideas & I'm glad to know that this kind of community now exists near my hometown.

17. Swans. Each day as I walk through my parents' neighborhood, I'm greeted by a gorgeous swan couple. Monogamous for life, these beauties just balance each other so well...there is such beauty in their stillness, a sense of deep appreciation for each other & everything around them.

18. Ducklings & goslings. While I'm on the topic of birds, I need to give some love for all the little babies around that same lake with the swans...seeing them tut-tut around behind their mamas makes my heart just beam. So many beautiful moments in this life.

19. Family healing. I came home to do a lot of healing work with my dad & it ended up actually being resolved within a few days - so powerful to finally have a healthy relationship with both of my parents for the first time since I was maybe 8. There were times I never thought I'd get here, but I must have known or else I wouldn't have put in all the work it took to get here.

20. Twitterverse synchronicities. I cannot get over how many amazing people I connect with in this lifetime in all forms - face to face, on the phone, on the internet. I don't really gravitate towards the people posting what they're eating, watching, etc and the types of people I follow create a beautiful tribe full of metaphysical conversations, love, healing energy, sage advice & a sharing of many different spiritual paths. The syncs that we all encounter in the stream are a very powerful display of the shifting consciousness. And you thought it was just a marketing tool. :)

21. The Grouch & Eligh because I listen to their new album at least once a day, no lie. The Grouch has always accompanied me on my spiritual journey this last decade & it seems we grow at a similar pace or something - I dunno. I just know that I can always relate to what's changing in his words & in my life. His positive, inspiring hip-hop was part of what drew me to move to the Bay Area in the first place - it resonated so deeply with me, my soul knew - this is the energy for you to nourish yourself. So that's just what I did. Thanks, Grouch.

20-six

2009-06-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

I rarely post here anymore, as it simply became too time consuming to keep up with two blogs, so while I do find many blessings to be grateful for each day, most of my blogging is done on my raw food & life transformation blog instead. I will continue to post here once in a blue moon, but not very often.

1. Spending months traveling with ultimate freedom In February, I set off on a trip about abundance, being of service, trusting the universe and building community. You can read about my intentions here. I'm so glad I'm doing this instead of the 6 month permaculture sponsorship in Bulgaria. Sometimes things viewed by others as "not working out" are actually the greatest opportunities to pursue something even greater. In the past, I have taken large blocks of time off to travel, like a month or 2, but this was the first time in my life I have traveled with no end date - no need to return back to a place by a certain date, no need to get back to work somewhere, no plans to start any courses, no obligations anywhere, etc. And I have to say, it's been the most freeing experiences of my life. What was originally planned to only be a few months of travel temporarily paused in NJ after 3.5 months on the road, and while I thought it was the end, I got an amazing closure with my relationship with my dad & an opportunity up north near Canada for the summer, and then I will make my way west. So it's looking like that 3.5 months trip is going to end up being more like 8 or 9 months of straight traveling. It's been the biggest blessing of my life to have this freedom and be able to live my life this way and just trust that everything always works out if you follow the needs of your soul.

2. Family healing. After many years, I was able to heal my relationship with my father by finally accepting it for what it is and loving it anyway. Many years ago, I forgave the past & it had little effect on me, but I still had issues with the present and hoped for a change that was not possible, so I changed my need for change and moved into full acceptance & compassion. I knew he did the best he could when I was growing up, but now I know he is always doing the best he can and I understand more about why he is the way he is and am able to be compassionate, but still keep myself safe. It's like I forgot my inner child here when I fled for art school in NYC when I turned 17, and I just came back to stand up to him and reclaim her. Now she's safe inside me, and I'll never abandon her again. The sense of empowerment I feel from knowing several generations of abuse ended with me last week is incredible. Pieces of myself that I had been missing are now intact, and I am glowing with energy and full of love and peace. It was an amazing pause in NJ.

3. Summer Farming. I had wanted to find some summer work on an organic farm, but since I planned to spend the summer in NJ with my folks before heading to South America or New Zealand, I knew I wouldn't be able to withstand the humidity come July, so was looking for alternatives. I vowed last year to never do soulless work again, so wasn't into going back to office work & there is not much in this area except office & retail, so I was extremely thankful that things with my dad worked out as they did and the same night a friend told me the farm he was headed up to in Maine needed more folks. So I'll be spending my summer at Ol' Ways Farm growing the best food ever, eating it fresh from the earth & playing with baby goats, all in a cool summer climate near Canada. I'm so excited, I could burst! Ever since I refused to settle for anything soulless in my life, I have gotten everything I wanted and am extremely grateful.

4. Estonia's Grassroots Country Cleanup Day. Last year 50,000 Estonians got together and did in one day what it would have taken the government 3 years and 22 million euros to do - clean up all the garbage in the country. Truly amazing what can be done in almost no time when everyone comes together with a common goal:

5. Graze the Roof! Graze the Roof is an edible, community-produced vegetable garden on the rooftop of Glide Memorial Church, in San Francisco that my friend Victoria told me about. I didn't get to check it out before I left SF, but am loving reading about their herbal education classes & cooking workshops & will definitely volunteer some time when I eventually get back to California. The whole food/sustainability movement has really taken off, and on my travels I have seen people waking up all over and starting revolutionary programs in their own cities. It's amazing.

6. Another Apprenticeship in Ecological Horticulture, though this time at UC Santa Cruz. I would really love to be part of their amazing program in the next few years, after I finish paying off my debt and have manifested $4,250 for the six-month course. Once I get my chocolate company past it's first 2 years, that won't be an issue and I'll be able to invest more in myself & my lifelong education.

7. 'Home', the film. 'Home' is a non-profit film by Yann Arthus-Bertrand that has been conceived to take a message of mobilization out to every human being to deal with the current issues affecting our Home, The Earth. It's sort of a mix between Koyaanisqatsi & the BBC Planet Earth series. Because they believe everyone should take part in the effort, the filmmakers believe 'Home' needs to be free, so you can watch it here until June 14th.

8. Craft Mafia. I've gotten really into knitting & my DIY inner child has grown so much in the nourishing SF environment of do-it-yourselfers. I was super excited when I learned about Craft Mafia and their forum for networking, promotion & shared ideas. Lots of amazing events & groups all over the place, which is a nice craft resource when traveling. I plan to spend a lot of my free time on the farm in Maine working on some knitted products for my etsy shop.

9. Spikenard Farm is into Bees & Biodynamics. Through some New Zealand Beekeeping synchs on my travels (one of my goals is to study beekeeping, hopefully in NZ), a friend who is doing some freelance for Spikenard turned me onto them. After my summer farming in Maine, I will be traveling back West to Cali, and would like to make this one of my stops.

10. Indralaya is a "sanctuary of natural beauty and peace located on Orcas Island in the San Juan Islands of Washington State", which is an amazingly beautiful area. The Pacific Northwest is amazing. The same friend who told me about Spikenard Farm thought I'd like to volunteer here if I make it back to the area. Theosophy, Community & Spiritual Development? Yes, please! It fits in perfectly with the intentions of my travels so if I'm that far West by September, I'll try to be of service there.

11. Free healthcare in the form of a birthday gift will result in my finally getting this pesky mole removed. It's changed size & shape, so it's in my best interest to take care of it now.

12. Turning 30 was awesome. I had a lovely birthday picnic under the Brooklyn Bridge with some of my old (and new) NYC friends. Tons of yummy raw treats, perfect weather, loving friends, the cutest puppy ever, news of sacred unions & life growing in bellies - what more could a girl ask for? It was a perfect day. I've never been one to worry about getting older, and was actually embracing turning 30 since my 20s were so full of health issues & living very imbalanced, so I'm very excited to start a new decade of growth.

13. Moms. They really are just amazing, inspiring, full of love & patience. I am eternally grateful to my mother and the intuitive connection we share. It's something very special in my life, and I am very blessed to have been born to her. Remember to call your mother and thank her for giving you life - it really is the most precious gift if you use it wisely. :)

14. Catching up with old friends. Got to see a ton of old friends from High School on this trip, and while I don't have much in common with a lot of people I knew in HS, it's still nice to see what everyone is doing with their lives and how they've grown.

15. Story Waters & Lee Harris are amazing teachers. On the nights of my journey where I've camped alone, listening to their Freedom Tapes on my ipod has been very life enhancing & helped me on my path of abundance. Here's Story Waters & his The Meaning of Life in 700 Words:

16. Lake life. I've spent about 2 hours every day in NJ walking around several different lakes at sunset. I feel most powerful when I spend sunrise or sunset outside in nature just being, so I try to do it daily whenever my schedule allows. In the past 2 weeks of my visit with my folks, I've seen the most adorable baby swans, goslings, ducklings and their sweet, protective waterfoul parents making sure they learn to walk, eat & swim. This is the beauty of NJ that I grew up in, and it's nice to be back in it as an adult for a few weeks, which is the longest visit I've had since I was 18.

17. Lauri Giblin who has helped me on my internal journey more than she will ever know. I'm not sure I would have made it through some of my past trauma without her guidance & support of me stepping into my own power. I'm so grateful to be able to work with someone like her who has so much knowledge from so many origins. It's incredible.

18. Cousins! I am so blessed to have a plethora of cousins who have weathered similar storms with their fathers and come to the same acceptance that I finally reached. Sharing stories has strengthened our bonds. Their support in all this has been immeasurable.

19. Release. Had to trim some of the remaining fat in the relationships portion of my life, and it feels incredible. Each time I release an unhealthy friendship, I am amazed at all the room I create for 5 new amazingly nourishing healthy ones that crop up in the space of all that energy. It's amazing.

20. Lifetime education. I always vowed to be a student for life, and would sometimes get swayed because of financial issues, but through the way I have chosen to create my life in this different way, I am always meeting new teachers and learning something daily on my travels. It's been the cheapest education I've ever gotten, this life on the road.

21. Love given to family, friends, lovers, nature & creatures of life. Giving it is the ultimate experience & expression of who we truly are, and when you are open & giving it freely, you receive it freely from others and the energy just keeps building & building to new heights for everyone. I am thankful for all that I have in my life right now that allows me to experience my true self. It was a lot of work to get here, and I am eternally grateful.

twenty-5ive

2008-12-22T23:05:00.000-08:00

1. The Fruit Tree Planting Foundation is David Wolfe's non-profit, which is dedicated to planting fruit trees in several communities. I am proud to say I am going to be working on a few projects with them in 2009, and am really excited. I know times are tight, but if anyone is looking for a good cause to donate some year end funds, they are definitely a worth cause.

2. Reservation reperations. When I was in college, I really wanted to spend some time on a Native American reservation doing something good to repair a tiny bit of the damage we, the collective American culture, have done. The Fruit Tree Planting Foundation has a program set up to do just that and through volunteering with them, it sounds like I will have the opportunity to finally do something I've always felt I needed to do.

3. Hike to Tennessee Valley. Found a new hiking spot in Marin, that was suggested by Cem Akin. It was quiet, and beautiful, and exactly what I needed to experience today. Lush green everywhere, birds galore and then the ocean and its healing sounds. It was perfect.

4. Mountain lions always make me happy when I get the opportunity to see them on my hikes.

5. Getting treated to both lunch & dinner in the same day is fantastic, especially when you're low on funds. Thanks to Cem and Noel for fascilitating my meals today.

6. The sun setting later in the day then it did yesterday. Soon it will be 7pm sunsets. Yay!

7. Rafael Casal did an awesome slam poetry piece on ADD. It's awesome.

8. Taylor Mali. While we are on the subject of slam poetry, I'd love to share some pieces by a few of the extremely talented people who have inspired me the most in this realm. This piece is called "What Teachers Make."

9. Beau Sia cracks me up. I first saw him in Slam when I was in college, and quickly sought out more of his work. He's just got such great energy and is so hilarious while bluntly and cleverly making his points.

10. Buddy Wakefield is another spoken word genius. Here's some slideshow someone made to go with one of my favorite pieces of his, entitled "Convenience Stores."

11. Saul Williams is one of the men who started it all for me...Watching him in Slam when I was 18 or 19 led to me immersing myself in the scene in NY and going to poetry slams in Brooklyn and at Nuyorican whenever I could. How do I pick one piece to contain a man who cannot be contained? I'm not sure it's possible, so I'll share the early work that got me hooked, in hopes of turning someone else into a poetry slam junkie. He makes my heart soar.

12. The Ecology Center in Berkeley has some amazing classes, events and programs from green building to permaculture to speakers about conservation photography. You can check their EcoCalendar for the most up to date event listings.

13. WWOOF Bulgaria I just got a 6 month paid sponsorship to study permaculture and biodynamic farming in Bulgaria. I'd prefer South America or New Zealand, but this sort of fell in my lap through some synchronicities, so I feel inclined to do it. The program is exactly what I am looking for, and is full of so many wonderful opportunities. So exciting! It's summer of 2009.

14. Intentional community talks with Adelaide have been abundant lately. We both really want to start a community somewhere, live off the land and be sustainable both environmentally and economically. Our visions are very much in line and I am excited to have a friend who has similar values and is equally motivated to actually do things instead of just talking. It's so exciting.

15. People's Grocery & the Mobile Market is changing the way the food system works. Frustrated by the lack of access to healthy food in lower-income neighborhoods, these folks created a community-based organization to address the quality of life issues. They worked on a few community outreach programs, and then created the Mobile Market, a grocery store on wheels that rolls through Oakland making fresh produce and bulk goods available to folks in overlooked areas of Oakland. Another great example of community in action!

16. Pacific Wildcraft Seaweed in Mendocino is a great seaweed company. Andrew, the owner, has been kind enough to allow me to go harvesting with him in April or May this year. I'm so excited to learn more about harvesting my own food.

17. Amyitis Gardens is another local gardening project I've emailed about volunteering. Started by David Stockhausen, Amyitis Gardens has started a neighborhood-based farming system that works a bit like sharecropping, providing local restaurants with produce grown in neighbors’ backyards in exchange for a discount at the restaurant. Update: You can read a great interview with Peter here.

18. California School of Herbal Studies is an herbal school in Sonoma where I am thinking of studying. Their program sounds really amazing, and will lay a good foundation for the medicinal chocolate company I want to start. I'm mostly self-taught when it comes to herbs, and really like the idea of being immersed in the study for a few months. They also have a lot of really great one day & weekend workshops for people looking to learn how to make medicinal beer from fermented herbs (as it originally was made) or how to grow their own herbs.

19. Alemany Farm is an incredible volunteer-run farm in San Francisco, where I applied for the year long Ecological Horticulture program mentioned in a previous post. This living example of community empowerment is a great place to volunteer. You can attend their regular community workdays on the 1st and 3rd Sundays of every month and the 2nd and 4th Saturdays and learn a lot about growing your own food, and often take home some delicious organic produce in exchange for your labor.

20. Tonic is positively good. I've been enjoying some really interesting green articles on their site.

21. Top Docs has enabled me to watch tons of amazing documentaries for free.

vingt-quatre...

2008-12-21T14:50:00.001-08:00

1. Homegrown Revolution. This video is incredibly inspiring:

For more info, visit Path to Freedom or their online journal.

2. Yerba Maté lattes. I've been making some maté lattes at home with almond milk, and it's the perfect remedy for a rainy Sunday. Hello, productivity boost!

3. Completed sustainability applications. I just submitted my application for a year-long Ecological Horticulture Training Program here in Northern California. If I get accepted (which I really, really hope I do!), I will spend a year going through the changing seasons at the farm and learn about permaculture, medicinal herbs, and urban beekeeping! I haven't wanted something this bad in awhile, and hitting the send button on that email was so satisfying. I love anticipation.

4. Tea parties are loads of fun. My friend Tanya hosted a lovely gathering, and it was so great seeing 15-20 people sitting on the floor drinking chai, essences of jasmine, Yerba Maté, and various green teas. Cynthia and I decided to plan an outing to The Numi Tea Garden in Oakland after the holidays.

5. Earthlings. My friend Adelaide sent me this really great documentary that you can watch free online and while some parts of it were harsh, they were done that way with reason, it really makes me feel more responsible than ever to do the right thing. Humanity has the strength to choose differently, and to create a more sustainable way of living, and if we are not part of the solution, than we are part of the problem.

6. Rethinking Homelessness. Good, short article by Shannon Moriarty about removing judgment and looking at the real causes. Living in SF, which has a huge houseless/transient population, this is definitely an issue that I see day to day and it concerns me. We're all in this together.

7. Winter solstice is a magical day. I celebrate it every year and give thanks for all the change that I am able to experience, and for the natural systems that exist in our world. The wikipedia entry actually has a pretty thorough list of all the different cultural manifestations from Celtic to Kurdish, for those of you who seek more knowledge. The Candlegrove Ancient Origins solstice page is pretty informative too.

8. The best green juice combo ever is spinach, celery, apple, parsley, mint, ginger, lime & chlorella. It makes me feel like I'm mainlining serotonin! And it tastes amazing.

9. Fresh from the Earth Spring Water. I'm getting ready to go to some local springs and check out the water so I can give myself the highest quality water, with minimal negative impact on the earth.

10. Daniel Vitalis has much knowledge! I love it. He's been one of the greatest teachers I've had, and has been a really large inspiration in my own spring water quests. His knowledge of herbs and mushrooms is also really impressive, and I just love how connected to everything he is, and how assimilates information into the bigger picture. There are some great videos here and on youtube.

11. FindASpring.com was put together by Dhrumil Purohitfrom We Like It Raw and Daniel Vitalis. It is going to become an amazing resource for those who want to trek out and get their own good water, so if you know any local sources near you, please add them to the site and help reclaim our water.

12. Other people's kids especially when they are little, good smelling babies, and you can give them back after a few hours!

13. Amazing friends. I cannot say often enough how lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life these days. I had to trim the fat a bit the last 3 years and get rid of some outgrown, unhealthy friendships, and be more clear about the kinds of people I want to surround myself with (mainly people who deal with their issues and strive to be better people, who are generous and kind and doing things that inspire me), and man, has it paid off more than I ever imagined. I have been blessed with an abundance of amazing people in my life, and this past year I have forged some really amazing friendships.

14. Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an amazing experience: she observed her brain functions (motion, speech, self-awareness) while she was suffering from a stroke and has become a powerful voice for brain recovery. Her TED talk below is truly inspiring.

15. Sprouted grain salads. Made a delicious salad with sprouted quinoa, fennel, shallots, orange pieces, lemon & orange juice, lemon & orange rind, ginger, mint and olive oil. I'm not a huge fan of sprouted quinoa, but it was delicious.

16. This American Life has been a long-term favorite thing of mine. You can listen to it free. Yay, public radio!

17. Green Responsibility makes me feel good. I'm now the 'Sustainability Manager' for a HUGE annual North American campout, happening in June. Someday I am going to get paid to do these things...I am building the steps towards that each day.

18. Aussies. I just love them. Why are they always so awesome?

19. Kiwis. I love them too. I just need to go to New Zealand & Australia one of these days.

20. Oil pulling has become part of my daily routine the past few weeks. My teeth definitely feel cleaner, but I am not sure if it's doing anything else, since I am already pretty low in the toxicity department.

21. Laughter really is the best medicine.

23

2008-12-10T00:33:00.001-08:00

1. Roni was one of the greatest couchsurfers I've had yet! I had just gotten back in my place, so I wasn't going to host anyone because I needed to unpack and clean, but something in my gut told me I should open my home to her anyway and it was fantastic. She's a raw foodist too, so we had lots of great talks and it was nice to have someone take full advantage of my blender, juicer and dehydrator all in the same day. She shared her tales of juice feasts and water fasts and was so inspiring. She also gave me a handy piece of information that might prove to be very useful come May. We shall see.

2. Adyashanti was yet another thing Roni & I synched up on, and I remembered seeing something about satsang in Oakland, so last minute I decided to check his schedule and we went to hear him speak. It was humourous, as always, and I felt enlivened by his presence. He just has a way of putting human thought patterns and feelings into such a simple, laughable format that pushes you to expand your consciousness, and I really love that.

3. Community. Dhrumil from We Like It Raw organized a really great lunch at Cafe Gratitude and I got to meet some really amazing locals. The sense of community was very inspiring.

4. How To Make Lots of Money During a Recession is one of the best Steve Pavlina pieces I have read so far. He talks about present day jobs as modern slavery, and abundance mentality versus scarcity mentality. It's a long read, but totally worth the time it takes.

5. Winterfest is the SFBC's annual fundraiser and it was amazing. I was changemaker, so I did money drops to all the posts all night, but I still got to enjoy myself in the process. There were beautiful bikes being auctioned off, as well as some amazing bike crafts like belts made out of old tires and a wind chime made out of gears and spokes. Gotta love creative reuse!

6. Picnics in December. I just love that I live somewhere where that is possible! My friend Sue-Li from New Zealand had her friend Mythily contact me because she was visiting SF, so we had a nice picnic at Alamo Square. She was a total sweetheart.

7. Radish juice is so good. And amazing for you. It's good for thyroid, so I am trying to incorporate as much into my diet as possible right now to see if it helps.

8. Raw Autumn granola is one of the best recipes I have concocted so far. It's dangerous!

9. Geico cuz the people who work there are always sooooo nice. Anytime I have a problem, they get right on making it better.

10. Chef auditions are exciting. I auditioned to be the chef at CS Base Camp in Berkeley for a few months. It was loads of fun, and it would be great if it worked out. It would be weird cooking for people since I've only been preparing raw foods for the last 6 months or so, but it would still be fun. I like to daydream about being a raw personal chef in Hawaii. Someday. :)

11. Raw Pesto rocks my world. Wes is back to visit again (I told you Cali was addicting, Wes!) and I was delighted when he said he wanted to help me make raw zucchini noodles again. We made a pesto with garlic, sun dried tomatoes, fresh basil, pine nuts and fresh lemon juice. It took a whole 10 minutes to make!

12. The generosity of friends. My car got towed and 2 of my dear friends loaned me the money to get Betty out of the impound because I have no steady job and would owe the system additional money each day she sat there. Thank you, guys.

13. Tabbed browsing is one of the best things to happen to someone like me, who views 30 web pages at once. How did I function before that feature?

14. King Corn was a pretty funny documentary that I watched today about how insane America's food industry is. It was funny because they did all this research on how bad this stuff is for you and how manipulated the system is, yet they kept eating burgers and crappy food anyway. It's almost like they missed the point of their own movie somehow.

15. Selling stuff feels good. I try to go through my books and dvds a few times a year and trim the fat.

16. Bike Co-ops. My friend Jelani showed me his garage, which he is turning into a space for people to come work on their bikes, build their own from donations, and just hang out. It's going to be amazing.

17. Gingerbread house parties. Totally fun to see everyone having such a great time building their own houses. Having so many stylish creations all made from food packed into one room was pretty insane.

18. Hellos from old friends. I have recently had a lot of old friends get in contact with me, which has been really wonderful. Seems like everyone is crawling out of the woodwork. It's been great seeing how lives have changes and people have grown and how we all relate. It makes me very grateful for the people who have been with me through the various stages of my life thus far.

19. Opportunity is infinite. There are always endless possibilities if you open yourself up to them, and I am very blessed for all the opportunities in my life.

20. Yoga Tree connections are helping me get my raw food skills out there. Will hopefully be working on some retreats in 2009.

21. Diversity. This week I have looked all the many things I am interested in, and the diverse groups of people those interests have brought into my life, and it's really amazing. I can't believe I know so many amazing people who are so active and doing so many things with their lives. It's wonderful.

2wenty-2.

2008-12-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

1. Tips for clueless people who got mugged. This is hilarious. Thanks, Wes!

2. Hyper real sculpture is amazing. It just blows my mind.

3. Mike, Justin, Leanne & the Haight house made the last 2 weeks of my life pretty awesome. I love living alone, but having temporary roommates like them made me almost want to live with other people again.

4. Marching Bands being hip. I've seen bands like Mucca Pazza, Extra Action Marching Band, and a whole slew of others completely rock out and make marching bands cool. What I love about this trend is that it's not something being cool again, like the 80s or converse sneakers - it's something that was always looked at as more on the geeky side being reclaimed for how cool it actually is. A friend of a friend said that marching bands are the new punk rock. I like that statement a lot. Rock on, marching bands!

5. Free museum days at the SF MoMA & Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. Lots of really great things to make me and my empty wallet smile.

6. Making friends out of strangers is always fun. Thank you, random people I met last Tuesday.

7. Being back in my apartment! I can't even begin to explain how amazing this feels. The first 2 weeks of sharing my place with my subletter panned out far worse than I thought it would, and after a very through saging cleanse of my apartment, I am glad to be back in my own space full of good energy. I feel much less stressed, calmer, and heading back to clarity.

8. My sister is awesome. When we were younger, 8 years made a huge difference and we didn't have a great relationship, but as we've gotten older, we've really developed a great friendship. And she's growing so much lately, it's been beautiful to watch her start to come into her own. She's been a total lifesaver this month by helping me revamp my resume and cover letters, as it looks like I might need to find another office job for a few months to tide me over until my other business stuff picks up.

9. My landlord is being amazingly cool about everything. I never would have thought that would happen, but it is. Thanks, Joel.

10. Cashew spreads with rosemary, lemon and cayenne. Yummy.

11. Twitter is so silly, and I totally love it.

12. Red pears taste gorgeous. I love fall.

13. Closure. Sometimes it takes years, and you've already put the past behind you, but it allows you to let go of that last lingering piece. It's nice.

14. My trail shoes are super comfortable, and I have been walking everywhere in them.

15. Cooking opportunities. I have a dinner "audition" this month to be a live in chef for a short period of time. It's not raw and it's in Berkeley but it could be a really amazing opportunity for a brief stint.

16. My Sigg comes with me everywhere. And I am always noticing how many places there are to fill it up that aren't public fountains. It's pretty impressive.

17. Old school DJ Shadow still soothes my soul.

18. Meditation without which I would be feeling totally overwhelmed by all that I am trying to do right now. It's a lot, but when you take the time out of business to fall still, you actually get so much more done because your head is clear and you're present. "I don't have time" is an excuse we all overuse, and making time for what is important pays off in the long term.

19. Weird high school connections. I sort of steered away from that stuff on Myspace a few years ago when a lot of old faces started appearing, but different people have been popping up on Facebook and it's been really great connecting with them and seeing where people's lives are. A lot of them are doing really inspiring things. It makes me smile.

20. Dr. Bronner's has proven to make a good temporary shampoo until I can make it to Rainbow to pick up my regular stuff. It really can be used for everything.

21. Planning a trip to LA for a weekend next month. I'm really looking forward to seeing my friends down there.

(21) blessings

2008-11-29T23:59:00.000-08:00

1. Taking a break from work. Even though I don't technically have a "job", I still took "black Friday" as a day off from blogging, job hunting, promoting, editing ads, designing new flyers, and all that stuff.

2. Amma. Instead of working, I slept a bit late to recover from the best Thanksgiving ever, and then went to San Ramon to see Amma. I've never seen someone so full of love. She is so giving, and her teachings make me smile.

3. Forage SF is a great new project I am getting involved with. I sat down with Iso, who forages wild mushrooms and sells them to SF restaurants, this week to discuss his new fantastic venture and how I might fit in. I was delighted to find that we were easily able to brainstorm about a million and one different things, which I will surely post about here as they come to fruition. I am really excited about his project and the vast potential it holds.

4. Hiking in the dark and meditating by trees on the lit up trails at the ashram. What beautiful moments I shared with others.

5. New connections. A few people with lots of potential to be important forces in my life appeared this week. We shall see how the unfolding events play out with each of them. I am really excited and thankful for all that is happening in my life right now.

6. Cloud Cult is an old band, but I am thoroughly addicted to them now. Check out 'Take Your Medicine' and 'When Water Comes to Life' on their music page.

7. Raw Indian Feasts. Tanya and I made a feast of raw Indian dishes. They were all pretty amazing, and I was high on my food for hours after.

8. Raw Chocolate Mousse is so addicting and good for you too! I love guiltless desserts. I just got all my temporary roommates addicted to it to. Gotta spread the love...

9. Half Moon Bay was beautiful, warm and sunny today. We stared at the ocean for a long time, and talked a lot. I was out of it today, so this was exactly the kind of Saturday I needed.

10. Wonderfalls is a really, really, really good show. I am not much for TV, so when I find a show I like, I get really into it. It's bizarre, hilarious, and the bartender is really cute. Definitely an added plus.

11. Betty. Even though I walk all over town, and am an avid bike person, my car gets mad love. Betty has driven across the country and over an abundance of mountain passes from NY to SF, been to Burning Man and 95% of the National Parks in California, as well as a million drives up and down the coast. I heart her.

12. Chipotle Olives from Rainbow. Yum yum yum.

13. Justin's 14 cup Food Processor rocked my world this weekend. I made some tasty raw Thanksgiving treats for Will's potluck. I need one so I can make everything at once instead of in smaller batches like at my house. Time to check freecycle.

14. Freecycle just deserves its own post. In a world full of waste, it's so inspiring seeing so many people implement all these little changes that add up to a big huge change on a planetary level. Yay, freecycle.

15. Blessed water that I am adding to my larger container of water to make it last longer. Something about taking home blessed water in cheap plastic containers just cracks me up, yet does not dilute the significance of the water itself. Life makes me smile so often.

16. Getting to know dysfunction is great. I love having chats with people about their families and the craziness that ensues and being able to understand that special kind of chaos that helps make you who you are and bonds you to one another.

17. Weird dreams of which I have had plenty this week. I emailed one to Kirsten for this dream collaboration art project we have been talking about for a long time now. It seems the time is finally right. Her illustrations are simply amazing.

18. Packing jobs via Jon. Thanks, Jon. That will help with my rent.

19. Travel daydreams are causing me to want to get another office job, at least for a little while to pay off the rest of my debts and save for a ticket somewhere.

20. Lessons learned from human relationships and having 2 people really understand each other enough to communicate well. I am eternally grateful for these kind of friendships I have in my life now.

21. Anticipation of getting my place back.

2wenty. giving thanks

2008-11-27T23:14:00.000-08:00

21 words to describe the most perfect Thanksgiving in SF:

...Human chickens dancing to the beat of tribal drums and the sound of Puerto Rican bomba vocals calling for wild generosity...

I couldn't have made that sort of thing up. It truly was a beautiful day. Thank you, everyone.

9teen

2008-11-20T11:39:00.000-08:00

1. Having a home base for the next 2 weeks has taken so much stress out of my life. It's only been a day and I've already gotten so much more done and feel so much more steady and focused. The past few weeks were a bit intense. Thanks to Liah for letting me stay at her place while she is in Wisconsin.

2. Sleeping in a real bed for the first time in 2 weeks. I've thought about sleeping on a platform with a thin cushion because I know I feel great when I sleep on the earth during camping trips, but the past 2 weeks has been various kinds of floors with my sleeping bag and it's just not the same as the soft giving earth. Last night I slept so amazingly well.

3. The Haight on a daily basis. It's always been one of my favorite parts of town, so it's cool seeing it from the new perspective of living here for a few weeks.

4. Cliff from Adventure Out. Tanya and I had a conference call with him today to get advice on the sustainable adventure travel company she and I are starting. It was unbelievably helpful and saved us hours of work and investigation. It's always best to just ask someone who is already doing something similar to what you're doing. They can also help you avoid mistakes. Thanks, Cliff!

5. Haight Organic Market is super duper cheap! I bought a whole bag full of delicious produce for only $19.

6. Winter in SF isn't really about death like winter back east was. Here it's a sort of rebirth - everything goes from brown and dry to lush and green. I am hopelessly in love with this city. Cala lillies start blooming everywhere. It only gets 10 degrees colder than in the summer. I can go hiking all the time and be super active.

7. Guacamole is one of my favorite foods. I can make it a million different ways and never tire of it. Lately, I've been really into putting some mango in it.

8. The view from Tanya's office is pretty killer. If I were her, I'd stare out the window all day.

9. Raw chocolate at the mall it was not the most amazing chocolate, but it was decent and the fact that I found it in the mall when I was going crazy for chocolate was great!

10. Traveling with a blender. It makes me laugh how I have been carrying it with me from house to house as I stay in all these different places while I sublet my apartment.

11. Stacey's Books is someplace I have to go in every time I pass by it. It's such a great indie book store, of which there are tons in SF, but not many near Market Street. I love curling up in a corner and checking out some things. I have always loved libraries and bookstores, since I was a child. My mother is to thank for that.

12. Re-reading books. I actually sat and read a book I had read their before, a year or 2 ago. I loved it but didn't want to buy it, and it was funny how I went in and thought of it right away. Maybe it's telling me what I need to do. :)

13. Jalapeno fingers. I've got a slight heated tingle in my fingers from chopping. It's nice added warmth for the 55 degree weather.

14. The sneaker art piece on Liah's wall. She and/or her boyfriend sliced a sneaker in half to see how it was constructed and framed it. It makes me smile.

15. Shiterature in other people's homes. This is what I call the literature tucked in the bathroom for people to read when they poo. The bathroom of the current house I am staying in has an odd assortment of a book called "Gay Science", an issue of playboy, a few copies of Nat Geo, a Kama Sutra book, and some political mags.

16. Big old Victorians with a million rooms are so special. Definitely one of my favorite features of this city. It's all about attention to details and beauty. As a visual artist, this makes sense to me. Form and function, not one compromised for the other. It's smart.

17. Writing for friends makes me feel good. Zach asked me to write one of his recommendations for this 10 Year Gongfu program he wants to do somewhere in NorCal and I really enjoyed writing about his character and positive energy and traits. When you create room in your life for amazing people like that and refuse to accept less, you attract more of them. I am very grateful for the loving, positive, productive group of friends I have in this city.

18. Carol Alt at 47 is great publicity for the raw food lifestyle. I can't believe how amazing she looks for her age!

19. Making up is a good feeling.

20. Minimalist rooms are great for focus. I have gotten so much more work done staying in Liah's space. Definitely will be using this inspiration to reconfigure my work area when I am back in my own apartment.

21. Space for myself to just sit and be alone and meditate and focus on all the beauty in my life. Space to work on the things I need to do now. Space to step back from the chaos of the time and be really present.

eighteen - the Green edition

2008-11-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

1. SF Green Fest occupied all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's the largest sustainability event in the world and brought together a ton of amazing speakers, vendors, and people into one place. There were so many amazing things I encountered, I am not sure I will be able to mention them all here.

2. Adelaide is an amazing person and I am extremely grateful to have her in my life. I could not have imagined going there all weekend with anyone else. She appreciates food, the environment, and politics all as much as I do, so we had the greatest time discussing ideas and getting psyched listening to some of the speakers.

3. Free acupuncture from the lovely folks at the ACTCM, which is where I used to go weekly, before I went raw. It was nice to get some free needling in my ears and sit and relax for 20 minutes. When work becomes more steady and I can afford to go back to their clinic, I definitely will. It's super affordable for people with low funds, the way all health care should be.

4. Body Bliss was the name of one of the booths, and among the people giving massages, I noticed one Thai-looking like guy who was kneeing his client in the back and pulling her arms behind her and twisting deeply. I said to my friend,"That right there is exactly what I need!!!" So I got a nice 15-20 minute massage for fairly cheap. It helped relieve a lot of the tension I have been feeling from being 'houseless' and running around like crazy.

5. CSAs are just fantastic. Supporting your local farmers is very important. Voting with your dollars daily is the best way to voice yourself in this capitalist society. I signed up for a Wednesday box from Farm Fresh to You to tide me over each week. It seems by Tuesday night, I am pretty much done with everything I bought at the farmer's market on Saturday, so this worked out perfectly.

6. Free schwag. I got tons of free samples of stuff I will actually use, and loads of really great free magazines and tons of free food samples all 3 days. I was concerned about the commercial aspect of the festival, but they had compost, recycling and trash bins and said 98% of their waste gets recycled or composted, so that was nice. In the dining area, all the plates, utensils, and packaging were all compostable and made of corn and veggie substances. Yay!

7. Raw chocolate is heaven. There were several different vendors giving out samples of their various makes and flavors and I was definitely riding a cacao high through all 3 days. My favorite was the raw lavender-blueberry truffles from Lulu's Chocolate Alchemy up in Oregon.

8. Chuck D dropped so much knowledge, it was amazing. I loved hearing him talk about taking over the radio and using hip-hop as a tool for social change. It seems to have gotten off course in the commercial world.

9. Reverend Yearwood of the hip-hop caucus also dropped crazy knowledge. Brother was intense and inspiring!

10. Winona LaDuke was another amazing speaker. I blogged about her a bit here.

11. Van Jones who made the crowd laugh so hard they almost cried when he put the truth in such simple works as he spoke about the green collar economy. It is so logical and sustainable.

12. Dr. Cornel West who dropped so much knowledge, it blew my mind. I will be posting his talk on here when the video is available.

13. Kevin Danaher of Global Exchange. He wants to do some really amazing things in San Fracisco and world-wide.

14. Rickie Byars Beckwith whose "In The Land of I Am" is still stuck in my head. This woman is all love. It was beautiful.

15. Food politics and the people who fight for what's right. I saw a great talk about Agroecology and Food Sovereignty by Miguel Altieri, Eric Holt-Giménez, and Raj Patel that was really inspiring.

16. Cabbage salad which is so simple and easy to make and fed me all weekend for super cheap.

17. Volunteering always makes me feel good. I love doing bike valet and meeting amazing people.

18. Free chai. Volunteering comes with lots of perks.

19. Promoting something you feel good about is nice. It's been a really wonderful shift doing raw food consulting and I definitely put a lot of time in this weekend to promoting, so a new client or two should come into my life very soon.

20. Maggie O who I ran into at the festival. She is just always such a bright, positive person to spend time with.

21. The World that we live in. This weekend touched on a lot of the problems we are having in these modern times and it was so great to see people address the issues and talk about positive solutions and taking matters into our own hands. Action is the only way we can change things. It's going to be lovely these next few years.

dix-sept.

2008-11-09T19:49:00.000-08:00

1. Potential jobs that appear when you really need them. Though it turned out that they needed a full-time nanny instead, it was really great to get paid to cook dinner for someone in their home and make enough to buy groceries for a few days.

2. Helping friends in need. I hope Caitanya heals her broken ribs and collarbone soon, but for now, I'm glad I can be of some assistance and lend her a hand, quite literally. Poor thing. She's in so much pain. Everyone direct any excess energy you have towards her for a moment, please.

3. Peter Greenaway is one of my favorite directors. No matter how many times I watch The Pillow Book, it's still always fascinating.

4. Dragon Fruit fresh from the farmers market. Dragon fruit (pitaya plant) pollination occurs only at night, when its huge white flowers bloom, so the fruit is only harvested a few times a year. I had one for breakfast this morning to celebrate a gig. I love the strange texture and taste, but what I love most about it is how beautiful it is to look at, especially when sliced open.

5. Jon's Ginormous idiot box allowed me to catch up on my netflix this weekend in big, flat screen grandeur.

6. Moving to the right place. For the past few days, I have been staying with great friends across the street from the first apartment I lived in when I first moved to San Francisco. It's made me ever so grateful for having moved out of there and into Hayes Valley. While the Mission District has a great energy to it on certain accounts, and I love the murals and many other little things about it, I would much rather live somewhere cleaner where people don't throw their trash on the street all the time, and pee all over everything or leer at me when I walk by, which is why being there made me appreciate what I have so much more.

7. Korean food. Caitanya's mom loaded her up with some goodies which she was kind enough to share. Yum.

8. Early darkness. Most days I am weirded out by it, but today I feel good about it getting dark so early, and the changes it signifies. It's also had me reminiscing about some of my winters during my decade in NYC, which were fun in a lot of ways.

9. Fingerless gloves make it easier to do things while keeping warm. Especially for photographing while hiking!

10. Chaos. I am just trying to love chaos these days because it happens for a reason, to make you see the things you need to see.

11. Talks with my mom who has been super supportive of all that I am doing and has really been an anchor during this career transitional period.

12. Tea Houses. I love staying in a house where everyone in it is constantly making or drinking tea. Yay, herbs!

13. Twitter just makes me happy when I read all my friends updates.

14. The smell of soup has been wafting into this room all day.

15. The color red has a womb-like effect on me today. Comfortable and warm.

16. Self-massage to get rid of that stiff neck I woke up with.

17. Blue kitchens. I love the way some of these old Victorian homes are painted.

18. Being The Smoothie Fairy. I have been making smoothies for everyone in the house whenever they are around. I love spreading the goodness!

19. Not knowing what is going on is sometimes the greatest of blessings.

20. Speaking the truth even though it can be painful. Sometimes people just need to hear it to remember who they really are, which is a truly amazing creature.

21. Purple has been reminding me of a lot of tastes and smells today.

sweet sixteen...

2008-11-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a really interesting few weeks. I had to sublet my apartment for the time being, and am staying with various friends through the month of November. Interesting times in my life as I work hard to try and transform my career helping others. So with that, let me express my gratitude for...

1. Amazingly generous friends. A big set of thank yous to Tanya & Zach, Rachel, Caitanya & Jon & Jenn, Victoria and anyone else who puts me up for a few days this month to help while I'm going through a stressful, but oh-so important phase of my life. I appreciate all your help.

2. Obama winning and changing the course of history. A huge weight has been lifted knowing that 8 years of having one of the most incompetent political leaders in all of history is drawing to a close and being replaced with someone who has sought to do good in their life and will help get America back on track. I am honored to be a part of this history in the making.

3. Learning better discipline is vital to me getting through the next few weeks and I am thankful for this opportunity to approach that area of my life. I've always been extremely disciplined with jobs when working for others, but I am realizing that I am not that great at staying focused when it's just for me. Without a home, I'm a bit scattered, so it's a great challenge to figure out how to retain mental clarity under financial stress and uncertainty, and I'm learning to go even deeper into my trust in the universe that it will all work out however it is supposed to.

4. Challenging my views of money has been a long time coming. I know that my views of money have long been responsible for my lack of it, but trying to change that has been really difficult. Negotiating with my last job because of the mere pittance their initial offer was for was the first big step in sticking up for myself and acknowledging that I too deserve wealth. Better that it is put in the hands of someone ethical who will do good things with it than the giant corporations who only serve to harm the people and make big profits while doing it. Reading Mike Adams' "7 Principles of Mindful Wealth" was extremely helpful in helping me acknowledge the things I had been trying to put into words the last few years on this topic.

5. The gigs section on craiglist has been my primary source for odds and ends these days. It definitely beats going back to another office job for right now.

6. Ethiopian spices have been rocking my world even more than normal.

7. Borrowing Caitanya's laptop has allowed me to fit in some blogging and get a ton of other things done. Thanks for making the sacrifice, Cai. I really appreciate it.

8. Raw eggplant pizzas. Made some in the dehydrator this week by slicing up a big fat eggplant into mini-pie crusts, coating with olive oil, and topping with fresh basil, tomato, garlic, mushrooms and nutritional yeast. Delicious.

9. Breath. My energy has been very scattered the past week with the lack of stability in my life right now, so I've been trying to hold onto the things that keep me grounded - breath, yoga, meditation, presence. I noticed that as soon as I didn't have my own space, I lost sight of those principles for a few days and my energy started to slowly scatter. I think it's absolutely possible and necessary to do all those things without a home base - if anything, it's even more necessary now than ever before.

10. Girls night at Kendra's was nice and mellow. Her house is amazing, and there was some amazing spontaneous live music that completely made my night. Kendra herself is an amazing person and I'm glad I got to talk to her more about life and the AIDS risk work she does. It's pretty amazing. We spoke a lot about how great it is to be helping people who want help. I have a lot of people in my life who don't even help themselves, and it can be really frustrating at times, so I'm extremely grateful to be working with people who actually want to change their lives instead of conceptualizing about it.

11.Sanity. I am extremely thankful for possessing all my faculties, when clearly there are so many people out there who do not. When I was in college, my biggest fear was ending up in an insane asylum or ending up just like some of the crazy, rambling homeless people I would pass on the straight. Every time I see someone like that, I pause and give thanks for having found raw foods and finally healing my mental anguish. I no longer have that fear of ending up like that, because for the first time I am certain I will never end up that way.

12. My pillow. I slept the past few nights without it, but last night finally remembered to bring it with me and slept so much better. Flannel=comfort.

13. The Edge of Heaven was amazing. It's a Turkish-German film written and directed by Fatih Akın. Here's the trailer. It doesn't really give you the gist of the movie, but it touches on a fair amount of it.I highly recommend renting the whole thing.

14. Rap sessions with a few friends trying to work out the best way to handle a situation that's been affecting us all.

15. Frank totally hyped me up about all the things I'm doing and helped waver off the stress I had been holding onto simply by reminding me who I am. Thanks, Frank!

16. Communal dinners at Tanya and Zach's apartment are a recurring event and always full of love and laughter.

17. Medjool dates from the Alemany Farmer's market. There's one guy there with the freshest, juiciest, most delicious dates. I buy like 2 pounds a week. Medjools are the 'king of dates' because they were once reserved for Moroccan royalty and their guests. They definitely make me feel like royalty. Yum.

18. Learning about cancer from my friends' experiences with it has really been usefully in guiding me towards understand new ways to help people. Thanks Jim & Frank for sharing your memories of those you lost. May you find comfort in the fact that their stories will help others.

19. Breaks. Jenn was playing some amazing beats while she was unpacking. I think I need to give her a spindle of blank CDs.

20. CIIS Public Programs. For anyone who is in San Francisco, CIIS had some really amazing programs worth checking out. When I had steady income, I frequented them.

21. CIIS deserves it's own listing. The California Institute of Integral Studies is a huge blessing. It's so amazing to be able to stud the things they offer. If I could go to one school continuously for the rest of my life, this would probably be it. Any place that agrees with me about the merits of bass therapy is a winner!

(15) The New York shortlist...

2008-11-02T12:22:00.000-08:00

Spent a lovely autumn week in New York...here it is comprised in one post that can't possibly encompass all its grandeur...

1. Autumn in New York in general, is my favorite time to be there. The crisp, cool smell in the air, the colours setting the landscape on fire, the backdrop of skyscrapers peeking out over the tops of the trees, cider, pumpkins...it's all just wonderful.

2. Amanda is one of the most unique and beautiful people I've ever known. It's funny how time goes by, and so much changes but the core of who you are remains the same and you're able to come back together at different places in your life.

3. The Museum of Natural History was lovely. I hadn't been there in years, so it was really great to look at all the natural wonders on display again. When I was in college, it was one of my favorite places in the city (I think it still is) so I used to go there a lot and spend hours just looking at creatures.

4. Seeing a wild turkey in Central Park and walking The Ramble. It's funny that I lived there for almost a decade and never imagined there was a turkey there.

5. Ponds covered in duckweed look so lovely. I sat watching the water blanketed in green as turtles (I really love them. They're such special animals.) poppped out to sun themselves on drifting logs. I had never taken the time to sit here before and it was great to explore a new part of the park and meditate.

6. Elyssa & Paul's wedding was one of the most beautifully orchestrated events I have ever been to. It was up in The Catskills and the mountains were mesmerizing in vibrant burning reds, glowing oranges and blinding yellows. The ceremony was outside, in front of this amazing natural occurance and was truly amazing. There were also so many unique touches to the day that made it really special - a poloroid guestbook where you photographed yourself for them, tree saplings and seeds as take home gifts, and a photobooth set up outside where my friends and I took all these great pictures of us jumping in the air together. Fun times! And let's not forget about the food..

7. Eating raw at the wedding was pretty easy, since Elyssa is environmentally conscious and all the food was local, organic, and sustainable. There was tons of strawberries, olives and various cut veggies to pick at during cocktail hour. For dinner the maid of honor gave me an extra salad so I had two, and then I asked one of the lovely women in the kitchen for anything raw that was left in the kitchen, so she whipped me up a giant plate of sliced up buttery pears, apples, red and orange peppers, nuts, and more olives. Yum! I ignored the big stack of crackers she shoved on the end. I'm amazed at how often people think that eating unprocessed, natural foods is simply not enough and they always try to add something cooked or processed.

8. Elliott is one of the best people a girl could ask to be friends with. He's such a kind, generous friend, and we've known each other for so ages now. We've traveled together in Europe, driven across the country together, and I have to say, he's just always such a consistent and solid person to be around. Good hearted and tons of fun. Yay, Elliott - and thanks for putting me up while I was in NY!

9. The help of friends during my post-jobless visit to NY was immeasurable. Thank you Elliott, Luke, Ayelet and Alysia for making sure I was taken care of and feeding me well!

10. Westerly Natural Market was where I used to do most of my shopping when I worked in Hell's Kitchen. It's one of the best health food stores in all of NYC, and it used to be really cheap. I'm not sure how the prices compare with everything else in NY these days though...I wasn't there long enough to make a comparison. I was really pleased to notice their raw foods section had expanded. When I was leaving NY to move to SF, they only had a few raw desserts and some snacks, but now there is an entire aisle in the back with raw goodies of all kinds.

11. Raw improv with Wes. I went to Brooklyn to hang out with Wes and brought just a few ingredients from the market. We improvised and made a yummy curry carrot salad and a beat and kale salad. Delicious! It was really great watching him get involved in preparing food and enjoy it, as I know he's been talking about his desire to eat healthy and enjoying it is what keeps you going.

12. We Like It Raw Podcasts are perfect for plane rides! It was so much better than watching the movie I had already seen on my flight there a second time. I subscribe via iTunes, but you can also listen to them on the site. I listened to a few where Dhrumil interviewed Nature Love, and it was really wonderful. I loved hearing them talk about dreams and spirituality in addition to raw foods. We're deffinitely on the same page with that. They're both such positive, soulful people. I also listened to the Steve Pavlina podcast again because its just that good. Thanks, guys!

13. Having a window seat while flying over the west is one of my favorite things about flying from coast to coast.

14. A lovely weekend in upstate NY with friends was just what I needed to maintain the balance of my trip. Driving along the Hudson River was especially beautiful.

15. Talking to Ben & Jenny about holistic health was great. Jenny is a nutritionist and Ben is studying to be a doctor and they're one of the sweetest married couples I know. I've known Ben for over a decade now and seen his transformations from art school to medical school, from single to married, from crazy long hair and piercings to clean cut and it's been a wonderful journey. Jenny is super sweet, gentle and intelligent and they balance each other well. We had a lot of really great conversations about holistic health and healing the whole body, and talked about healing centers. It was really great.

16. Loving NY again. My first trip back to NYC since I divorced it was only this past July, over 2 years after I left. And I had a good time seeing my friends, I just didn't really enjoy being in the city or have any desire or excitement to be there. So it was quite a relief to have this visit be beautiful and amazing, and to fall back in love with NY again. I wouldn't move back, but it was nice to have closure. It was difficult to have negative feelings for a place I had loved and lived in for such a long time, so I'm glad to have moved into a balanced place where I love it for what it is, and be ok with not belonging there anymore.

17. Lunch with Ayelet and Hannah was short, but sweet. I'm so thankful they were both so willing to work around their work schedules to spend some time with me. I adore them both. I stayed with Hannah when I visited in July, but had not seen Ayelet since I moved to SF, so that was extra super special.

18. The longest dinner ever with Alysia was great. We went to Hell's Kitchen and I had an amazing salad and we sat and talked for several hours catching up on life. It's so amazing seeing her belly housing a tiny life inside it. I'm so excited for her and Jeff. We got to catch up on a ton of life stuff. She's truly amazing - warm, but tough as nails, no nonsense, no BS at the same time, and always full of laughter.

19. Jim et Jules drove from Mahopac to Cold Spring to meet me for a cup of tea. I hadn't seen them since I left NY either, so there was lots of catching up to do, even though we've kept in contact and we know what's been happening in each others lives. It's just not the same as good old face to face conversation. I love these guys and they are one of couples that give me the most hope of the kind of loving, supportive relationship I hope to someday have.

20. A few days in Cold Spring visiting my cousin Biljana, her husband and their beautiful 15 year old twin girls. When I lived in the city, going to see them was a frequent weekend getaway/mini vacation. Biljana is so full of love in everything she does, and Matthew balances her so well - they are amazing together and have raised such amazing girls.

21. The Rawkathon started while I was in Cold Spring so I watched the first few days there, and the rest upon returning home to San Francisco. There were a lot of really amazing speakers, but I think Gabriel Cousens was the best. He's been a great inspiration, and each time I see him speaking or read something knew that he's written, I learn so much more and it pushes me to reach new depths with my health.

updates...

2008-11-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

Things have been really great, but really hectic lately and I've had to use most of my time and energy on building my business, working on my website, visiting one of my dearest friends who landed in the hospital after a nasty bike accident, finding someone to sublet my apartment for the month, dealing with my old job fighting my unemployment insurance claim and figuring out how to approach the verbal abuse I encountered there with the federal labor commission, so I haven't found much time to write on here, but I will soon. I've had so many wonderful things to be grateful for these past few weeks, and feel they are worthy of a summary list.

14...

2008-10-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

1. The smell of cilantro lingering on my fingertips for hours.

2. Raw ceviche is one of my favorite quick fix meals. Cube some portabella mushrooms, avocado & tomato, marinate in lots of fresh squeezed lime juice, a bit of garlic and tons of freshly chopped cilantro. I usually make it in a jar so I can keep shaking it or turning it over to let the juices coat everything evenly and let it sit for a few hours for fullest flavor.

3. Liah is awesome. She was kind enough to let me come over and pick her brain for an hour or so and discuss SEO stuff for my site, affiliate programs and some general blogging stuff. Definitely a very helpful information session.

4. Walking the Haight is oh so fun. I love all the crazy, funky shops, the cafes, the variety of humans, and the old spirit of the 60s lurking in the corners.

5. The Love of Ganesha is one of my favorite shops on the Haight. They have such beautiful skirts and jewelry, all of which are affordable, and the people are so sweet and always offer me a cup of tea.

6. Braindrops is another of my favorite shops on the Haight. It's a tattoo and piercing shop, and though I don't know how good their tattoo artists are, I am in love with their piercing staff and jewelry selection. They have some gorgeous pieces made of glass, wood, stone, and other mineralized & fossilized items, as well as some beautiful earrings made from antlers. I remember seeing a sign above their vintage pieces that said everything was made from old, found bone and animal items so nothing was hunted to create the jewelry, but am unsure if that applies to some of the newer pieces. I'll have to ask next time I'm in.

7. Watching the Muppet Movie in Dolores Park was tons of fun. I didn't remember all those Hare Krshna jokes from when I was a kid. Hilarious. Dolores Park Movie Night is one of my favorite free things to do here in the summer.

8. Cheb i Sabbah is one of my absolute favorite local DJs. He's from Algeria, but blends all sorts of global sounds, with a heavy influence on one of my personal favorites, classical Indian music. He does a Thursday night weekly party at Bollyhood Cafe that is always an interesting experience, whether packed or empty. I had a really great time there tonight, dancing, laughing and meeting new people.

9. New Friends. I just need to give a big thanks to all the new people who have come into my life recently. It's amazing what you can attract into your life when you make a conscious effort to cut ties with certain kinds of people and surround yourself with only those that push you to be your highest self and express your true nature. We're all on different paths, and my life would certainly not be the same if I was not surrounded by such amazing people who always challenge me and push me to be the best me.

10. Purging. In preperation for my raw foods blog and site, I have been spending a fair amount of time writing my personal story about my healing journey from the age of 15 to the present. It's been really cathartic to put the whole thing into words from start to finish. I am sure it will need tons of editing before I have a final draft ready, and I thank the friends who help me with that in advance. The outside perspective will be a big help.

11. Marble composition books are my favorite thing to write in. I like to keep it old school. There's just something about them.

12. Bic pens are for some reason my favorite. I have no idea why, but they're such a basic design, and whenever I use them my handwriting is always so much neater, and somehow the words flow much easier. Perhaps that last big is just psychological, or maybe the fact that it looks neater provides clarity of mind which allows the thoughts to flow more freely. Who knows, really? And does it even matter? I just like them.

13. Lemons smell so amazing. And they're used to flavor lots of raw foodie dishes, so I'm getting lots of vitamin C. And dare I mention the fresh strawberry lemonade I've been making? Mmmmm.

14. Planning for NY is exciting. I made my first trip back in over 2 years a few months ago, and it was weird because it had been a long time and I am so different, and so was it, yet eerily the same. First trips back to old homes are always a bit odd. I'm really excited to go this time though, for a whole myriad of reasons.

15. Autumn in New England is probably my favorite time of year back east, so the anticipation of walking through Central Park amongst the bright crimson, glowing oranges and blinding yellows has me going to bed smiling. I can't wait!

16. Agreements to be seen. Picking up the past and trying to find a place for it that is more current and in the present is always interesting when time has lapsed. I am not worried, as it feels right, but I am a bit curious about how things will play out.

17. Raw red pepper flax crackers are responsible for the delicious smells coming out of my kitchen. I can't wait until they're done dehydrating and I can eat one.

18. Making your own food is one of the best feelings. I've always cooked, even when I was a kid. But this new realm of making my own crackers, breads, granolas and everything is something else entirely. I'm making things that normally come in packages and are made in factories with tons of added chemicals, but not these - they're straight from my kitchen made of only the freshest, most beautiful ingredients I can find. I'm all about homesteading. Now if only I could afford some land!

19. Sticking to a normal sleep schedule even though I don't have a normal job anymore and am working from home on my own, much more meaningful projects is a wonderful and strange feeling. I'm learning to be more disciplined about this, and though years ago I would have frowned upon rising before 9am when I didn't have to be somewhere, I now really enjoy it. It helps that since going raw, I am no longer groggy and exhausted in the mornings and wake up happy and smiling.

20. Helping people plan trips is fun. I've gotten so much valuable experience from driving across America so many times, and it's great to share that information with travelers.

21. Heavy eyelids mean it's time to go to bed. I haven't been this tired in awhile. I got an exceptional amount of work done today.

13 is lucky...

2008-10-08T17:04:00.001-07:00

1. Wear Sunscreen video. I had read the essay many years ago, but today my friend showed me the video version, and it's really amazing. These are definitely things we need to be reminded of more often, so I'm glad I got to see this today. Thanks, Caitanya!

2. SFBC Volunteer Night rocks my world. I love all the volunteer work I do for the Bike Coalition, but volunteer night is definitely something special and I've met a lot of great folks who always come out.

3. Super productive days. I got a lot done today, and it was nice to just plow through a bunch of things without taking a break like I had been doing the last few days.

4. To-do lists are so much fun to make. I really enjoy them. And today came the ultimate satisfaction of crossing out a bunch of items, instead of just a few. Fun fun fun.

5. Business planning in phases is something I never really did before. I used to just list out the things I needed to do, but now I've worked out different phases to be more organized and move swiftly through the process.

6. Having the house to myself felt great. My friend is visiting, and it's been lots of fun, but i need a balance of alone time to be productive and stay feeling good, plus I am used to living alone, so today was absolutely wonderful.

7. The SFBC days without bike lanes widget is awesome, and I've now added it to my blog and my facebook page. You can get your own here.

8. Travel Journal Contests. I love that Flavorpill keeps doing these amazing contests. I hope one day I will be selected to take photos and blog on their travel journal, so I can be one step closer to attaining my travel photographer goals.

9. Walking around like you have a secret produces this awesome Mona Lisa smile that causes everyone on the street to be drawn to you. Try it. I swear it works.

10. Domain name hunting allows you to see some really weird websites. For example, I checked to see if purehealing.com was available, and it's sitting vacant while someone is trying to make a fortune selling it, so I got a good laugh and then checked pure-healing.com which was all about herpes and genital warts. Totally not what I was expecting.

11. Going to bed early. It's the first night all week that I'm going to make a conscious effort to get to bed near my old time, just like when I had a job. I just feel way more productive if I start working at 9am instead of 10 or 11.

12. Handmade dolls are awesome. Now I'll have enough free time to finish mine. I looked at what I had started a year or 2 ago, and it made me happy to finally take it out of the box.

13. Glittery thread adds a little special touch.

14. Black sequins walk the fine line of classy/trashy. I love walking the line.

15. A good knife makes all the difference in the world when it comes to whipping up quick, delicious raw meals.

16. Things made out of wood. It's so much nicer than plastic, and those natural anti-bacterial aspects & not polluting the planet through chemical manufacturing are huge added bonuses.

17. Free notebooks are helping me keep track of things these days.

18. Free dinner has filled my tummy and kept me from opening my wallet.

19. A sense of community is one of my favorite things about San Francisco. And community here comes in so many forms - it can be music, your local neighborhood, people on bikes, the art scene, raw foodists, DIY fashionistas...whatever you seek, we've got. In a city of outcasts, can we still be considered that?

20. Anita is one of many lovely people I've met through volunteering with the SFBC. She's just super warm, friendly and her eyes and smile always light up the room. I'm always glad when our paths cross.

21. A quiet apartment makes it easier to clear the head and focus on what really counts.

the 12th day...

2008-10-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

1. Waking up on a Monday and not having to dread going to work! I'm really loving this whole getting fired thing. I used to wake up every morning filled with dread and anxiety, and stress about how bad it would be at work, especially on Mondays. Now that is all over with, and I wake up smiling and feeling free. If this had happened to me a year ago, I would have had extreme anxiety, stress and probably would have fallen into a depression, but those days are gone.

2. Having time to focus on what really matters is wonderful. Being given the opportunity to devote yourself to following your soul purpose is such an amazing feeling. My last job taught me a lot about time management & scheduling, which is helping me schedule myself and hold strongly to disciplined work habits so that I can stay on track. This is something I struggled with in previous undertakings, and this time I feel able to practically apply it.

3. Synchronicity multiplying. I swear, it totally multiplies when you go raw, and when you focus more on staying on the right path. I think eating raw provides you with the clarity and awareness to be able to pay closer attention. Upon getting fired, everything else started to synch up so effortlessly, and all the pieces started falling into place immediately, and it's growing more and more each day. It's truly amazing.

4. My Saladacco is one of the greatest raw kitchen tools I own. A Saladacco is simply a spiral slicer for fruits and veggies. I use it to make pasta noodles out of zucchini, pad Thai noodles out of carrots or squash, and ravioli casings out of beets. Last night I made zucchini with a pasta sauce of fresh garlic, basil & tomatoes, and a sprinkling of nutritional yeast as a Parmesan cheese substitute. The flavors are even richer than "real" pasta and sauce that's been simmered for hours, and the whole meal only took 10 minutes to make. Awesome.

5. Hiking in the dark is fun, especially with good conversation, and a full day of watching elk.

6. Work-trades. My yoga studio has been kind enough to let me trade them work for yoga classes. Every Tuesday afternoon, I'll be straightening up the yoga props and sweeping the floor in exchange for lovely anasura classes, so I can hold steady to my practice without spending money. Thank you, Yoga Tree.

7. iCal is keeping me on top of my game and helping me allot time for everything.

8. Free Museum days. Went to the SF MoMa and Yerba Buena Galleries for free first Tuesdays and saw a few intriguing projects that stimulated my mind and soul. A lot of art at Yerba Buena that invited the audience to participate and remove art from the "do no touch" modalities of most museums. Active participation is always a good thing.

9. Living where you can see the stars is a constant reminder of how small we are, and the infinite nature in the universe. I love the lack of light pollution and smog here that allow me to stay connected to one of my favorite things.

10. Extra Action Marching Band. Walking home last night, we heard the sounds of Extra Action from a block or 2 away, and I recognized the sounds and thought it must be them, and surely it was. I love them! They essentially marched in and took over my local watering hole, Place Pigalle and got a swarm of people to follow them in and dance on the furniture. It was fantastic - band girls in sparkly costumes dancing on the pool table, sweaty half-naked trumpet players, and a giant mob dancing along with them.

11. Watching the fog roll in from afar is one of my favorite magical things about this city, and after all this time, I still never get tired of it. It dances over the city, hovering over homes and blanketing them with purplish mystery.

12. Sushi Zone is home of a true master chef. It's a wonderful tiny hole in the wall, long wait for a table but totally worth every second sort of places full of character and kindness. From the twig hands on the clock, to the drawn on fish tale above a print hanging on the wall, to the subtle bit of dill gently tucked underneath the salmon sashimi, the true marks of human beings' attention to detail make this place one of my favorite sushi restaurants in the city. And my god, does it taste amazing!

13. Madrone is another amazing local watering hole. The art on the walls is always amazing, there is always a great DJ and tons of fun events, and they play the weirdest videos in the background. But most importantly, the atmosphere is just so chill, laid back and full of character, so I always feel at home.

14. San Francisco Hills because there's always a view and it feels great climbing them!

15. Good listeners are wonderful. Never underestimate the value of lending someone your ear. Often times people need to be heard more than they need actual advice. It's catharsis, and by listening, you can allow them to sort out their own problems and find their own strengths.

16. October Peaches. I love living somewhere where I can still get locally grown, organic, juicy peaches from the farmer's market when it's almost the middle of October. Fantastic.

17. Pumpkins are everywhere! The rows outside the market reminded me how much I love driving through the farmlands outside the city and seeing these huge pumpkin patches, so hopefully this weekend on my way up to Ft. Bragg I will see plenty. They make me smile and reminisce about Charlie Brown.

18. Smiles from strangers are a daily occurrence in San Francisco and you don't have to be the one to initiate. It's nice.

19. Loud crazy people walking down my block entertain me while I work on my computer.

20. Pomegranates for only $1 from the farmer's market. I'm going to experiment with some new raw desserts.

21. Walking everywhere. Now that I don't have to be at work, I can walk all around town instead of being stuck on the bus. I love being outside all day, and enjoying the rest of our Indian summer.

elevensies...

2008-10-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

1. The arrival of Wes, one of my old friends from NY. It'll be his first visit to the West Coast, which is going to be amazing. I'm excited to show him all the Bay Area has to offer...not really possible in a week, but it'll give him a small taste. And I just really like picking people up at the airport. I guess it's because I get to welcome them from the get-go and set the proper tone for their adventure.

2. Fig Cashew Smoothies my favorite breakfast these days. I know I mentioned this in my ode to figs, but it's truly worthy of it's own blessing. I love the way the fig taste lingers on. I love that I live somewhere where fig season last from May until December.

3. Love Fest. I probably won't get to blog this weekend because of this & a day trip to Pt. Reyes, so I'll give thanks for this now. It's one of my favorite annual SF events and I always have a great time dancing in the streets in front of city hall, meeting great people, and listening to breaks, dubstep and old school jungle. There's something for everyone there. It's basically like the Berlin Love Parade, but a tad smaller, and they had to change the name. Fun fun! Here are some photos from last year's debauchery.

4. Less of a need for sleep. The more raw I become, the more energy I have and the less sleep I need. Those that know me well, know that I love the peaceful solitude mornings, but unfortunately have a really rough time getting up to enjoy them and am usually slow and bogged down early in the morning. This has been a problem since high school and I used to need to sleep anywhere between 8-12 hours (12 only during the darkest depressions), except for when I would go through manic phases, during which I only needed 4-5 hours a night for a few months straight and would be frantically running around high as a kite, so it wasn't really a good stable and rested feeling. Right now I'm at about 6.5 hours most nights and feeling really good, stable, alert, calm and energetic. I've heard some people who are raw awhile only need 4 hours. Imagine all the things I could get done and all the extra lounging around I could do outside.

5. The VP debate was hilarious. As was the Palin flow chart I saw this morning. Pretty spot on.

6. The energy I get from plants. I know I always felt this energetic connection to nature, but ever since I've gone raw, it has grown exponentially, just when I thought it couldn't get any deeper. That's true abundance. It's fascinating - now when I sit around a lot of trees and meditate, I can feel the individual molecules, and sometimes see them moving around. It's hard to explain without sounding crazy, but it's true. I just sat at my little island during lunch, and what I experienced was amazing.

7. BhangraFest. Dholrhythms, the people responsible for my favorite monthly Bhangra party, are throwing their first annual Bhangra Festival. It will consist of a series of free classes, workshops and performances, along with other events. I heart Bhangra. It's one of the most energetic forms of music ever.

8. Getting Fired is priceless. I know it seems odd to be grateful for losing something, but I had a huge ear to ear grin when they told me. Any time I have lost something in the past, what I gained from that loss in growth was so much more valuable. I am so glad I will not have to deal with my boss and his negativity & verbal abuse anymore. Work was so draining, stressful, emotionally taxing, degrading and getting out of bed every day was becoming a huge struggle, which left me with little energy to pursue the things that really matter. They basically granted me my freedom. I am extremely thankful, and know that this is for the best because now I don't have to tolerate being treated that way. And most importantly, now I can focus my time and energy on feeling good about being alive, doing healing work, and pursuing my raw foods business and art, which is what I am meant to be doing anyway. It's true - there is no way to not end up exactly where you need to be. Life will keep presenting you with the gifts you need until you learn how to stop viewing them as disasters and accept them for the blessings they are.

9. My sister. I know I counted family on here before, but this one is specific. I just feel incredibly blessed to see how her life has been transforming these past few months. She's been wanting change for awhile now, and she knew she needed it, even though it took a little longer for things to come together. When they finally did, it allowed her to blossom more into herself and who she is becoming right now is so wonderful and I'm really enjoying seeing who she becomes each day.

10. Supportive networks are so important! Thank you to everyone who is lending their support and positive energy to help me manifest this next chapter in my life as I forge forward with my own business plans. And thank you to everyone who was there for me every time I had a huge issue at work with my boss and was hysterically sobbing about it and needed to vent so I wouldn't explode. I wouldn't have lasted as long as I did without all of you. Your words gave me strength to keep pushing and fighting for what is right.

11. Broken glass looks pretty. Especially if it's mirrored. Even as a child, I was fascinated by it, and loved the sound of it shattering.

12. Laughter is really amazing and beautiful. I've spent the last 5 hours laughing, giggling, and marveling out how life presents us with exactly what we need, when we need it.

13. Time. As I look at the list of things I've been feeling the need to do this past week, I remember several times where I thought how easy it is to do all those things - all I need is more time. Time to read more raw books, time to blog more, time to market my abilities, time to do anything but waste time doing something I don't love. And then today I was granted my wish. So here's to the blessing of having time to do all the things I need to do to make what happens next happen now.

14. A simpler life is what I was seeking, and now it is what I am creating. Looking back at my life in NYC 3 years ago, and how much has changed for the better. I am in control now. Fate really is elastic - you just have to really believe it to find the strength to stretch it in the right direction.

15. Herbivore's Green Juice is a mix of celery, apple, spinach, parsley, mint, ginger, lime, and spirulina made fresh with the perfect balance of each ingredient to totally satisfy me. It's about to be my late and refreshing dinner.

16. Ana & Eva who are growing up to be such amazing, intelligent, beautiful young women. I still remember them being 4 years old in the Metropolitan Museum of Art asking me about God and now they're in High School talking to me about boys. Ha ha. I love it. I will see them again soon.

17. Biljana for being the most marvelous cousin a girl could ask for. She's so full of love. Just pure love. All the time. She's always there for me and lends support, wisdom and patience. She's so beautiful, inside and out, so talented. She's raised Ana & Eva to be such amazing creatures, and seeing her relationship with Matthew is one of my prime examples of why I believe in soul mates and finding the one. They give me such hope for what is to come in my life.

18. Lists. I have just written a very productive one for this next week and each little piece plays a part in something bigger. Once I have crossed off each item, I will be left with something incredible.

19. harman/kardon for making the beautifully designed SoundSticks I purchased in 2000. Not only are they absolutely gorgeous to look at, but they still sound amazing (even with one speaker) and that subwoofer...it's mind blowing. I honestly would not be as productive as I am without them.

20. High Fidelity for being one of the most quotable movies ever.

21. Today is the best day ever.

deset dana....

2008-10-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

1. Purslane is amazing. I'm still buzzing from the salad I had last night for dinner. It's funny that it's considered a weed in the United States, when in reality wild edibles are chock full of nutrients. It's funny that people will pluck it from their garden and just throw it away instead of eating it. It contains more Omega-3s than any other leafy vegetable plant, loads of vitamins, and was also used in Greek medicine for its beneficial healing properties. I'd really like to sign up for a local wild edibles walk so I can learn more about foraging food and get beyond purslane and nettle.

2. Wild Blackberries. Since I'm talking about foraging...I have two favorite local spots where I like to pick and eat wild berries, each worth of their own spot on this list. There is nothing like the taste of a sun-kissed, freshly picked, super juicy blackberry melting in your mouth.

3. Lands End Labyrinth The trail near the Lands End Labyrinth in SF has some tasty berries, and the smell of fresh fennel mixed with ocean air is invigorating. The Labyrinth itself is an amazing place to catch a great view of the city, and do a little ritual if that's your thing.

4. Berkeley Bulb is one of the most magical places in the Bay Area - it's just pure expression. Also referred to as the Albany Bulb, this one-time dump, is now full of tons of crazy art made from trash and wood scraps. There are tons of brambles loaded with berries to take home, a really neat castle to have a picnic at, a bike graveyard, and last time I was there, I encountered a hermit who talks to God. I really wanted to talk to him, but was with a bunch of people and didn't want him to feel like a spectacle. I've heard that his shack and the library were burned to the ground, but have not seen it with my own eyes so I'm not sure. I hope not. The bulb is a very special place, not just to me, but to many in the Bay Area who cherish creativity and ingenuity.

5. Truth In Advertising. This lovely little video was snagged from my friend Brad's blog and he snagged it from Vimeo. I love the truth. It's a wonderful thing.

Gas Signs Truth in Advertising. from Donny Miller on Vimeo.

6. Bailout Truisms. My friend Jeff sent me this and I really wish every American could see it. Props to Marcy Kaptur.

7. Jenny Holzer. Since I'm talking about truth and truisms, it only makes sense that I give thanks to one of the greatest and most inspiring artists of all time, Jenny Holzer. She is someone I first learned about in college and I immediately devoured as much of her work as I could. Throughout the years, I've seen her work all over the globe, and I am always left inspired to live honestly, with integrity and to create work that hopefully will one day have has much of an impact as hers.

8. Liu Bolin. I saw some of his work in a group show of Chinese artists at Elins Eagles-Smith Gallery. I love the whole process of painting a person to camouflage them to fit in with their surroundings. Is it really any different what people do with clothing, makeup, cars and all these material things to try and fit into the commercial industrialized world? It makes me think of tribal people.

9. Madhu's updates make my inbox sparkle. I met Madhu last winter at the Pt. Reyes Hostel and we bonded over our addiction to travel, our love of photography, nature, and Indian music. And since she lived in SF, we became friends. She left a little while ago to go on another globe trekking adventure, and I really love receiving these email updates from all over the planet. Her most recent one is about Ladakh, which she describes as "a kind of beauty that forces you to hear your own silence." I love hearing what parts of themselves my friends uncover and nourish when they travel. It's so inspirational...Ladakh is now definitely on my list.

10. My boss traveling gives me 2 more days without stress and negativity. Hurray.

11. Miranda July is my hero. When I first saw 'Me, You and Everyone We Know' I was awestruck. It was such a poignant commentary on communication and love in today's society. Then I read some of her short stories, and saw some short films. Amazing. Then she wowed me with this project. Then she came out with a project called 'Learning To Love You More' which is a series of art projects that you do to learn to love yourself more. While that may sound sort of like a self-help book (which perhaps it is in some ways) it's really more about self-exploration. It's love through a deeper knowledge of the true self via creation, expression and experience. It turned into a book, and several museum exhibits around the world, and pretty soon people began starting their own blogs to show their progress of the assignments and it spread like wildfire. Oh, Miranda July and your interactive, participatory love, you truly are a blessing.

12. Cashews are amazing.

13. Free lunch at work, which means I can eat my own yummy salad for dinner or lunch tomorrow instead and save a few bucks.

14. Dr-Cow makes the best cashew cheese I have ever had in my entire life. I see they now make a cream cheese, though I haven't seen that at Rainbow yet.

15. Books in general. And my mom for getting me hooked on them as soon as I could read.

16. Budget Traveler's Guide To Sleeping in Airports is for those who are on a super tight budget and need to rest their weary heads between countries.

17. Yesterday I know it's important to stay in the present, but I want to give gratitude to yesterday, because I realized how much easier it is to write about all that I'm grateful for when I'm in a nicer, more comfortable environment like home. The day will come soon when I will be working from there more often, and can leave the office world behind, and yesterday was a glimpse at how wonderful it can be. I can't wait!

18. Banana dates. I picked up some of these fresh from the farmer's market. They were delicious! A weird sort of texture, and flavor, but I liked it. Until now, I'd only ever had dried dates. Raw is a whole different textural experience.

19. Carrot soap. I bought this new, super yummy smelling soap from Rainbow. It's pretty decadent.

20. Contact lenses. because I don't have to deal with glasses sliding down my nose and making my face sweat when it's hot out. Pretty amazing little things, those contacts.

21. Rose Quartz Oil from Sun's Eye is one of the best smells ever. I don't like perfume, so this is a nice natural scent to freshen things up a bit.

Dia Nueve...

2008-10-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

1. Calling out of work. Even though I feel kind of icky still, I love sleeping in, and being able to spend the day at home working on my own stuff, cleaning, doing laundry and running errands. It's like an extra Sunday in the middle of the week.

2. Digital Mystikz. Their track entitled "Unexpected" has the most soothing bass lines ever and bass is what I need to feel better. Check out the "Dupstep Warz" mix too. Mmmmm...healing vibrations.

3. Laura Bruno. This is from the Petaluma Raw group:

"In 1998, Laura Bruno suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) that lowered her IQ by almost 50 points and kept her totally disabled for four years. Despite medical doctors declaring her “permanently disabled,” Laura managed to make a full recovery and now uses her experience to help injured, ill and even “healthy” people improve their awareness and increase quality of life."

I'm still amazed at all the successful alternative healing I come across every day. I'll definitely be reading up on her more soon.

4. Tanya is one of my dearest friends in San Francisco and she spent a year traversing the globe before moving here. Listening to her tales of adventure is so inspiring and keeps me learning about new places to add to my ever growing must see list.

5. We Like It Raw. This is without a doubt, my favorite raw food blog & community. I've learned so much through this site, and connected with a lot of really amazing people over the past few months.

6. Dr. Alejandro Junger. This interview I listened to today from We Like It Raw was extremely inspiring. His story of all he went through to get to where he is now is just really fascinating. Sometimes the journey is long and hard, but it's always worth it.

7. Strawberries. Not too many weeks left for fresh local berries at the farmer's market, so I bought 1/2 a flat and have been making various smoothies all week. Strawberry agave cashew, strawberry almond milk cacao banana, and even some fresh strawberry lemonade. Yum.

8. Zach. How does one person have so much energy? I'm envious. He's a great friend to have, a talented reiki healer, amazing conversationalist, eternally positive person, he possesses a passion and enthusiasm for all things in life, and for someone so young, he understands so much about life that a lot of people twice his age don't. I'm very thankful to have gotten to know him over the past several months.

9. Ryan McGinness is one of the greatest graphic designers on the planet. I finally framed and hung up the print I got from his 'Worlds Within Worlds' exhibit at Deitch in 2003 and now every day is better. So many intricate details to take in and explore...I love the beauty and complexity of his work. I met him some years ago at Printed Matter, and he was such a charming, humble guy.

10. Printed Matter deserves it own post. It is the world's largest non-profit organization dedicated to the promotion of publications made by artists
and has one of the most amazing collections of art books you'll ever see. They also publish larger editions of art books. Next time you're in Manhattan, check them out. I used to spend a lot of time there getting inspiration and motivation for my own work.

11. Amoeba is insane. I've been to tons of music stores all over the planet, and this one is by far the greatest. It's an old bowling alley converted into aisle upon aisle of CDs, records and other music paraphernalia. They have a wall of old 45s that makes me drool.

12. Cafe La Vie is my favorite local cafe. They make the best chai in town, the vibe is so chill and laid back, the people who work there are great, and George, the owner, is a really great guy and tries to help some of the people in the community who need help.

13. Kurt Vonnegut has just made my life better in so many ways. Besides the obvious reasons why I love his books, I also really love this framed photo I took of a wheat paste on Bowery St NYC back in the late 90s. It was one of his quotes and says,"Music for me is proof of the existence of God." It's been hanging on the wall of every apartment I've had since I printed it.

14. Juan Doe. I met this guy at open studios in 5 Pointz back in 2004 and being the big Alfred Hitchcock/Flavor Flav fan that I am, I bought a print of his piece called 'Ace' from his American Sooku series. Apparently he has disappeared from the internet. I hope he's in hiding creating tons more amazing work.

15. Art Hanging. Today I am rearranging things on my walls, and hanging up a lot more art in my apartment that was waiting to be framed, which explains all these other individual blessings about artists. But in general, I just love doing this in all my apartments. Each piece on my wall has a history, and every time I hang things up, I can smile fondly at the memories I have created. My life has truly been a good one, and I have been blessed to experience many great things.

16. Hot Showers are one of the best parts of waking up.

17. Lavender Laundry Detergent for keeping it natural and fresh.

18. Avocados are by far one of my favorite foods. One day I will have a yard so I can plant some avocado trees.

19. Raw Lavender Pomegranate Cheesecake. I got a piece for like $2 as the Alive! booth was closing, and man was it delicious! I'd like to get my hands on the recipe so I can tweak it to perfection.

20. Lichens. Over the past 2 years I've become a bit obsessed with them. They're all over the place in nature, and every time I go hiking, I photograph them for the 'Art Imitates Life/Life Imitates Art' project I'm working on. I'm amazed at all the vibrant colours lichens can be, and am always overwhelmed by the beauty of things as they are reclaimed by nature. This is not a new theme in my work - it goes back to my earliest days of photography - but I've been really digging into it lately. So much so, that I brought some fluorescent yellow lichens and various colours of sulphur tinged soil back from Lassen with me and am using them to create some handmade work. I think my work is evolving more into works created from nature, which feels so natural (no pun intended) and right for me.

21. Olafur Eliasson. How can I talk about lichens and moss and works created from nature without giving gratitude to this man? I saw his 'Take Your Time' exhibit at the SF MoMA last year and it was absolutely incredible. His giant wall of moss and a lot of his photographs really inspired me. I can't wait to go to Iceland in June and see some of the things that have inspired him in real life.

creating solutions... (8)

2008-09-30T10:45:00.001-07:00

I had a bit of a problem with this lately...
I spend a lot of my time on the weekends away from the computer because I'd rather be outside, and at night I try to avoid it because I've been on it at work all day and I need to reconnect to other things in life. This has led to me coming in on Mondays trying to write back posts to make up for the missed days, and then I never catch up and get to today, and then weeks pass, which is silly because it takes me out of the present and puts me into the past. So rather than create a big mental mess, I'm just going to skip those days from here on in, unless something extraordinary happens, in which case I'll just include that item with the current. I know I give thanks for more than 21 things on those days because I am out living, and I think that is what really matters, whether I post about it or not. And the days I miss at work, it's just too busy, so I'll give my thanks after 5:30. So without further delay....

1. Common Ground for teaching me tons of new things every month. They really keep on top of things, and keep me aware.

2. Huge Bags of Mixed Greens for $2 Oh, how I love the farmers' market.

3. Sweet Yellow Cherry Tomatoes Yum.

4. Paying for part I of my raw nutrition certification program I'm so excited about this new aspect of my life unfolding. It's completely logical, and makes sense in so many ways, but if someone would have told me 10 years ago I'd be doing this, I'm not entirely sure I would have believed it 100%. I think I needed to get whole and healed first. So paying this deposit was an investment in my future, and my ability to help others heal, and I can't even begin to explain how amazing that feels.

5. Love Humiliation & Karaoke I went to see my friend Enzo's show a few days ago, and as I watched it, I was thinking about how I need to put it as one of my blessings. It was a funny one man show - a series of wonderful vignettes of his real life, told with such raw, honest emotion, and self-deprecating humour, accompanied by Filipino transvestite versions of Air Supply songs. It's basically a true story about his crazy, messed up life, how twisted his family is, how rough situations in life just screw with us sometimes, and how he created love in his life anyway by choosing to grow and change and make room for it. What a beautiful human being! Never will you laugh so much at misfortune, I promise. If you're in SF, go see it. It's great. It's funny. It's beautiful.

6. Cheap Pete's They make framing affordable, and when you're an artist, that can be quite costly.

7. Plane tickets I just love the freedom that comes from just purchasing them, before you've even left for a trip. It keeps you buzzing until you go.

8. Larkspur Free, locally grown, pretty flowers on my desk that just keep blooming and blooming.

9. Not stressing over the financial downturn I am extremely thankful that it really doesn't affect me and my mindset. I am sorry for those it is hard on, but I do believe this is a great opportunity for things in America to really change, and if people embrace that, they will be fine. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. There is a sustainable future in sight.

10. Lassen Volcanic Park This is way past due, but I went a few weeks ago and it was absolutely amazing. Bubbling mud pots, steaming fumaroles, tons of other hydro-thermal goodies, the fantastic lava beds (yes, that's really what they were called), a cinder cone with conifers triumphing against unlikely conditions, painted dunes, and so many other beautiful things.

11. The Island at Levi's Plaza Sometimes I eat lunch out in the roof garden, but most of the time I prefer sitting on my own private island with the hummingbirds and butterflies. It's exactly the re-charge I need midday to get through the rest of work.

12. Reconnecting with old friends Evelyn came to SF for a few days and we got to have lunch and reconnect. The last time I saw her was in NYC when I was frantically rushing to finish packing to move our west, and I was stressed, so it was what it was. It was great to reconnect at a much nicer place in life and just relax.

13. Parea one of my favorite wine bars in the city. I had some awesome Turkish and Slovenian tastes.

14. Easy dates and feeling level headed I went on a date with a guy who was smart, funny, cute, interesting, had good taste in music and literature, and it was nice to go out with someone and talk, but know that it wasn't going to lead anywhere. He's a good guy, just not the one for me. I prefer guys who like to talk about the infinite possibilities in the universe, not the infinite limits and frustration. This is not a good or a bad thing, it's just the kinds of guys I like meeting and being around. There will always be limits and frustrations, so why not focus on the positive instead? I want to be inspired by whomever I end up with, constantly grow in my relationship. But it was nice to feel so sure and confident about what I want out of a relationship, instead of the normal head-spinning insanity that I'm used to. Does this mean I'm growing up? I hope not. Does it mean I'm getting closer to manifesting what I really want and deserve? Definitely!

15. Dulse one of my favorite seaweeds. I love sprinkling the flakes in salads.

16. Orchids We have so many of them in the office and there are so many varieties. I love being surrounded by beautiful things.

17. The Dreambook App on facebook. It could use a few tweaks, but its existence alone is pretty neat. I went through and reinterpreted a dream from 2006 because it was easy to cut and paste, and its interpretation was even more relevant to me now.

18. Launches the Schmap with my photo of Chicago is finally out.

19. Trazzler also found another image published here and they were really nice about rectifying the issue of not having gotten my permission in the first place, and updated the info immediately. I was impressed. Their site looks pretty neat.

20. Google without which, I might not have found out someone was using my image without permission.

21. 5:30pm because I get to go back outside where I belong.

monday, monday.... (7)

2008-09-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

day 7...

1. Mimosas at work great way to start the week.

2. Weird people who apply for jobs at our office because they provide me with humour by stalking the design director, grunting, and keeping me on the phone forever by asking me weird questions, or as Arlene puts it "by using circular logic."

3. Lust, Caution This movie was just unbelievably HOT.

4. Google Custom Maps For allowing me to view other users awesome custom maps like this one that will help with this weekend's trip.

5. Kookie Karma for making healthy & delicious desserts. They have a few raw options, my favorite being the Lemon Fig, though I do think they are slightly overpriced, so I don't buy them often.

6. Cultured This awesome homegrownBerkeley company, run by Alex Hozven makes some of the yummiest raw sauerkraut and kimchee I've ever tasted. My favorite is the raw beet and ginger one. I have a spoon or two a day to get my daily dose of probiotics. Great piece on fermented foods at Conscious Dancer.

7. Kombucha while we're on the topic of fermentation, I might as well throw this little blessing in. Great for balancing! I'd love to make my own at home, but have been buying GT's Organic Raw Gingerade for the past year and can't seem to stop because it's sooo good!

8. Voicemail for diverting those less than savory phone calls at work. Again with the strange strangers.

9. Eric, Tanya, Victoria & Liah planning camping trips without them is so much fun, and I love how we all pull our trips together.

10. Coco Loco for making some of the dopest coconut jewelry.

11. Coconut from coconut chips, to coconut oil, to coconut butter, I love it.

12. Cafe Gratitude Chocolate Mousse Hands down one of the most delicious raw desserts ever. And now I can make it at home.

13. Jeremy Fish I've been a longtime fan, so it's only right to thank this guy for existing. His art is amazing, and always makes me smile. Peep the gallery section for 30 tasty visual morsels.

14. B&H for always delivering my film in a timely manner. I miss the experience of the NY store with all the carts and pulleys going across the ceiling.

15. Geico for continuously lowering my rates every time I renew and for having amazing customer service reps.

16. Orion Magazine These guys are so amazing, I finally subscribed and got my first print issue. I'd seen and heard people who write & photograph for them a lot over the past year, and I think it's a really amazing, and relevant magazine. It's exactly the kind of publication I'd like to publish my images.

17. Nabila's I absolutely LOVE the wonderful Palestinian people who work here. They are all super nice, they let me get things on credit when I'm short, I always have great conversations with them & and they are all surprisingly good looking too. And it's always a plus to walk into your corner health store and hear Wax Tailor pumping on the speakers.

18. Wax Tailor Since I just mentioned him in #17, it's only right that I give him proper thanks. This man produces some of the sickest instrumentals you'll EVER hear. I first heard him when he sent me a few tracks over at Third Earth Music to collaborate with some of our artists, and I was really impressed, because we got a lot of low-quality stuff sent to us. And, man am I ever glad that the collaborations worked out. The end result was some of my wonderful friends in North Carolina getting the international exposure they deserve, because they are wicked talented and hard working guys. The combo of him + them is amazing.

19. Getting over past relationships sometimes it's a hell of a lot of work, but man when you finally let those last pieces go and move on, it's so liberating.

20. Identifying patterns this generally helps with #19. And the more I notice them & admit to them, the more confident I am that will stop repeating them and stop dating boys who can't give me what I need. If you keep accepting less than what you deserve, that's what you'll continue to get.

21. Silence it's so rare, and so beautiful. I like how it fills things up more than noise.

day 6 delayed

2008-09-16T16:55:00.001-07:00

more weekend fun from sunday....

day 6...
1. Gabe for helping me out

2. Serendipity for Gabe needing help when I needed help.

3. That weird political house on my walk home on Webster I need to go back and take pictures.

4. Seaweed Salad from Domo I always welcome more sushi to the neighborhood.

5. St Francis Creamery some of the best shakes in town and some great vegan options. They even have a Guinness float, if you're so inclined.

6. Schmap for wanting to use one of my photos in one of their guides. I hope it works out, since I really want to get my food in the travel photography door.

7. Lazy Sundays I like the slow, lazy pace most of my Sundays tend to have.

8. Santogold she makes my speakers happy. That Switch & Graeme remix is tight.

9. Wooloo for giving me another cool place to exhibit my art and look at other people's work. Inspiration is key.

10. Blue Bottle I don't drink coffee often, but it's nice to be able to get some of the best coffee in the city right around the corner. They individually drip each cup so it's super duper fresh, and make cute little hearts in the foam of their cappuccinos.

11. Frommer's Their National Parks of the American West book helped me make the most of my time driving cross country from NY to SF, and has proven to be a valuable source for planning all my weekend National Park excursions since and helping me avoid the crowds, see the most spectacular things, and what to limit myself to if I only have a day or 2.

12. The National Park Service for up to date, detailed info by season. This helps me a lot for figuring out when to go to get the best shots. Maybe one day they'll hire me so they can have more photos on their sites.

13. Yoga Tree I love having an amazing studio right around the corner.

14. Vanilla for making some of the most gorgeous bicycles on the planet. I have to have one!

15. People who put the toilet seat down 'nuff said.

16. Living alone I love having guests, but also really love having my own space and having me time to curl up and read, so my lovely, little studio is perfect for me.

17. Indian Cushions cuz I love sharing a meal in a circle around my coffee table. Low to the ground is nice.

18. My fuzzy green Columbia blanket It's so snuggly and comforting. Thanks, Mom!

19. Jonathan Carroll He writes some of the most amazing books I've ever read. I highly recommend starting with 'White Apples' as it's the one a friend recommended to me years ago and got me hooked!

20. Yawning and sighing They just send the right stuff to your brain to trigger good feelings.

21. Credo Mobile because Sprint was seriously ripping me off, had awful customer service and was always trying to get more money from me. Credo donates a percentage of your charges to progressive non-profits, and everyone in customer service is just so charming and nice!

side note...

2008-09-16T16:41:00.001-07:00

on a sidenote, Lynn from the Cornucopia Institute saw my posting on 9.11.08, and asked me to let you all know they are in great need of funds to help their lawsuit against the USDA. Beyond the almond pasteurization issue, there are a lot of other really unjust things happening with organic labeling/regulations and irradiated foods. If you'd like to know how you can help, shoot them an email.

day 5, albeit a bit late...

2008-09-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

I don't think I'll have time on the weekends to really sit and write these things out, as I prefer to spend my time away from the computer and outside in nature with no technology or running around town with friends, so I'll try to commit things to memory over the weekends and update the following week.

1. Saturdays because I love being on my own schedule.

2. Singing with a stranger on the beach under the Golden Gate bridge That totally made my night! Fugees vocal chorus stylings with Sublime-like freestyles. How sweet.

3. Justine what a delight to meet this lovely lady and connect on so many good things.

4. The Alemany Farmers' Market which I go to almost every Saturday morning. Fresh, cheap, yummy organic goodness.

5. Joe Chamillionaire I just really enjoyed hearing about his life and childhood. It's amazing how much humans can endure.

6. Cha-ya because it's so yummy

7. The Golden Gate Bridge I just never stop being wowed that I live here.

8. Dolores Park one of my favorite places to pass the time in the sunshine.

9. Cilantro one of the best smells and tastes ever.

10. Fresh Lime Juice adds that zing.

11. Nama Shoyu So I can have soy sauce and still be raw. It's unpasteurized, aged for four years in cedar kegs so it can be made with less salt naturally, while still being full of flavor.

12. The Pirate Store I love taking visitors there, and showing them Karl and the lard.

13. Paxton Gate one of the greatest stores in all of San Francisco. It's full of curiosities, bat skeletons and tree rings and makes me deliriously happy. It's my version of being a little kid in a candy store.

14. Carnivorous Plants cuz they're just so damn cool! Chomp.

15. Cucumbers Cool and classic. So many ways to use them!

16. Sleeping In I wish I could sleep til 9 or 10 most days.

17. A Fantastic Day With Jill I knew I missed her, but didn't quite realize how much until I got to spend so much time with her. Oh, what fun!

18. TV on DVD for allowing me to not waste time, brain space, and energy on commercials for stuff I don't need and will never buy. And for helping me fall asleep at night.

19. Marisa her birthday party is always an unusual event. It was so great to sit and look at her work and talk about photography for awhile. I really miss critiques, so maybe we can start one soon.

20. Living so close to everything my neighborhood is smack dab in the middle of it all, so I can walk everywhere.

21. Slumber parties the most people I've had crash on my floor so far!

Quatrième journée...

2008-09-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

1. Morning Visitors Jill came from Portland this morning and met me at work to get my keys. We haven't seen each other in almost 3 years (since I left NY) so it was a great way to start the day!

2. Bonfires Thanks to Burners Without Borders, several Black Rock artists, the Surfrider Foundation and a few other groups bound together, the fire pits (check the designs) at Ocean Beach were installed last year and we've been enjoying them ever since. The mixture of open heat and crackling logs and cool, fresh, ocean air is fantastic.

3. Stephanie sometimes she's not entirely aware of how truly amazing she is, and forgets that she's going to be extraordinary, because there simply is no other option in the plan. I like that we can help each other through the work madness just by talking daily. She's been an immense help in making my days here brighter.

4. Sprouting My kitchen is covered - I've got a colander full of chickpeas sprouting in one corner, and another full of mung beans, and I just love the whole process of watching life burst forth from within these tiny little pods. Enzymes are incredible. It's magical, and the living foods transfer their life force energy on to me which feels fantastic.

5. Caitanya because having friendships so full of trust, honesty, growth, change last this many years is a rare and beautiful thing to be cherished. This girl has no idea how important she is, and I am truly blessed to have her in my life. She forces me to look inside myself and seek out the changes I need, and I always feel I can openly speak my mind and she never judges and I always feel supported, even when I'm making decisions most people don't agree with. We've been through so many things from the old school jungle Spanish Harlem David bowie days in the late 90s in NYC to our present nature loving, hiking, spiritually seeking, weekend adventure, couchsurfing SF worlds. It's great when things come together that way.

6. Kale magical greens.

7. Akoha Jack is holding onto a mission card for me cuz I'm so excited to play! I'm going to borrow his words to describe it: "Akoha is basically a social reality game that encourages random acts of kindness. Every user is a player of the game. To play, you get a card with a mission on it. It'll be something like "buy someone a coffee." You complete the mission, and then when you're done, you hand the card off to the next person. Each card has a tracking number that tracks geolocation, time, date, and a story that goes with it. Basically, you get to see how far your random acts of kindness go." How awesome is that? Thanks, Jack!

8. Bon Iver for blessing my ipod this morning and making music so beautiful it makes my heart break. I got to see them (him, but technically a them) at Outside Lands this summer, and after a year of listening to 'Skinny Love' digitally, it was fantastic to finally hear them perform live.

9. Angela for keeping me entertained with her ever-changed g-chat status messages that force me to ask questions and get glimpses of her life 3000 miles away.

10. Excalibur Thanks to them I can now make flax crackers, raw quiches, crusts, and breads. I'm in heaven now!

11. Elsewhere for creating such an amazing opportunity. I hope to apply for sometime next year, when I've had more time to think of what sort of project to do there. I imagine it will have something to do with my childhood, as the space somehow reminds me of playing in my old basement in the Ocean Avenue house. It's such a unique space and there are so many options!

12. Virgin America for allowing Wes to make his first trip to the West Coast in comfort and style. So exciting!

13. Raw For 30 Days for giving people a chance to reverse their diabetes and giving them hope and support to heal themselves naturally. I finally got to watch the whole documentary, and it was really inspiring. Especially the guy Kirt, who decided he wants to become a naturopath. I know he is going to make a difference in people's lives. And Pam - her energy was great! I don't think it will be enough to convince my dad, but one never knows until they try so I think I'll try to get my hands on a copy to send to my parents.

14. The African Outlet My friend Horgan runs this fantastic shop around the corner from my house, and they bring such life to our neighborhood. There's always a party outside! Lots of great music, drumming, dancing, and the smell of sage and incense wafting down the block. It's part of what I love coming home to. And the store itself is an anomaly, I'm always amazed at how they can possibly fit that much stuff into such a small space! Horgan's energy is really amazing too - he's a great person to sit and talk to.

15. Fennel It grows wild in SF, so I get whiffs of it walking around the city. And oh, the taste! In salads with lemon, garlic and olive oil, or in a tart, or with cilantro yogurt sauce. Mmmmm, fennel.

16. Stuff White People Like for always making me laugh my ass off.

17. Arlene because she makes sure that I laugh at least once a day. She's one of the most giving, open-hearted, creative people I know and I am better for having known her. And talking to her about her relationship dysfunctions helps me better understand my own relationship dysfunctions which is helpful with eliminating patterns. She's also awesome because I got to play banana thief at work for an entire day, where I got to write ransom notes and plot diversionary tactics, which was way better than actually working.

18. Noma Shoyu because giving up soy sauce would have been hard.

19. Sunshine at noon no matter how grey it is in the mornings sometimes, by noon, the sun is almost always bright and shining. The weather is unpredictably predictable.

20. Herbivore for adding a few raw items to their already delicious menu. I hope the visiting Portlanders enjoy their lunch.

21. Fark no explanation necessary.

day 3...

2008-09-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

1. Weekend Sherpa For sending me the dopest hikes, weekend escapes, and adventures in the bay area every single week. This site (and their newsletter) have given me access to so many wonderful experiences.

2. Talent with Words Because speaking my mind to in that letter to my angry, ego-centered boss made me feel so good and happy. I'm going to keep fighting for what is right until it's time to quit and move on.

3. Almond Law Suits and the Cornucopia Institute for fighting the bigger battles.

4. Thuc For daily stimulation, great inspiring conversations, and laughter via g-chat. She's always working on these funny little projects like ask a weasel to make people smile while working on the deeper political issues as well.

5. Emily For being part of the universe's master plan. I was thinking about helping others with healing and raw food transitions, and then her inquiry fell into my lap a few short hours later. And she is truly wonderful to work with. What a great opportunity!

6. Activate World News Filtered by Flavorpill gathers all the news I'd be reading eventually throughout the week and puts it all in one clever email with loads of links, photos and simplicity! I cannot even explain how much time this one saves me, while still allowing me to know what's going on all over the world. I used to spend HOURS every day reading the news before this, and still ended up knowing just as much.

7. Headphones My daily walks home just wouldn't be the same without them. Nor would bus rides, long flights, train rides or anything else that requires waiting.

8. California Produce I am soooo blessed to have a longer span of time in which to get so many fresh, delicious things to eat. Our climate allows for a lot of diversity in luscious organic crops, and even during the winter, I can eat like a queen.

9. The Living Light Institute How is it possible that a place like this even exists? I'm going to begin my nutrition certification next month. Yay!

10. Biomimicry cuz nature is wisdom.

11. Marina Abramovic One of the most amazing and inspiring Serbian artists! Her little girls with guns photo is printed out and hanging by my desk, like a little group of guardians protecting me while I watch over them. Every time my boss drives me insane, I look at this image and it makes me smile and want to make the world better. She also sold her house to establish an art foundation on the Hudson, and if that's not generosity, than I don't know what is.

12. Elyssa For taking the time to try and make her wedding as green and sustainable as possible. Each and every person that tries to do a little individually adds up into a very large difference.

13. My other boss For being nice to me, and for just being such a character. He gives me a million things to laugh at every day just by being who he is.

14. My dream last night It was really comforting, inspiring and mysterious. lately, I keep having dreams with faceless figures in them.

15. Daniel Pinchbeck For writing "2012" and putting together all the different thoughts and theories into one place. I wanted a book that did this before it even existed, so finally finding it was extra special.

16. Basil The smell of it freshly chopped permeates any room.

17. Today Because I lived in NYC on this day in 2001 and we all went through a lot. It's also my parents 40th anniversary today, and in 40 years they have gone through a lot too.

18. Purified Water The water at work is super filtered clean and tastes amazing.

19. Flannel Sheets They just feel so great on my skin. I like rubbing my feet against them when the wind blows in and I've just hit the snooze button.

20. Clean Air Public Transportation SF's bus system runs on electric cables, so it's not using tons of oil and spewing nasty chemicals out into the air. Even though I'd rather ride a bike, I still love this!

21. Grey Mornings Though I generally am a bigger fan of sunshiney mornings, the greyness when I woke up today was quite nice. It has a romantic, mysterious, melancholy feel to it that sometimes just feels so nice.

day two...

2008-09-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

perhaps in a few days i'll also start posting things i'd like to place my intentions on, to help manifest, but for now, just the 21...

1. Intuition perhaps the greatest gift of them all. I know when I'm struggling with making a decision and something just doesn't feel right that as soon as I decide to not proceed with that plan, I feel much better and know it was the right thing to do. As I get older and healthier, it becomes much easier to listen to this inner voice and ignore the people that tell me otherwise.

2. A Steady Job even though it is not the one I want, it is the one I need for now to get me on to the next place and knowing I'm on the right path makes it easier to continue doing something I don't love because it's leading to something I do love.

3. Rainbow Grocery my local co-op has it all!

4. Figs by far, one of my favorite things to eat. sometimes with rasperry agave syrup and freshly sliced mint, sometimes in a cashew honey smoothie, but often just plain and slice in half so i can see the beauty of their perfect design.

5. Dinner with Tanya, Regs & Zack exactly what I needed to feel comfort and nourishment last night.

6. Indian Summers Now that it's been a few years and I've gone through the cycles more than once, I think I've finally adjusted to the seasons here and the fact that summer generally begins at the end of August and goes til October.

7. Sleeping with Open Windows I'm always grateful when it's warm enough to sleep with the windows open. I always feel best in the morning when I've slept breathing fresh air, and it's found its way in through my skin.

8. Shoes with Zippers shoe laces are just so over-rated.

9. The Sun it gives me so much energy and makes me feel so good. Radiant, really.

10. Tracie for being such an amazingly thorough and smart project manager and sparing me lots of headaches. It makes my job so much easier to work with people who are pro-active.

11. Layne for holding our entire office together every single day. I don't know how he finds the strength to deal with all the crap that he has to manage, and it's a definite inspiration.

12. Denim without which I might be naked every day. Not that I would mind, but you know...there are laws and whatnot.

13. Burt's Bees Tomato Complexion Soap the earthy smell of it is intoxicating.

14. Skin it's our largest organ, and I do my best to not pollute it with chemicals, lotions, perfumes, etc and in return I get rewarded with it staying super soft and smooth.

15. The SFBC for which I am extremely honoured to be involved with. They're a first rate organization, dedicated to making the world a better place by making it safer for the greatest invention of all time, and every time I volunteer with them I meet the most amazing people. Plus Kate, Lisa Ruth, Kash and the folks that make it all happen are such inspriring folks to talk to, and being able to spend time with people who believe so passionately in changing the world is a serious blessing.

16. Unsavory Looking Peaches I just love peaches soooo much so I usually opt for tons of them as often as possible during the season, but since the locally grown ones haven't been looking so great this last week, I've been eating nectarines every day and if not for the lack of good peaches this last week I might not have been forced to realize how delicious nectarines really are.

17. Macs every single day that I am stuck working on a PC at work just makes me love my Apple at home even more.

18. Wataya her advice on putting together retreats is going to come in very handy for the trips Tanya and I are planning. Her energy is wonderful, and talking to her about how much I love anasura and why (she's an instructor) re-affirmed to me that I really need to get back to my practice very soon.

19. The anticipation of Jill's visit it's been like 2.5 years since I've seen her, and since she moved to Portland last winter, we've been trying to find time in our schedules that works for both of us. I'm super excited to see her and will be thankful for her visit when it's actually here, but right now that anticipation of seeing a friend is so nice.

20. Dying orchids i really like saving things and bringing them back to live. Nourishment is so important for them and me.

21. David Wolfe and Nick Good for writing the following beautiful words which I have been nodding my head to the past few days:
"...the forces of nature are never in balance - the yin-yang symbol is incorrect - overall constructive forces must predominate in the universe or nothing could exist."

the beginning...

2008-09-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

There are soooo many things to be thankful for each day, but sometimes the mind gets clouded and we spend more time and energy on things that don't really matter. My intention is to cultivate a deeper awareness of even more of these little things and events I appreciate, and allow the proper time for giving thanks to their existence, instead of the usual small acknowledgements. Sometimes these things will be serious, sometimes they will be extremely silly, sometimes they will not make sense to anyone but me, sometimes they will have details, and sometimes just a few words, but I think we need all these different kinds of things and experiences to be whole, not just one kind.

I hope that you will all share some of your blessings with me in the comment section. You can remain anonymous if you wish.

1. My Family I'm thankful to have chosen the parents I have, for the opportunities for learning and growth that they each present in my life, and my sister for the sharing of different perspectives. I am also extremely grateful to have a large wealth of cousins, uncles and aunts, who though sometimes far away in ways beyond just distance, show me the value of history and connections when things come together.

2. Cacao How on earth would I have ever been able to go raw without this beautiful superfood? Chocolate has always made me feel good, and knowing I can make a multitude of mousses, nutmilk ice creams, sauces, smoothies and even just a handful of nibs to munch on has made my transition oh so amazing.

3. Melissa G For helping me to remember to trust the universe and all its gifts when I was broken and had battle scars too deep into my heart from the broken trust of people who were supposed to help me in the past, but did not have the resources available to really provide the help I needed. And for introducing me to Lauri.

4. Lauri For always calling me on my shit, especially when I need it most. For saying the truths I already know inside out loud, so that I can't deny them and can bring an end to patterns and "rewire my nervous system" as Melissa says.

5. Briksha For inspiring this blog to exist in the first place by telling me about the 21 blessings one of his mandala yoga groups does.

6. San Francisco I give thanks to living here daily, out loud, in emails, and in thought a million times a day, so let's make it blog-official.

7. Hazelnut Milk Why drink milk from a cow when you can have this? Seriously! Yum.

8. Gmail Without which I might never find any of my emails, references, research, articles, and without which I might not be able to organize events so well.

9. Heirloom tomatoes A million different ways to make them, yet I still prefer them with fresh basil & olive oil.

10. Blogger For giving me an easy way to try to hold onto this discipline and share it with others.

11. Netflix Do I really need to explain this one?

12. Chai More spice in my life.

13. Charles & Ray Eames The kind of relationship I hope to someday have.

14. The rooftop garden at work For providing me with seclusion and sunshine so I can spend my lunch breaks reading in quiet.

15. Lavender One of my favorite smells.

16. Hayes Valley For being the most perfect neighborhood for me to dwell.

17. Working only 2.5 miles from home So I can walk home every day instead of being yet another one of the sardines stuffed into tin cans during rush hour.

18. Compost Bins For allowing me to reduce the amount of waste I put out into the landfill, and for making it possible to only take my trash out once a month.

19. For a lighter workload Only one of my bosses has been here at a time for the last 3-4 weeks, making life a lot less stressful and more focused and free.

20. That little request on Goodreads Because even though nothing was said, perhaps it means things will be ok between us in the future if we take the steps to make it right.

21. Amanda Even though we had to let go and go our separate ways, I still think about you all the time, and our friendship has had one of the most meaningful impacts on my life throughout the ages. Your beauty, search for knowledge of self, and creation of life as you want it to be have always been, and always will be an inspiration even when you're not in my life.